polaske93 Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 So I wrote a post similar to this a couple of weeks ago, and everyone told me how stupid it would be, how painful it would be.. I didn't write her then, but I have previously before that, and made myself sound like a weak/needy idiot, and never got a reply.. I'm sitting here tonight thinking about her again (what's new). And I remember once she told me all I wanted her for was sex, that I changed. Truth is I did change, I didn't just want her for sex. But I quit doing all of the small things I used to do, the relationship got really boring, and stale. She hurt me terribly, but truth is I still love her. Not like (I need you in my life I miss you!) Love her.. but I love the person that she is, truth is she was my best friend. Anyway I will quit rambling. I need some advice, I know NC is best, and that everybody will probably tell me not to contact her. Truth is, I don't care of she replies, or how she feels if she were to read it. I just want to tell her that I realize why she fell out of love, and left me. I want to tell her that I still love her as a person, and that I wish i would've done things differently, that I wish i would've done all of the things I used to do. I loved her so much, I loved her for all of the things she was insecure about, her scars, her past. Ya I would give anything to hold her again.. but I'm happy that she found someone that makes her happy like I used to. I don't want her to reply, or even to try and swoon her again. I just want her to know that I loved her much more then she realized, and that I took advantage of what I had.
Chin Up Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 Read This, sleep on it, and see if you feel as much gusto over the idea tomorrow. 1
Author polaske93 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Posted December 8, 2014 The thing is, j have text her before, at first she would say "leave me alone, my boyfriend is getting pissed" "you need to move on" thing like that.. then a week would go by and i would text her, this time no response. True both of those hurt so badly it was like heartbreak all over again. Maybe I'm lying to myself, but I honestly could care less if she responds to this, actually I don't want her to at all. I just hate to think that she looks at me and thinks that I just wanted sex from her and nothing else. I just want her to realize that I know that I quit showing her what she meant to me. That I was in the wrong, and that I don't blame her for leaving me. As a matter of fact, I'm glad that she did for both of our benefit. I can't imagine the kind of person I would be if we were still together it was a ver unhealthy relationship for me. And honestly she deserves someone better then me. I just hate to think that she thinks of me and doesn't realize how much shewant to me. Not just another girlfriend or someone o dated, but someone I actually deeply cared for, and loved like I never have before. And that I'm glad I knew her as a person, not just as a lover, but that I had the pleasure of knowing someone so beautiful.
EmbeddedCortex Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 The thing is, j have text her before, at first she would say "leave me alone, my boyfriend is getting pissed" "you need to move on" thing like that.. then a week would go by and i would text her, this time no response. True both of those hurt so badly it was like heartbreak all over again. Maybe I'm lying to myself, but I honestly could care less if she responds to this, actually I don't want her to at all. I just hate to think that she looks at me and thinks that I just wanted sex from her and nothing else. I just want her to realize that I know that I quit showing her what she meant to me. That I was in the wrong, and that I don't blame her for leaving me. As a matter of fact, I'm glad that she did for both of our benefit. I can't imagine the kind of person I would be if we were still together it was a ver unhealthy relationship for me. And honestly she deserves someone better then me. I just hate to think that she thinks of me and doesn't realize how much shewant to me. Not just another girlfriend or someone o dated, but someone I actually deeply cared for, and loved like I never have before. And that I'm glad I knew her as a person, not just as a lover, but that I had the pleasure of knowing someone so beautiful. Have some self respect man! Just stop it! What do you get by degrading yourself even more?!?! How long have you guys been broken up? Jesus. Who cares what she said? She won't care! It won't help! You'll only make things worse for yourself! Also, stop thinking about what she said for her reason to breakup. Dumpers always come up with all sorts of stuff to say to either not hurt your feelings or to put the blame on you so that you'll say it's your fault, so that they won't have to feel guilty. Please. Don't contact her anymore. This is terrible dude. You're better than this. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 The thing is, j have text her before, at first she would say "leave me alone, my boyfriend is getting pissed" "you need to move on" thing like that.. then a week would go by and i would text her, this time no response. True both of those hurt so badly it was like heartbreak all over again. Maybe I'm lying to myself, but I honestly could care less if she responds to this, actually I don't want her to at all. I just hate to think that she looks at me and thinks that I just wanted sex from her and nothing else. I just want her to realize that I know that I quit showing her what she meant to me. That I was in the wrong, and that I don't blame her for leaving me. As a matter of fact, I'm glad that she did for both of our benefit. I can't imagine the kind of person I would be if we were still together it was a ver unhealthy relationship for me. And honestly she deserves someone better then me. I just hate to think that she thinks of me and doesn't realize how much shewant to me. Not just another girlfriend or someone o dated, but someone I actually deeply cared for, and loved like I never have before. And that I'm glad I knew her as a person, not just as a lover, but that I had the pleasure of knowing someone so beautiful. Dude, just no. 1
Chin Up Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 Maybe I'm lying to myself Bingo. Just like we all do before we contact our exes. We all say the same things lol "I don't care if they don't respond or tell me to buzz off. I have this super ultra amazing reason to do it!" and then we always feel like crap after. Fact is, and this is gonna suck to hear, she doesn't care. End of story. It doesn't matter what you say, or how well you word it. You might as well send that text to a stranger in another country. You'd probably get better results, unfortunately lol. What you're doing right now, is what smokers do when they're trying to quit smoking. They talk themselves into it. All sorts of good reasons..its just one puff, it won't matter. OH it's just one cig, what can it hurt? It starts with one. Will power! You can get past this as long as you don't cave to the temptation to contact her. It's NOT worth it.
Author polaske93 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Posted December 8, 2014 I don't get how I'm degrdegrading myself, or how I am hurting myself. I really could care less about what she thinks of me now, or if I get a reply or any of that. I guess in a way it is being selfish, but like I said I just want to tell her that I wasn't just into het for sex. That I should've done more to show my affection. And that I'm glad that she broke up with me, and found someone better. She deserves it..
EmbeddedCortex Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 I don't get how I'm degrdegrading myself, or how I am hurting myself. I really could care less about what she thinks of me now, or if I get a reply or any of that. I guess in a way it is being selfish, but like I said I just want to tell her that I wasn't just into het for sex. That I should've done more to show my affection. And that I'm glad that she broke up with me, and found someone better. She deserves it.. She will think you are a pathetic loser, which you know you are not!!!! You will look back on this down the line and you will hate yourself. Trust me! We've all been there. We've all done some form this during our breakups, and we've always looked back and cringed. Please don't. No more. Stop contacting her, and start working on yourself, your self-esteem, your sense of self respect. You are worth more than this! 1
Chin Up Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 <sarcasm> ok, you made a good argument there. Go ahead and send it. Let us know how that goes. </sarcasm>
NopeNah Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 <sarcasm> ok, you made a good argument there. Go ahead and send it. Let us know how that goes. </sarcasm> 2nd this,but with No sarcasm. Do IT! I would also include a link to your user name here,so she can see just how much you DONT CARE! The heart wants, what it wants! You,my friend, her heart does not want! Sorry.
Author polaske93 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Posted December 8, 2014 I'm not going to go through with it.. I guess I posted this looking for justification from someone to tell me what I should or shouldn't do.. truth is it doesn't even matter anymore. I refuse to believe that I waneted to send her this message because I don't rerespect myself, or because I'm pathetic or any of that. I really love myself more now then I ever have. I could honestly care less if she thinks I'm a pathetic loser at this point. I know that I'm not, and that's what matters. I just wanted her to know that I really did love her.. Because she thought that too me she was just another girl to sleep with
Author polaske93 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Posted December 8, 2014 2nd this,but with No sarcasm. Do IT! I would also include a link to your user name here,so she can see just how much you DONT CARE! The heart wants, what it wants! You,my friend, her heart does not want! Sorry. That's cool, I really don't care if she wants me or not.. this wasn't about making her want me, or wishing that she still did.. caring about her as a person, and caring about her romantically are 2 different things
Danda Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 I'm losing track of how many times you say you don't care what she thinks and then explain that you want to text her because you can't stand the thought of her thinking X, Y and Z. That you can so blatantly contradict yourself so many times in such a small space is, to me, proof that you are not thinking clearly right now, which is the primary reason I would advise you to give it a couple days and see if this desire passes.
Author polaske93 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Posted December 8, 2014 You know.. you guys can simply say "I think it's a bad idea" without coming across as such *******s.. I'm saying I could care less if she thinks of me romantically or even if she thinks I'm a pathetic loser.. I do however care if she looks back and thinks that I just used her as a piece of meat.. I'm sorry for wanting to be a human being and actually express my thoughts and emotions towards another human being.. instead of trying to bottle up my emotions like a robot, because someone else told me that it's a good thing to do.. I get NC, and yes its a good idea to refrain from contact when grieving for a loss in a romantic way.. I am not grieving for her in a way that I miss her any longer...
Chin Up Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 Nobody is being "*******s". You're not getting the replies/validation you want to send it. If enough people are telling you it's a bad idea, it's a bad idea..think about it. Majority rules. You're not hearing what you want to hear and it's pissing you off. We're not going to coddle you and babysit you through bad ideas. You've gotten enough input from other people...so far everyone thinks it's a bad idea. IT IS. Last text I sent to my ex, I was ignored. That was enough. If someone is telling you to buzz off, do it. I know you don't like hearing it, but she's made it VERY clear that she's over and done with you..and then got to the point where she couldn't even be bothered to reply. At this point you're just creeping her the hell out with any further contact. She's told you many times that she does NOT want to hear from you. DON'T CONTACT HER. From a females prospective, If I ended things with a guy and for whatever reason I had to tell him to stop contacting me but he continued, to the point where I felt the need to ignore him, and he STILL continued to contact me..I'd start to feel stalked. In my mind he's not letting go and is not accepting that I do not want to talk to him. The only thing this will do is further freak her out. Sorry. Leave it alone. You're kicking a dead horse.
NopeNah Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 You know.. you guys can simply say "I think it's a bad idea" without coming across as such *******s.. I'm saying I could care less if she thinks of me romantically or even if she thinks I'm a pathetic loser.. I do however care if she looks back and thinks that I just used her as a piece of meat.. I'm sorry for wanting to be a human being and actually express my thoughts and emotions towards another human being.. instead of trying to bottle up my emotions like a robot, because someone else told me that it's a good thing to do.. I get NC, and yes its a good idea to refrain from contact when grieving for a loss in a romantic way.. I am not grieving for her in a way that I miss her any longer... look...text her...dont...either way she does NOT care! She''s snuggled up to her new guy reading those heartfelt text''s...with him looking on. She knows how you feel..she CHOOSES not to really care..again..sorry. It is what it is.
NopeNah Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 by the way...going to have to toughen that skin with a breakup.. It's the only way to get through it. 1
Danda Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 You know.. you guys can simply say "I think it's a bad idea" without coming across as such *******s.. I'm saying I could care less if she thinks of me romantically or even if she thinks I'm a pathetic loser.. I do however care if she looks back and thinks that I just used her as a piece of meat.. I'm sorry for wanting to be a human being and actually express my thoughts and emotions towards another human being.. instead of trying to bottle up my emotions like a robot, because someone else told me that it's a good thing to do.. I get NC, and yes its a good idea to refrain from contact when grieving for a loss in a romantic way.. I am not grieving for her in a way that I miss her any longer... My post was the only one after your last post prior to this one. Please do not lash out at me and call me a bitch when my post was not at all cruel, disrespectful or condescending. My post was also pointing out something to you that probably caught you off guard and struck a nerve, so I also forgive you, as an aside. Nobody is asking you to pretend like you don't feel anything, or not feel anything. I am also not accusing you of missing her romantically. But you do still care about what she thinks of you, and you have been contradicting yourself all up in this thread about that. If you had realized that, then you probably wouldn't have done so. So I am guessing it was a bit startling and stinging when it was pointed out to you. But I am hoping that you will let this revelation, and also your lashing out right now, as evidence that you are not clear-thinking or level-headed enough right now to make a decision in which you make yourself extremely vulnerable. Please wait just 48 hours and see if the feeling passes or changes at all. Most people go through this sort of thing after a hard break up, including volatile emotions, contradicting feelings and making a million excuses to keep initiating contact. This is fairly normal and we know that, most of us have been through it. That's why we are trying to give you support in genuinely move on. Nobody is judging you, we know it's very painful and confusing. It's okay. 1
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