how to go backwards?

[KindlyUnspoken23]

I got way too close to a guy way too quickly. I only really fell because he fell for me first, but that's not the point. He knows I like him, very much. He has told me that if he wasn't in his current life situation [he has a lot of personal/family stuff going on] that we would be in a relationship right now.

 

The problem is, I love spending the nights with him and when we kiss and cuddle and are intimate, but in between I don't get the "thinking about you" or the "i miss you" text messages. He's adding girls on fb [even though most of them are mutual friends], but I see them and think how much prettier they are than me and how he could probably have them in a second if he wanted to.

 

This is probably not possible, but how can I go backwards? Not necessarily not be into him, but not care when I don't get those text messages. Not get insecure when I see those girls. Maybe even learn how to trust again. He hasn't done anything to make me think I can't trust him, but I have issues due to a past relationship. He told me I have nothing to worry about, but he doesn't really help support that. Is there anyway I can just back off? Maybe find out if he truly does care or is scared to loose me?

[Danda]

I vote for you cooling your jets and backing off for a bit, but still be responsive and positive to him when he initiates contact with you.

 

You can't control what you feel, but you can give yourself space and also let him do a bit of chasing.

 

I find it a bit eyebrow-arcing that he says he would be in a relationship with you if it wasn't for family issues. What does that have to do with anything?

 

He has the time and energy to be physical with you, but not to text you a bit, so therefore he "would" date you but can't? Uh?

 

It would be one thing if hadn't said that and showed not interest in a relationship. Then it would at least be a pretty obvious FWB sort of thing.

 

But the fact that he hope-baited you like that is kinda sketchy.