Why are men so jealous, or is it just my man?

[alicia24]

My boyfriend is incredibly beautiful, smart, funny, and he just oozes with sex appeal. I my self am kinda cute and whatever. The thing is, my boyfriend is insanely jealous. We got in a huge blow up last night because this guy was pumping our gas and say bye to me in a flirty way and he was pissed. I on the other hand take stuff like that as a compliment. If a woman was flirting with my man(which happens a lot) I just think to myself that she wishes she could have him but he's mine. So why is it that men who really have it all going on are so effed up an jealous? Or is it just my man?

[Merin]

You percieve him one way.. he percieves himself another.

 

Your BF is insecure.. While You may see other girls flirting with him to be a compliment of sorts your BF sees things differently that when a guy is flirting with you (and especially in his presense) that it is showing a lack of respect for HIM.

[Groovy]

The guy I am dating is the same. He asks if guys were hanging out with me when he's not in the crowd I was with, I tell it like it is and don't let it make me feel possessed. Last night he asked if he can have a half naked women on his refridgerator because my girlfriend got a card of this hot muscled stud with no shirt that's been there for 6 months. It's a freakin' greeting card! I told him if he wants a half naked girl on his fridge I have no problem with that. He can even name her.

 

No one is perfect. I am keeping tabs on the jealousy that it doesn't get controlling or hurt anyone. Often times it is just a nuisance more than anything else. In the beginning I think it is important to show you care but address your feeling about the whole behavior. I don't keep anyone on a short leash and no one should do that to me.

[pseud]

You only list one incident, the gas station, as an example for your boyfriend's jealousy. Although this example suggests that your boyfriend may have some insecurity issues, it is not nearly enough to go on to provide an adequate assessment or opinion of your situation.

 

Do you often find yourself in conflict with your boyfriend over similar issues, and have you explained to him your stance on such issues?

 

To answer your question as to whether or not jealousy drips like sweat from all men, I would say no, it does not. Trust is a very important part of a relationship, and although some occasional hint of jealousy may be normal and acceptable, it can provide for some heated conflicts at times.

[Groovy]

Alicia how long have you dated him? It's not a good thing, ever and I agree with that. However I think many men get jealous. Some men it fades after a few months, some men it's a chronic nuisance and some men it's just the tip of the iceberg to a huge issue that will take control of our life where you or others lose physical safety. Just keep it in check over time and be aware of it. That way you will never allow it to escalate. Your in the drivers seat girl:)

[JoL]

The problem with insane jealousy is that it can turn into insane control. If he percieves someone or someplace as a threat, he may start to throw tantrums every time you want to hang out with your friends or go to work, school, wherever. It usually gets worse..not better. Just a warning for you. And although i cant tell from just from one incident how bad it is- if he does stuff like this often then i would say you need to point his jealousy out to him as being a problem for you. He needs to be aware that what he is doing is crossing your comfort level and boundaries.

 

Not all men are insanely jealous. I know men and women who are perfectly secure in their relationships with their partner and in the situation you described with the gas guy, would just laugh or make a joke about it...and i also know people who throw tantrums and get insanely jealous over ridiculous stuff..just like your boyfriend.

 

Nobody deserves to be treated with control and suspicion for no good reason. Hopefully you can work it out with your man before it gets worse.

[RecordProducer]

I believe that jealousy is innocent as long as we can control our partner's reactions with our actions. My BF is only jealous when I let him be. I want him to see that other people desire me too. He doesn't have a problem with that, but it certainly dances on his nerves and doesn't feel good. He never made a problem of it though.

On the other hand I never watch other men or flirt with them when he is around (or when he is not, but that's not the point now). I don't want him to think even for a moment that maybe some guy deserved my "butterflies' attention."

I am completely dedicated and show him at every moment that only he exists for me.

When he is around I make sure everyone understands that my heart and body belongs to him.

[blackendangel13]

Hope this helps a little.

 

Some people are jealous, but usually there are reasons behind why they act this way. My boyfriend's last relationship was a mess and his girlfriend cheated on him and lied to him a lot, so I see where it comes from. We got into a huge fight over my best friend (who is male) and hashed it out. I told him it was riduclous for him to be jealous and after talking it out he realized he was being stupid. It still flares up once in awhile but I think its all in how you handle both him and the situation. If he gets crazy over the gas-pumper just laugh it off and tell him the only one you want pumping for you is him. Jokes (as long as you are not laughing AT him) will ease his mind and reassure your commitment to him at the same time. Soon enough he will get comfortable in the relationship and it will not be as big an issue.