GSP21 Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 So I've been dating this girl for a couple weeks now and it is evident we really like each other. But I don't call her my girlfriend or anything... how do you "seal the deal"? Do you just ask straight up? Because that feels a little weird to me. I guess what I'm asking is how do you move from "dating exclusively" to "a relationship"?
Danda Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 In my bluntly honest opinion you should wait a little bit longer before making that move. If I had only been dating a guy for two weeks and he told me he wanted us to be an official serious relationship, I would be a little freaked out. There is no way he knows me well enough after just two weeks to have feelings that strong for me, so I would wonder why he is pushing for that so soon. A few bad possibilities would crop up in my mind. Do you know why you want this to be a serious relationship after just two weeks? Are you afraid that someone else might catch her interest, and hope that if you "seal the deal" then that can't happen? Or something. Please just remember that you can rush words but you can't truly rush feelings. People who believe that they have developed strong feelings in just two weeks are either love bombing, being love bombed, or don't understand the difference between infatuation and serious relationship material. Or a combination of all three, which is actually pretty common. What if you just told her how you feel? That's always okay and a good thing. It would be really nice and chill of you to tell her that you really like her. You could even playfully admit that you're hoping things will continue to develop with her (or however you want to phrase it, I suck with words). However, if you totally ignore all of this and ask her to be your serious girlfriend, anyway: Yes, ask her straight up. There is no other way to officially "seal the deal" than to communicate in a very clear, specific manner. If you're vague and make assumptions, you will run into problems.
Author GSP21 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Posted December 8, 2014 (edited) In my bluntly honest opinion you should wait a little bit longer before making that move. If I had only been dating a guy for two weeks and he told me he wanted us to be an official serious relationship, I would be a little freaked out. There is no way he knows me well enough after just two weeks to have feelings that strong for me, so I would wonder why he is pushing for that so soon. A few bad possibilities would crop up in my mind. Do you know why you want this to be a serious relationship after just two weeks? Are you afraid that someone else might catch her interest, and hope that if you "seal the deal" then that can't happen? Or something. Please just remember that you can rush words but you can't truly rush feelings. People who believe that they have developed strong feelings in just two weeks are either love bombing, being love bombed, or don't understand the difference between infatuation and serious relationship material. Or a combination of all three, which is actually pretty common. What if you just told her how you feel? That's always okay and a good thing. It would be really nice and chill of you to tell her that you really like her. You could even playfully admit that you're hoping things will continue to develop with her (or however you want to phrase it, I suck with words). However, if you totally ignore all of this and ask her to be your serious girlfriend, anyway: Yes, ask her straight up. There is no other way to officially "seal the deal" than to communicate in a very clear, specific manner. If you're vague and make assumptions, you will run into problems. Thanks very much for the detailed reply. - We've been "dating" for two weeks, but we've been friends (flirty friends）for over a month now. - Yes, I am concerned that some other guy will scoop her up. There is this other guy I know that likes her and actually follows her around sometimes. I'm pretty sure she doesn't really like him much and finds him annoying, but still... you never know. She's a pretty girl and I'd imagine several guys would be after her. - She is heading back to Korea for the Winter Break so I won't see her for ~3 weeks. I'm afraid some of the feelings may have worn off slightly by then. It might be better to ask while we're in the moment. But despite this, I think I will take your advice and wait longer then. It does feel a little soon. I guess I will just buy her a nice Christmas gift and just tell how how much I like her before she leaves. But the main point of my thread was HOW to ask a girl if the occasion arises, which you've kindly answered. Edited December 8, 2014 by GSP21
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