prettykat Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 Hi, I am new to this forum and need advice about a ridiculous decision I made last night... After four years of dating my boyfriend, his single ex-girlfriend is still relentlessly reaching out to him via text and at work in the shared office we work in (it's big, and all three of us are in different locations throughout the building). She always sends unsolicited updates about her life, and asks him personal questions about us as a couple. My boyfriend is not a huge texter, so his responses are always very vague. As all three of us have the same job, she has found ways to work alongside him. My boyfriend is always honest when he comes home, and tells me when he has had to spend a day of work with her. We have both had longgggg conversations about how I feel about this woman, and I know that my boyfriend is 100% committed to me. While he was away for work for two months this past summer, I was able to take time to visit him. During that visit, I snooped through his phone and found long threads of texts from her where she told my boyfriend that "she wished things were different between them." She added that she missed him, and wanted "the old *his name* back." We argued, and that weekend was filled with tension. I returned home and called his mother to seek her advice (we're close, and she knows about this ex-girlfriend.) My boyfriend's mother hesitated, and said, "She's been texting me too, but I haven't responded." I was furious that this idiot is now not only reaching for my man BUT HIS MOTHER?! *fuming* Sooo, last night after copious amounts of wine and tequila.... I grabbed my boyfriend's cellphone while he was sleeping and sent this woman a hate-filled BBM rant about how I REALLY felt about her. I called her pathetic, and accused her of not moving on from the past. As I wrote it, I read it over and decided that it was too brutal to send. I went to delete it, but because the BBM app keyboard is different than iPhone keyboard (because being drunk had 'nothing' to do with it), I ended up pressing SEND. I stared at his phone in stupidity, and my anger dissolved into "WTF do I do now?" I ended up deleting the thread, and blocked her contact info in a panic. I quietly returned his phone back to the bedside table, and passed out only to wake up this morning CRINGING. My question is, how in the hell do I approach this? I ended up texting her this horrible ranting drunken text from HIS phone... so, he'll know I went through it. And she is the type of b*tch that would show him the text, so I know the truth is the only direction I can go. He has EVERY right to be pissed, but I'm just sure how to broach the subject. UGH! Help :-S
Noproblem Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 Just tell him you were angry and drunk, tell him what you told us.. Ok show him this thread instead Be honest, and sincere 1
angel.eyes Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 You're anger is misplaced. At the end of the day, the issue isn't her. It's your boyfriend. For whatever reason, he hasn't shut this down, which is why she continues to text and reminisce about getting him back. If there were no hope, her efforts would have been redirected a long time ago. Plus obviously, he's hiding the full extent of their interactions from you. Another red flag. Deal with him, not her. He's the problem. 3
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