scatterd Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 My husband asked for divorce out of the blue about 5 weeks ago. He left for three weeks to work over seas. I do not know what is up with him but he has changed into a monster. He upsets the whole family and is blame shifting,bulling,and gas lighting me hes up one minute and down the next. I think he is trying to make it look like I was the reason we are breaking up.This mourning I asked him if he would find some place to stay that it is toxic and the kids and I don't need it. I told him for now he needs not be around the children he said oh you want to play it that way then he lunged at me grabbed my arms real hard and started to pull me near him. I pulled away and lost it I hit him back and said don't ever touch me never.I was going up the stairs and he was following me my daughter came out of the room so he started playing victim. At first I did not want this divorce but I can not take it no more I am loosing it. I think he is trying to get me to leave or is up to making me look like the problem. He was not abusive before but has totally changed at one time I had nothing but good things to say about him but the guy I married is gone.I wonder if he wants me to file first but not sure. What in the heck is wrong with him and why wont he leave until the divorce. I could see him staying if there was peace but he is emotionally abusive and mean.The children need space as I do. How do I keep him away from me and convince him to quit making rude comments. This is a night mare. I am loosing my temper and acting out now which I do not want. It is so funny how love can turn to resentment. If he is with someone else she can have him. He told me he knows he is depressed and needs help but he will get help when this is done. What? thanks you cant get help for us after 21 years. Who does that? What is wrong with him and why is he taking it all out on me? Is this mid life or what?
Arieswoman Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 scattered, I am sorry you are in this situation. Your husband sounds abusive and manipulative and I would bet any money he is seeing someone else. This situation is dangerous and you need to get out. Is there anywhere you could go or anyone you can stay with while you decide what to do? The kids don't need to see or hear any of this. According to what I have read Utah is a no-fault divorce state, but you have to be separated for 3 years to get a no-fault divorce. I think you should consult a solicitor/attorney to advise you. Good luck.
Author scatterd Posted December 7, 2014 Author Posted December 7, 2014 I have an attorney and was going to be nicer then him and give him a break until after holidays. I will get it going tomorrow now I am so shocked on how he has changed. I just wish he would go away. Maybe he thought I would beg for him to not divorce but no never. I asked my brother to come and get the children. The funny thing is these are one grown child and two grand children he is 46 and I am 52. You would think we would act like adults. He will say I belittle him the next thing you know he belittles me.He will say I am emotionally abusive then he does that.He does no scare me but I do think he is loosing it mentally. Now I am reacting and just will do my best to avoid him like the plaque. I swear I have never seen a person that acts so picked on and whiny. He has no compassion for anyone how can someone change so drastically though. I am far from perfect but I am caring and know when I am wrong. Like when I reacted back but he is not the man I knew. I think their is another woman and she can have him because she will get the same.She is doing me a favor is this is truly who hes become. I had the good one she can have this one.Just wait until the newness wears off and the fog is gone and everything has been split.They should have a great love then.Oh well.
beach Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 I'm sorry it's this way, hugs. Have you snooped to see what has changed for him? Start checking! Something inspired this massive change! Call the police if needed! Do not hesitate if he hurts you again. See an attorney for guidance.
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