deegee91 Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 My ex of 2 1/2 years broke up with me a month ago and asked to have no contact with me ever again a week ago. For the first three weeks of the breakup we got along fine, great actually. I was looking forward to being friendly with each other and it seemed like things were getting better between us. Part of the reason we broke up is because he felt I didn't respect his feelings so I never pressured him into getting back with me out of respect. We have always been very close and connected even during rough times but this is his first relationship and he has no idea how to set boundaries or communicate. There is a lack of trust and communication in our relationship because he likes to hide his emotions. He's a wonderful man just not ready or able to give me what I need at this point in his life. Anyway, now he feels like the healthiest thing to do after a break up is to have no contact so we can move on with our lives and that he's not coming back because "an ex is an ex for a reason" and he wants to be strong in his decision to break up. I know his friends are also pressuring him to let me go. I respected his wishes, we said an amicable goodbye. Two days later he messages me on Instagram to show me a funny picture. I am confused. If he wanted no contact for good, why is he doing this? How do I proceed?
Dontfindme Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 You stick to what he had previously decided - even when he cracks. Don't respond, and don't reach out on your own.
MousyBrown Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 He is probably missing you like crazy and desperately wants to reconnect. While he rationally knows that "no contact" is the right thing to do, it's also the hardest thing in the world to get through at first. I imagine going cold-turkey off of black tar heroin is a similar experience. But it must, I repeat, MUST be done. I'd say give it at least a solid month, maybe more if you think that's wise. The only contact I can see as useful is you telling him how long this "no contact rule" will be in effect. He may appreciate having a set amount of time that you two will be apart. It may make things more manageable.
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