Maggie4 Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 It has been 3 months since my ex and I had a fight and I ended it. It was one fight and nothing ugly. I have been trying to reconcile by getting the conversation started again. But my ex always takes a little over a week to reply. At first I replied second or third day, then I followed his lead and now I also take a week or two to reply. It takes us at least a month to exchange 4 messages. That means, I hear from him every two to three weeks. Conversation really dying. I ask a question and it takes a week to get an answer. Or he asks a question, and I can't answer until a week later. By that time the question becomes irrelevant. Feels like he is trying to fade out. I feel like he has lost interest and is just letting me down easy. Should I just stop replying? I know once I stop talking to him, I'll move on permanently. My feelings have faded during the 3 months of lukewarm contact. Maybe that's what he wanted? I really thought we had something good.
I'mBatman Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 Say you're tired of this once a week texting that is going nowhere and your going to stop contacting him. Then go NC. If it was something special like you thought he might come around. If he doesn't HIS LOSS right? Take what you can from this relationship and apply it to your future ones
Danda Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 If you know you will move on permanently if you stop talking with him, then why haven't you done so? If you have a take-it-or-leave-it feeling about him, then you should definitely stop responding, go no contact and move on, in my opinion. That you broke things off over "one fight and nothing ugly" then chances are that deep down you were just not feeling the relationship anymore, and the one fight presented as an excuse of sort to leave. But even in that kind of scenario, it isn't unusual for the dumper to question their own romantic value of the dumpee doesn't try hard to get them back. Please keep in mind, though, that your ex needs protect himself, heal up and move on, as well. That he takes forever to respond has no meaning in regards to how valuable you are as a romantic partner. He's just taking care of himself in his own way, and chances are he experienced a lot more pain than you did. If you feel this lukewarm about him, it would be cruel to keep talking with him, in case he's still not over you. Not only would it be best for you to move on, but if you really care about him as a fellow human being, you need to let him move on, too.
Author Maggie4 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Posted December 8, 2014 Danda, thanks for your reply. Yes, every relationship for me is take it or leave it, because romance is only a part of my passion in life. He is not my everything. So I haven't gone NC because I thought there was a possibility that he might still have feelings for me. Because I have read about so many stories of dumpees feeling hurt, I have been extra patient and understanding. I can only mother him for so long. I love him more than he ever loved me. I'll consider your advice to move on. Thanks.
Author Maggie4 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Posted December 8, 2014 Hi Batman, it isn't every day I get advice from a superhero. Thank you. Something's gotta give! I acted, before reading your post, so I didn't do it as smooth as you suggested. Instead, I said something to the effect that I just want to be friends. Oops! I didn't mean that! But it's done. Surprisingly, he replied immediately, not a week later, and said that I am hot and cold, that if we can talk about it, then it's never too late to work it out. I responded that I am not hot and cold, I am completely rational because I don't have feelings for him except as a friend. I did it again! I said things I don't mean! I also said I don't plan on seeing him again but I'll text him in a few months. So... I didn't do it quite right, but the end result is probably the same. We are in NC and I'll see about it next spring... or not.
Recommended Posts