frozengirl Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 I've been dating this one guy for almost a month, been on 3 going on 4 dates. But I've noticed that he hasn't made any moves on me, no hand holding while we're out, no kissing, or cuddling, just a hug when we say Hello and Goodbye. To me no move making tells me he isn't interested or just is perhaps too shy to try anything or maybe doesn't like doing public affection not sure. What do you think?
bachdude Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 I've been dating this one guy for almost a month, been on 3 going on 4 dates. But I've noticed that he hasn't made any moves on me, no hand holding while we're out, no kissing, or cuddling, just a hug when we say Hello and Goodbye. To me no move making tells me he isn't interested or just is perhaps too shy to try anything or maybe doesn't like doing public affection not sure. What do you think? You really like him, don't you? Maybe he is just being respectful. Maybe he got burned and is being cautious. Everyone is different and has a different sense of timing in these matters. Not sure I would really worry about it. A better sense of his interest might be how he treats you during the date. Is he attentive, being a good listener, taking good care of you, treating you sweetly, etc? Maybe just enjoy the process and let him set the pace.
40 Fonzarelli Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 He seems shy. Give him a sign you want to take things further.
fred123 Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 maybe hes like me. scared if he makes a move you will be uncomfortable and he will makenu feel uncomfortable and you will ignore him. better to be safe and keep things how they are instaed of ruining them. that was my biggest mistake
Ninjainpajamas Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 If he wasn't interested he probably wouldn't be going out on dates with you... He may be nervous about making a move, so you might have to take the lead or give him a solid sign about your interest because this sounds like a shy guy. The only exception is that he doesn't really think you are "dating" but going out as friends or acquaintances, but that's a very small chance unless you were just friends or he just thought you were "hanging out". 1
fred123 Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 If he wasn't interested he probably wouldn't be going out on dates with you... He may be nervous about making a move, so you might have to take the lead or give him a solid sign about your interest because this sounds like a shy guy. The only exception is that he doesn't really think you are "dating" but going out as friends or acquaintances, but that's a very small chance unless you were just friends or he just thought you were "hanging out". could be a high possibility that he thinks ur just friends hanging out. and he doesnt want to make a move for fear of making you uncomfortable and you then acting mean to him.
greenman77 Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 If he's gone on 3 dates with you already and going on 4 then trust me he is definitely interested! Trust me, I'm a super shy guy myself. I've been on 4 dates with this girl I like and I still haven't kissed her yet. I'm just too damn shy! We did hold hands and got really cuddly at the movies on our last date and she kind of initiated it (you know, the "I'm cold" act) which was really nice! Good luck!
GSP21 Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 He just sounds like a super shy guy like myself. Honestly, you might have to make the first move. Hold his hand and lean your head on his cheek or something. If he still doesn't do anything, just swoop in and kiss him yourself.
Danda Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 Try giving him a really obvious green light. In my observations with my female friends, and in the little dating experience I've had, myself, it seems like a lot guys fall into one of two categories: 1. Touching you way too much right off the bat because, either they're pushy/entitled and just want to get in your pants ASAP before you realize that you're not interested, or they're secretly inexperienced and trying to be "alpha" males (or whatever else they read on a PUA article) in the hopes that it will 'seduce' you into going on more dates with them. 2. Insanely shy/nervous guys who are afraid that if they accidentally brush up against you, you might pepper spray their ass and call the police. There really are not hardcore dating guidelines in most of western society anymore, so most guys are just like, winging it in the dark and hoping they get it right. So it helps to give them some clear signs, both clear boundaries to help them detect what you don't want, but also clear green lights to give them that last ounce of courage they need to make a move. Maybe the next time he drops you off, just stand there smiling, lean forward a little and look at his mouth and then his eyes. Basically convey I would really like you to kiss me right now, thanks with your expression and body language. If he still doesn't kiss you then I'd guess he's either not really into it or has some kind of deep insecurity holding him back.
Author frozengirl Posted December 7, 2014 Author Posted December 7, 2014 You really like him, don't you? Maybe he is just being respectful. Maybe he got burned and is being cautious. Everyone is different and has a different sense of timing in these matters. Not sure I would really worry about it. A better sense of his interest might be how he treats you during the date. Is he attentive, being a good listener, taking good care of you, treating you sweetly, etc? Maybe just enjoy the process and let him set the pace. What does being attentive mean? How do I know if he's taking good care of me and treating sweetly? What are the signs I can't tell.
Rydo Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 You could always kiss him? Different guys will have different levels of confidence with that kind of thing. I always have a rule that I get a kiss on a first date regardless of where we are etc. I always guide it to a place where I know i can make a move.
smackie9 Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 Me personally (being an aggressive woman) would lose interest real fast because I like passion, confidence, and strong connection, chemistry. Hun you have a guy that has no game, and is clueless about how to make moves, and when to. You will probably have to be the one to get things started, but that's providing you feel a strong connection with him, not just because you like him. If that isn't your style, he isn't your type and wasting everyone's time. 1
bachdude Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 What does being attentive mean? How do I know if he's taking good care of me and treating sweetly? What are the signs I can't tell. Well, if a guy likes a woman, usually he is trying extra hard to impress. He will listen carefully to her, watch to make sure she has what she needs, be extra polite and courteous so she feels treated well. But I suppose a guy may just be a nice guy and do those things. But if he is acting this way, when you sense he is trying to make a good impression, and is treating you well, it is a good indication that he is interested in being more than friends. That is what I was thinking.
bachdude Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 Me personally (being an aggressive woman) would lose interest real fast because I like passion, confidence, and strong connection, chemistry. But it's only been three dates! These things may take time to develop.
deathandtaxes Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 Maybe you're not sending the right body language? Do you flirt, touch, get inside his personal space? Does he do the same to you? If there's no green light from the lady, I'm not gonna try anything. It's sheer awkwardness to engage in anything physical when the signs are not there.
Author frozengirl Posted December 7, 2014 Author Posted December 7, 2014 Well him and I just hang out and talk, I don't try to make any moves because what if I do and he's like "why are you doing that?" or he feels uncomfortable or something ya know? I've gone on previous dates with other guys where we'd hang out just talking, laughing having a good time then the guy would hold my hand or cuddle me that made me so happy. But I don't think I have them any signals they did it on their own.
deathandtaxes Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 Well him and I just hang out and talk, I don't try to make any moves because what if I do and he's like "why are you doing that?" or he feels uncomfortable or something ya know? And this could be why *he* hasn't done anything...
losangelena Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 Well him and I just hang out and talk, I don't try to make any moves because what if I do and he's like "why are you doing that?" or he feels uncomfortable or something ya know? I've gone on previous dates with other guys where we'd hang out just talking, laughing having a good time then the guy would hold my hand or cuddle me that made me so happy. But I don't think I have them any signals they did it on their own. I don't think you need to "make moves," necessarily, but men DO sometimes need encouragement in this area. Do you touch his shoulder or arm when you talk and laugh? Do you find excuses to touch him casually, on the knee or on the back? Even men who are not particularly interested in you will not look at your cross-eyed if you touch them like this (it's friendly, and flirty, and by-and-large harmless). But for a guy who IS interested and maybe trying to gauge your interest, it's a HUGE green light. 1
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