cereal_dater Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 (edited) Been dating this girl for a while. Getting to the point where she was going to meet my parents before the Holidays. Today an ex-coworker randomly messaged her on facebook inviting her over tonight. They are going to smoke weed and drink, and she's going to "sleep in the spare bedroom". She's hung out with him in a group setting but never alone (since we've been together anyways). Her female friend has had sex with him and he has a player reputation. She did invite me last minute, but I don't smoke or drink. Eff that crap. When we first started dating, I saw a text convo between them, the context was "Why don't you come over to smoke and we'll hook up". She swore her girlfriend sent the texts as a joke. I told her we're done without question if she follows through with the plans. She played the standard "now I can't have friends?" and "Eww I've known him forever and am not attracted to him" cards. Remained adamant that she is going to his house and is driving there as I type. Am I absolutely correct for dumping her? Edited December 7, 2014 by cereal_dater
BC1980 Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 There is no universal right or wrong answer to dumping someone most of the time. In your situation, you have to decide what your limits are. You have to decide what your boundaries are. What she is doing is making you uncomfortable, and she disregards your feelings. That is very understandable, considering what she is doing. The majority of people would feel uncomfortable with a partner sleeping at the same a house with a member of the opposite sex. I would never do that to a person I was dating. I'm sure there are some people who are more lenient and don't care, so she can find someone who feels that way. Furthermore, she smokes weed and drinks, which you do not. Stuff like that can cause friction down the line.
changchewsoon Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 If I am dating, I will not get myself in such a situation like your girlfriend did and causes my partner to feel insecure and uneasy especially if the person that text me to go over wanted to hook up. Everyone is entitled to have friends, but we must know where to draw the line.
Arieswoman Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 cereal dater, I don't know whether it's because I'm British or because I'm a - hmmm - "mature" person but I really don't get this "having friends" business when you're in a relationship.. IMO if you are in a committed relationship with this girl she has no business whatsoever, staying overnight in another man's company without you. In addition to that she's a pothead and I don't think your parents would be impressed with that. Well done to you for staying drug-free ! Yes, you were right to dump her. I am sorry that this has happened but at least now you can see her for who she really is. You sound like a nice guy with principles and you deserve a nice girl who can meet your standards. Good luck. x
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