luvflower Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 Hi again LS. several months later I decided to move fwd with leaving my fiancé. I told him months ago that I felt the separation was necessary but there were logistics that kept us under the same roof. We're now living separately and I feel more peace now than I felt when i was with him. Its only been 3 weeks but I'm almost certain that neither of us will make contact... every again... We had to make contact one to sort out a few belongings but now nothing. The longer I go without speaking to him the better I feel. Yes I loved him but his immature ways of dealing with his anger and jealousy pushed me away. My hope for myself right now is that he doesn't catch me off guard by connecting me again. Right now neither of us is making contact which is a good thing. And in addition to many other things, he blames me for us breaking up. I'll take blame for moving separately because he's, that was my idea clearly and i won't deny that. I just don't to be caught off guard or sucked into feeling for him again if he contacts me. I'm proud of myself for going 3/weeks NC. Wdon't want the best time frame to know that I'm truly practicing NC w/ fidelity?
surferchic Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 (edited) Hey luvflower. I'm not an expert on no contact but I don't think there's a specific amount of time for the heart to heal. It's relative to each person and situation. I will say that because you've told him a long time ago that you wanted out of the relationship you had the opportunity to start healing. If he is not making contact its probably because he is really angry, maybe even bitter but still missing the relationship or missing the control(I read some of your other that in the marriage section). He needs time to heal also and to change his ways if that will ever happen... Is always sad when people break up but in some cases it's very necessary... Like in your case it's VERY necessary for your own sanity and for him to see that you mean what you say and that you really do love YOURSELF , which I hope you do. I know it's not easy but over time things will get easier, i.e. dealing with your emotions Stay strong but not bitter. Just curious did you two exchange any words as you prepared to leave? Edited December 7, 2014 by surferchic
surferchic Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 Its amazing how similar our situations are... I have just started preparing to leave my guy. He is not happy and we both have been avoiding being around each other in silence much. It's hard but its probably best...
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