tiki Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 Do you guys share an apartment? Or is it his/your home?
Merin Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 Originally posted by Stone hummm... I just got a new vocie mail with him stating that he isn't cheating on my and I am crazy I've decided not to call back and let his arse stir for awhile. He ALSO accused me of throwing him out. Don't know how he got that impression I was the one who packed my bags and went to my mom's house I don't believe he really got that impression Stone.. I think this is just something he likes to say to justify his crappy behaviour.. make it about YOU know what I mean? He says you threw him out.. essentially like so what other choice did I (he) have? Don't let him make this about YOU..
Author Stone Posted March 21, 2005 Author Posted March 21, 2005 Yes we share an apartment and I busted my arse all weekend on the baby's new room, ,cleaning ect and I want to go home.. I am wondering if I should or just stay at mom's. If he "claims" I threw him out then I will have no problem doing so
Merin Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 Originally posted by Stone Yes we share an apartment and I busted my arse all weekend on the baby's new room, ,cleaning ect and I want to go home.. I am wondering if I should or just stay at mom's. If he "claims" I threw him out then I will have no problem doing so Go home and be comfortable.. this is your home Girl.. and your childrens home. IF he wants to say you threw him out, then all him.. let him go stay somewhere else! You've got 3 people to take care of, damn him!
tiki Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 Who lived in the apartment first? Or did you two get it together?
Author Stone Posted March 21, 2005 Author Posted March 21, 2005 We got it togeather, our lease is up soon so HOPEFULLY I will be renewing it alone
blind_otter Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 I don't see how you threw him out if you packed your things and moved in with YOUR mother!! What a weirdo.
Mr Spock Posted March 22, 2005 Posted March 22, 2005 Stone, I do sympathize with you because you're pregnant, and it must be scary. However, I can't sit here and pretend I'm suprised. I've known you were dating a loser for quite some time, and you're just figuring it out now? It comes down to the issue of "is this man going to make my life easier, or harder?" Sure, changing a diaper while you sleep is nice. But it doesn't cancel out all the other garbage he brings to the table.
CurlyIam Posted March 22, 2005 Posted March 22, 2005 Here's why I gave you the "bad" advice. In a perfect world where everyone does what they should do, I'd tell you to kick his ugly butt out of your life. The question is: "Can you?" Are you strong enough to do so at this particular moment? I think we should all stop lying to ourselves and see what it is that WE CAN ACTUALLY DO about our lives. Can you kick him out, Heather? Are you strong enough to do so? And if you do, how will all this make you feel? Will you lose weight? Will you cry all nights? Will you still love your baby? Please feel free to burn me for what I've said... but she is going back and forth with this relationship for ages. And as I've seen it, she can't let it go. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, sometimes living with the bad guy is much better to one than living without him... FOR A WHILE, 'til she gets stronger. I have never been pregnant, but for instance when I am in trouble with school or with my friends I feel this deep need of help. I feel vulnerable and scared and I need someone to hold me. Maybe I'm the one who's week. But I do what I have to do to get better. HEather... THINK VERY HARD and take a decision once and for all. I think that right now change is bad for you. Just my humble opinion. But either with him or without him, MAKE UP YOUR MIND once and for all and STICK to IT. He's not perfect, he may be a scumbag, but news flash here!!!! Most men are!!! Honey, I'm not telling you to sell yourself short here, just accept that you have flaws, I have flaws, everybody had flaws and Mr. Nice Guy most probably is on vacation off this planet.
Author Stone Posted March 22, 2005 Author Posted March 22, 2005 I know dear your one of the people on here that knows me the best anyway. Sticking it out for another 3 months is also a decission that I have to make now. I probably should for financial reasons ect. I feel like I should use him and drain every friggin dime out of his arse so I can go on maternity leave, make sure the baby has what she needs take the summer off with my son ect.. I can't do that without him so I know what you are saying.
CurlyIam Posted March 22, 2005 Posted March 22, 2005 I don't mean financially. You're so smart, Stone, money will not be a problem for you. Not on the long run. I do NOT mean financially. I mean emotionally. Emotional stability. IF you are strong enough, you should take some of the advice the LSers gave you. Just be sure to take a good look at what you CAN do. If you've stopped loving him, obsessing about him doesn't make much sense, does it? Money... it comes and it goes. If you get a weathy man, it doesn't mean he'll stay rich in 10 years time. I've so seen this around me. Not that those 10 years won't be fun . In the end, though, you end up paying for it. One way or the other. So just be honest to yourself and think about what would make you happy and tranquil. Try to have some kind of tranquility around you, Heather, at all costs. YOu need to be happy and CALM. Love, Curly
Lonestar Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 Originally posted by Stone Gosh I'm still a mess, I THINK that greg is cheating I've left him AGAIN and he doesn't care. I am trying to maintain no contact but am turning in to a psycho bitch because I want awansers.. I want my home back and I want to know WTF he is going to di with the baby if anything. I swear my worst nightmear has come true. I've lost weight due to depression and I've cried enough to make a small pond Stone, I am so sorry. My ex-husband emotionally abandoned me when I was pregnant, and left repeatedly for days at a time. He came back out of guilt and pity until he'd leave again. My hormones were raging, I wanted answers too, I felt like I couldn't leave him alone b/c I couldn't accept that a man wouldn't be there for a woman who was pregnant with his child. There are some very cruel and selfish immaure people out there. It's hard to accept that you chose to be with someone like that and his baby is inside you. What woman can accept that???? It's the most horrible type of rejection a woman could ever face and only those that have been there can understand. My ex walked away for good two weeks after the baby was born and filed for divorce shortly afterward. I still have problems accepting the fact it happened. I like to find excuses and reasons in my head for his cowardly behavior, but logically I know it's b/c he's a complete loser incapable of responsibility and true intimacy. Sweetie, you're gonna be ok. After the baby is born, it will take a long time to heal, but you don't need a man like that in your life. He's worthless. I'm not sure how far along you are right now, but if you need to keep him around until after the baby is born, do what you need to do. If not, get rid of him now. Don't blame any of this on your hormones. Yes, they're out of control, but a true man would support you through this, not hurt you. ((((((hugs))))))
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