Maggie223 Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 Need some advice, I have been dating my BF 8 years and he has not taken our relationship to the next level, we are both in our 30's...Do you think he could be a commitment phobe?????? any suggestions
ReluctantRomeo Posted March 22, 2005 Posted March 22, 2005 It's possible, yes. What about other classic symptoms? Does he finish things he starts? Do you have the push-pull "tango" thing in your relationship?
Maggie223 Posted March 22, 2005 Posted March 22, 2005 He really doesn't have any other symptoms...well maybe none that I am aware of, but we have been together so long and everytime I bring (I always have to bring it up) the future up he says he's not sure about marriage, he is a procuct of divorce and looks at marriage as negative. He wants to live together before the next step. I hear so many things that I don't know what to do...People say live together and be happy or move on and find someonethat wants marriage.......well I guess I just have to figure it out...Relatoinships are so complicated!!!
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 22, 2005 Posted March 22, 2005 You'll need to determine if its commitment in general he's afraid of, or if he just doesn't want to commit to you. It could be a simple case of him becoming comfortable with the relationship how it is, and sees no point in changing it. Have you talked to him about it, and about what it is you want from this relationship? What was his reaction?
ReluctantRomeo Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 Whatever he's afraid of, you're sure taking it slow. 8 years?!?
Cecelius Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 For some people. marriage is not the goal or really a goal to worry about at all -- it doesn't make them afraid of anything. He may just not be marriage minded.
Hund1976 Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 If you're with a guy for 8 years he should know whether or not he wants to marry you. What is he waiting for? A senior citizen discount at the chapel?
HoldOn Posted March 24, 2005 Posted March 24, 2005 8 years is enough for him to decide. If YOU want marriage, you'll have to leave him to get it. Don't let him decide that your goals won't be reached. I'd say tell him how you feel, give him a dealine (6 months?) and if he STILL hasn't decided then find someone who shares your values. I don't believe in committment phobia. I think if he were really "into you" he would overcome his "phobia" and marry you.
paradox Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 i totally agree with holdon. He takes you forgranted.
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