The World Didn't Stop For My Broken Heart!

[Illusion24]

You have to learn in life that school, emotional relationships, and family can yes affect your out come but you should learn to separate the 3...People are different and sometimes a little so superficial...Realistically do you think wishing good luck really works??? NO his hard nights staying up studying is what works!!! Though it makes him "feel" better when she does say "good luck babe"... A break is a break no matter how you see it...she wants her space and EC you have your space...what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!! Lo que esta para ti nadie te lo qita...

[Pocky]

Why do you have to have a complete break and no contact if you're not really breaking up because you expect to be back together in four months?

 

Why can't you just say, "Hey - I'm sad. My whole life revolves around you and it depresses me and I'm unhappy. There's four months until you move here and I can't just keep sitting around missing you while you're having fun and enjoying school. I think we should date other people. I think we should go out and have fun and do whatever we want for the next four months and then when you move here we can get back into a serious relationship if that's what we both want."

 

Maybe I just don't understand something - You love him. He loves you. You both want to be together, but the distance is just too much right now - is that not what the issue is? If so then why can't you just loosen the ties of the relationship a bit so you can enjoy yourself too and plan to get serious again in four months? Why do you have to completely stop talking to someone that's been your life for over a year? You're not trying to move on away from him, are you?

[EC]

Why can't you just say, "Hey - I'm sad. My whole life revolves around you and it depresses me and I'm unhappy. There's four months until you move here and I can't just keep sitting around missing you while you're having fun and enjoying school. I think we should date other people. I think we should go out and have fun and do whatever we want for the next four months and then when you move here we can get back into a serious relationship if that's what we both want."

 

I just wrote him this in an e-mail and so waiting to see what he has to say.

[tanbark813]

I have to agree with moimeme on this one. EC, do what you gotta do, but IMHO, I think you're making a mistake.

 

When I was with my ex I only saw her on weekends. Mondays (or whatever day of our time together was the last day I saw her) I was always depressed. It's tough emotionally to spend a lot of time together and then suddenly be prevented from seeing each other. A lot of it can be explained neurochemically as well. It's basically a slight oxytocin withdrawal when he leaves after the weekend.

 

I know it's tough on you, but if he loves you--and it sounds like he does--then I guarantee he's feeling a lot of the same s***. He doesn't have the best of both worlds. Yeah, he might go out with his friends, but my money says that a big reason why he does that is to deal with being away from you.

 

If he wasn't going to move back for another year or two, then I can see taking a break, but 4 months?? That's nothing. You've already been dealing with the distance for a year, what's 4 more months?

 

You have to do what's right for you, of course, but just keep in mind that whatever decisions you make do affect him as well. Are you happier now? Is the peace of mind you might get from a break worth hurting your bf to the point he may pull away from you altogether?

[EC]

Good point TB..my answer to that is I just don't know..I'm really confused. I really wish I had a crystal ball...

[Merin]

Well I can't say if this was a mistake or not EC.. only you know that for certain.

 

I will say that I do feel badly for your BF.. because in so many ways I think you blindsided him. I think it's always the people that hurt the most in these kinds of things who have been "set free" without really understanding why, and sometimes without any real warning.

 

As a lot of people here already know, I am someone who just doesn't believe in *breaks* that is just my opinion of course.. but to me when you're telling him NC.. when he hasn't really done anything *wrong* so to speak.. his guilt is in living his life EVEN when he isn't with you, having other interest and friends.. and you've told him that he isn't loosing you that this is a *break* but then saying NC... well thats just a mixed message IMO.

 

You're both still very young EC.. and maybe this really is the best thing for both of you at this time... BUT I'm saying at least be fair about it.. don't lead him to believe that this is a *break* when actions of saying NC is kind of screaming this is for good...

[EC]

Well I can't say if this was a mistake or not EC.. only you know that for certain.

 

I will say that I do feel badly for your BF.. because in so many ways I think you blindsided him. I think it's always the people that hurt the most in these kinds of things who have been "set free" without really understanding why, and sometimes without any real warning.

 

As a lot of people here already know, I am someone who just doesn't believe in *breaks* that is just my opinion of course.. but to me when you're telling him NC.. when he hasn't really done anything *wrong* so to speak.. his guilt is in living his life EVEN when he isn't with you, having other interest and friends.. and you've told him that he isn't loosing you that this is a *break* but then saying NC... well thats just a mixed message IMO.

 

You're both still very young EC.. and maybe this really is the best thing for both of you at this time... BUT I'm saying at least be fair about it.. don't lead him to believe that this is a *break* when actions of saying NC is kind of screaming this is for good...

 

 

I know but I'm hurting too...I just don't know what to do? I'm so confused.

[IhavenoFREAKINclue]

Confusion comes with the territory. Obviously you felt strong enough about the issue to address it to your BF. Sometime you have to be a little selfish to understand what you really want. In this case you want EC time. Do something for yourself and don't listen to people telling you that your being selfish. Sometimes you have to be to finally be happy.

[Merin]

Originally posted by EC

I know but I'm hurting too...I just don't know what to do? I'm so confused.

 

Breaking up is never fun or easy EC.. even IF you know it's the *right thing* to do..

 

I understand you're hurting but it's for different reasons than his...

 

All I'm saying is look at the friendship you have/had with him to begin with.. put aside the romantic relationship part of things for a moment.. Being honest with him means being honest with YOU first.

 

IF a break up is really what you're wanting EC then suck up the fear and be honest about this.. don't mislead yourself or him out of your own fear.. it isn't fair to keep someone hanging while you attempt to figure out if you've made the right decision.. do you see what I'm saying? IF the situation was reversed.. this would eat you up EC.. not knowing what is okay and what isn't.. can you call or should you not... see what I'm saying?

 

One more thing to think about... IMO break ups that sometimes hurt the most are the ones when you've lost not only your lover.. but your best friend.. the one you used to be able to call anytime, the one who used to support you when you needed it, encourged you when you needed it.. and had your back no matter what happend..

 

Everything has changed in a matter of a moment EC... and honestly he doesn't even know whats okay and what isn't.. he's heard you say you want a *break* but not to contact you anymore... if that doesn't tell someone "You've lost me" Then honestly I guess I don't know what does...

[Merin]

Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue

Confusion comes with the territory. Obviously you felt strong enough about the issue to address it to your BF. Sometime you have to be a little selfish to understand what you really want. In this case you want EC time. Do something for yourself and don't listen to people telling you that your being selfish. Sometimes you have to be to finally be happy.

 

Just to go on record.. I'm not saying that EC is being selfish in breaking up with her BF.. IF this is what she felt she needed to do to be happy.. then that is what she needed to do.

 

What I'm saying is.. EC needs to be clear.. while breaking up when you're not happy isn't IMO selfish.. keeping someone else hanging so they don't really know or understand where they fit into your life anymore is selfish.

[EC]

Hey babe,

 

Wow, um I don’t even know where to begin? So many thoughts are running through my head and they make no sense and I’m trying to figure it all out and it’s hard. I guess I will start from the beginning of when I started feeling this. Well, I have always had a problem with the long distance and I have been trying so hard to deal with it thinking it would get easier but It hasn’t. It has become even worse.

This week you came down and I swear I fell in love all over again. I was so happy. But then you left again and I swear a piece of me was ripped out. I remember I sat in my bed and I had absolutely nothing to do. I didn’t want to do anything. I was just staring at the ceiling. The next day I went to work and everything was so blah, I just couldn’t function without you next to me. And I thought to myself, my god even without you here I have revolved my whole life and happiness around you. I freaked out. And its like its not healthy because you seem to function just fine without me, I mean I know you miss me but it seems worse for me for some reason. But its always felt like that. And I know you’ve tried and I know you’ve done everything but for some reason I can’t get over that and so I decided I need time to be happy with me again. I need time to be happy with me before I can be happy with someone else. I need time to hang out with me again. I shouldn’t have to depend on a guy to be the center of my happiness. Does that make sense? Because it does in my head lol.

Then I started thinking (yeah I think a lot) that I have been your longest relationship and that how can you truly appreciate me without having something to compare me to. To seriously compare me to. So I thought you could take this break to have fun, with out having to worry about me, without having to worry about consequences to your actions, to just go nuts and let it out of your system and then when you move down see what happens with us. Am I nuts for this I dunno? But its just what I was thinking.

I loveyou, I am madly and completely in love with you and in some crazy way I feel as if I am doing this to make us better. I also can’t take the long distance anymore. I can’t. even though I trust you a hundred percent I’m still staying up at night wondering what your doing, whos there, whats going on. I hate that I can’t be there. I’m jealous I can’t be there. I hate that the week after you left all I got were ‘check-in’ phone calls. “Hey I’m going here ok bye.” I feel like if I didn’t talk to you in forever. I can’t have a relationship like that. And I didn’t want to say anything because then I would feel like if you were only calling me because I said something u know? Its driving me crazy but my love for you is what is telling me to hold out.. I think it would be easier on me if I just didn’t have to hear about all the things your doing, or how your going out, a break. So yeah those are all the things running through my mind. I know I’m dramatic but that’s me. So I was thinking I have a couple months before you come down and I would like to take those months as a little break from all of this for a while. I want … but don’t want no contact at all but I know if I need a break I really need a break and that means no contact even if it kills me. So hopefully this explained things better, if it confused you more I’m sorry. You can write back with your outtake on this..but if you have more questions I doubt I can answer them without confusing you more. I don’t know how this break thing works either but we’ll call it as we see it. So its not that my feelings have changed or that its someone else. I don’t think your losing me. I doubt a break can break us up..I hope. As of right now I’m just going to focus on me for a while, would like if you did the same. I love you Ralph.

 

 

 

This is what I wrote to him...I am still awaiting his response. I don't know what i am doing or if I make sense...

 

 

A lot of you have made good points on both parts.

 

I am torn

 

I'm just kinda waiting now to see what he writes back?

[Missromantic]

Hi there,

 

I have just your post and I can say that I feel so sorry for your man! He must be hurting like hell! I mean as Merin said he couldn't have been prepared for this "break" as you call it and he is probably now feeling down and hurt wondering why and what has he done to you? I think if you still love him as you said why can't you be honest with him! I cannot agree with what IHAVENOFREAKINGCLUE advises to be selfish! that's wrong!!!! This guy has got feelings for you and he has a heart! You can't just say I want no contact with you to avoid it all! If you feel confused and you need time to think say it to him! Try to make it the least painful for him! I mean he is in the middle of his tests! As someone mentioned he has no choice but go out with his friends so he can deal with the pain! Men don't have an easy time dealing with painful emotions like us women who talk to their girfriends! I cannot understand how somebody can be so heartless and tell you be selfish in this situation! It seems to me that IHAVENOFREAKINCLUE is telling you to be like her so she doesn't have to feel bad about herself! I feel bad for the guy who was with her! Please be a better person and be understanding of your guy's feelings! He is hurting I am sure! We all come here feeling desparate and sad and hurt because our loved ones wouldn't tell us what exactly do they mean by "break"! We are so desparate for any sign from them! You are tortuting him by not telling him! Of course he is going to try to call you! You say you still love him! Are you trying to get a reaction out of him? As some of the people here said it will affect him so much that he will not be the same anymore! You are confused! That's fair enough but think about how would YOU feel if you were in his shoes! A relationship is about two people not only about one, me and my needs! You would probably be here asking everyone for help and feeling hurt because he hasn't told you why he needs break, he is not answering your calls! you are in the middle of your exam. you can't concentrate because you are hurting so much! It's true that if you don't feel like you can wait for him then don't! Don't string him along! You must know what you want! You will loose him and then you will realise but it'll be late so if you don't want to loose him completely treat him with respect and consideration for his feelings and make it the least painfulf for him now! Communicate and don't hide yourself! If you need space from him, tell him so and give him a time frame! Don't let him just wonder blindly around wondering how long is it going to take you until you make up your mind that you want him again.. You say you are hurting as well! I understand that! But imagine his pain not knowing at all what is going on!

 

Miss romantic

[Missromantic]

Hi I have just read your letter to him. That's a very good thing you have done! You are trying hard to explain yourself to him! You are trying to be honest about your feelings and you are trying to make him understand! You set a time frame so you can now have a couple of months! It's good for him to know the limit! You might receive a couple of phone calls from him because he is in love with you and it's going to be hard for you! I am sure he will respect your decision but be understanding that he might call sometime! Don't blame him for that! You said to him that you might not be able to answer any more of his questions! I think he might come up with some questions but try your best to answer them! Don't just ignore them thinking NC rule was set! If you still love him like you said in the letter and you are taking this break mainly becasue of the distance then I don't see the problem why shouldn't you be able to answer his questions. I am still wondering though whether you are taking this break because of the distance... I mean you said it yourself that when you told him that you need a break you were expecting him to call you... It seems to me like you are trying to make him react! It sees to me that the distance made you feel neglected and you are loning for more attention and love! Am I right? The reason why I am asking is because I have experienced two long-term long-distance realtiosnhips so I kind of understand all the reasons behind your decision. Don't be so harsh on yourself.. if you still love him and you think you would like him back when he comes after the 4 months why don't you leave the door open for him a little? Why closing it? Because he could turn round and walk away.. but that's the risk you are taking now I guess. You are saying if he walks away then it wasn't meant to be! It seems to me that the way you are dealing with your love and your relationship is quite strange! I mean if I still loved him but needed a break, I don't think I would like to risk loosing him and imagine him meeting another girl! But I guess you said you almost want him to experience more! It looks to me that you are asking for air to breathe and you want your boyfriend to become challenge? Am I right? have you reached the point in your relationship that you are too sure about him? I am just trying to understand you because I was in quite a similar situation like you with my ex-finace! It was weird because I kept telling him why don't you go out, flirt with other women? I wanted him to make me feel jelous, I felt too sure... I wanted to feel the challenge! and it was a long-distance realtionship also!

 

I was like you - confused.. not managing the distance well.. in love but not sure he was the one.. I understand you in a way and that's why I am telling you to treat this guy with heart becasue I didn't and I regret it now so much! I lost a guy who was caring and loving! He told me after some years when I left him that I treated him like a **** and that I didn't appreciate him and that he has a new girl who does! I can tell you it hurt me to hear that! I was the one who left but it hurt me that he had this kind of memory of me because he was one of the most special and loving people I have met in my life! His opinion about me mattered to me actually!

 

I hope I could help you to understand yourself a little bit more! Let's hope he will answer well! Your letter is kind so I think it will help him!

 

Miss romantic

[EC]

Hi I have just read your letter to him. That's a very good thing you have done! You are trying hard to explain yourself to him! You are trying to be honest about your feelings and you are trying to make him understand! You set a time frame so you can now have a couple of months! It's good for him to know the limit! You might receive a couple of phone calls from him because he is in love with you and it's going to be hard for you! I am sure he will respect your decision but be understanding that he might call sometime! Don't blame him for that! You said to him that you might not be able to answer any more of his questions! I think he might come up with some questions but try your best to answer them! Don't just ignore them thinking NC rule was set! If you still love him like you said in the letter and you are taking this break mainly becasue of the distance then I don't see the problem why shouldn't you be able to answer his questions. I am still wondering though whether you are taking this break because of the distance... I mean you said it yourself that when you told him that you need a break you were expecting him to call you... It seems to me like you are trying to make him react! It sees to me that the distance made you feel neglected and you are loning for more attention and love! Am I right? The reason why I am asking is because I have experienced two long-term long-distance realtiosnhips so I kind of understand all the reasons behind your decision. Don't be so harsh on yourself.. if you still love him and you think you would like him back when he comes after the 4 months why don't you leave the door open for him a little? Why closing it? Because he could turn round and walk away.. but that's the risk you are taking now I guess. You are saying if he walks away then it wasn't meant to be! It seems to me that the way you are dealing with your love and your relationship is quite strange! I mean if I still loved him but needed a break, I don't think I would like to risk loosing him and imagine him meeting another girl! But I guess you said you almost want him to experience more! It looks to me that you are asking for air to breathe and you want your boyfriend to become challenge? Am I right? have you reached the point in your relationship that you are too sure about him? I am just trying to understand you because I was in quite a similar situation like you with my ex-finace! It was weird because I kept telling him why don't you go out, flirt with other women? I wanted him to make me feel jelous, I felt too sure... I wanted to feel the challenge! and it was a long-distance realtionship also!

 

I was like you - confused.. not managing the distance well.. in love but not sure he was the one.. I understand you in a way and that's why I am telling you to treat this guy with heart becasue I didn't and I regret it now so much! I lost a guy who was caring and loving! He told me after some years when I left him that I treated him like a **** and that I didn't appreciate him and that he has a new girl who does! I can tell you it hurt me to hear that! I was the one who left but it hurt me that he had this kind of memory of me because he was one of the most special and loving people I have met in my life! His opinion about me mattered to me actually!

 

I hope I could help you to understand yourself a little bit more! Let's hope he will answer well! Your letter is kind so I think it will help him!

 

Miss romantic

 

You do understand me well.. lol...Reading your post was like dipping into my mind. So many things you got on point. I did try to explain myself as best as I could..If he has more questions I will try my best to answer.

 

Its been a while and still no answer? I really dont want him to think of me as a b*tch. The last thing I want to do is hurt him or make him suffer, so i'm trying my best to be nice, have my break, and explain myself as best as possible.

 

Ugh the anxiety of waiting for a response is agonizing!!!

[IhavenoFREAKINclue]

People take breaks and break up all the time! What makes this situation any different. She was unhappy and had to do something about it. Why can't anyone feel sorry for EC? She was unhappy with the relationship. End of story. Its a lose-lose situation. She was unhappy then, he's unhappy now.

[Missromantic]

I am so happy my reply could help you to understand things better! Being a bitch to him as you were advised here on this board is the cruelst thing on earth and you would not win anything in the long run! Can you see how anxious you are waiting for his answer? Can you now imagine how he must feeling not knowing how long is "the break" going to last? and you are only waiting for a letter response! He is wating for his girl to decide about him! It's so unfair in a way! But anyway, as I said I was there so don't blame yourself too much! Sometimes we people don't make sense but as long as we treat everyone well and with respect in no matter what situation we can't loose completely!

 

One thing you should know that he may not respond! But that's a risk you took! What do you expect him to say? "Ok baby I love you so much, you are so wonderful for taking this break from me! You are breaking my heart but it's ok I will wait for you as long as it takes!" Sorry I am not trying to be mean and harsh but I am trying to make you realise that you were the one who suggested the break so you must accept the fact that he has the choice not to reply! You know if you read my thread my ex-boyfriend has taken a break from me last weekend.. it hurts and he sends emails and it's pointing out that I haven't share my news with him!! Doesn't it make him a little selfish here?

 

Second point, men take much longer! They need a lot of time to think about feelings, emotions.. it's not familiar world to them like to us! So don't push him for an answer and don't expect him to send you an email back straight away! He needs time to process the information you sent! Men are wired that way! They will only communicate to you once they know for sure what they want to say! They want to be right! So relax and as you said "take a break" and now you have to wait! It's hard doesn't! Well, it's twice hard for him!

 

Hang in there! He will respond! I am pretty sure he will but you might need to answer some questions of his! Just be patient with him! Guys can be actually really fragile and his ego is hurting right now! I know you are too but you see you have your friends and this message board! He probably doesn't have half of the support you have! Be good on him! He sounds like a caring and loving guy! If you treat him well now, it will pay you back later in your life!! Trust me!

 

Miss romantic

[EC]

He wrote back!!!

 

Hey Babe? I read your email and some things made sense

and some I dont quite get. But like I said, I love you

more than anything in this world so that means I will

support w/e venture you want to go into. So I guess

all I can say is that take the time you need, have

fun, and hopefully nobody replaces me. Its going to be

real hard for me not to be able to at least talk to

you especially because for me this came so sudden and

I always preferd to have you at least a little since I

couldnt be down there with you to have you alot, but

now I feel as if I dont have you at all at thats going

to be hard for me to accept. I'll be down there at the

end of April and hopefully we could see each other

then. I would really like that. Hopefully you dont

forget about how much fun we have when you're having

fun with yourself.lol. Dont forget to wish me luck on

thursday before 8:00 p.m. I love you Karim. More

than you will ever know. MUAH!

 

P.S- I dont need anyone to compare to, I just know.

 

Rafael

[greenhorn]

Hi All,

 

I am joining this thread pretty late so don't know my points are valid or not but this is kind of generic observation in LS.

 

If someeone says that I am breaking up the whole LS fraternity is with him/her.All kinds of suggestions will pour like what to do, hobbies, interests ...... BUT no one spares a thought whether the break up was justified or not, whether the person is getting selfish to break up and then finding the means to cope up.

 

I know in this world the sympathy lies with the victim but we should think OBJECTIVELY who the victim is and not really act as a spanner to put someone in deep hurt & pain.

 

This is what I thought about the whole situation given here by the original poster. I know I might recieve lot of criticism and bashing for my points but I will be clear in conscience to call a spade a spade and a SELFISH act as SELFISH.

 

P.S. - these comments are not personal intended towards anyone.

 

thanks

[Missromantic]

Well, have you read the post carefully.. Yes you are right she is not happy but still in love with him! I am not saying she should stay in an unhappy relationship but she doesn't sound like she wants to completely finish it! Read her words.. the poor girl is confused and she is missing him too bad.. so she is trying to make the distance less painful! But that doesn't mean that she should bitch to the poor guy! Of course he is not going to get it! noone would! if somebody who you love tells you "I need a break and no contact" you would feel like your heart has been stamped on! But this can be only felt by people who have loved and who have hearts! She is not unhappy with him I don't think! She is unhappy with the distance! But even if she wanted to break up, he still deserves an explanation and respect! He has given her his love for a year or so.. She is doing the right thing by writing him the letter and by trying to explain things to him! That's what I call love, respect and consideration of others! Even if it doesn't work out, she will not blame herself later thinking I was such a cold heartless bitch just because I couldn't break up in a decent way...She will come out as a good person and even she decides to leave him for good there is no reason to leave each other in a decent way. There doens't have to be a resentment later in their future relationships!

 

With the attitude of breaking up in a cruel way, no wonder people are scared to enter relationships! The society is full of people not being able to commit because they give hearts and themselves and then people just walk away from them. thinking if you don't get it, bad luck for you! You need to learn the hard way!! It's so horrible! I think it's WRONG!!

 

Miss romantic

[greenhorn]

I haven't read her letter properly, actually got this sour taste by reading others saying that comeon you did good by not picking his calls, the poor guy there is having his exam and he is being treated to such a pain for no fault of his.

 

I am not sure but was this Long Distance from begining ? If it was then she should have never entered into the relationshio ?and the letter according to me is not act of LOVE but act of compassion..

 

Love is never selfish...and life would never be perfect whether she breaks with him or not.

[d'Arthez]

Originally posted by greenhorn

I haven't read her letter properly, actually got this sour taste by reading others saying that comeon you did good by not picking his calls, the poor guy there is having his exam and he is being treated to such a pain for no fault of his.

 

I am not sure but was this Long Distance from begining ? If it was then she should have never entered into the relationshio ?and the letter according to me is not act of LOVE but act of compassion..

 

Love is never selfish...and life would never be perfect whether she breaks with him or not.

 

The fact is that a relationship involves 2 people. A LDR involves 2 people, plus the added distance and all the issues that come with that. LDRs are very hard to maintain, and EC has had her doubts on the whole road. His behavior has been a concern to her for some time, and they have had their share of arguments about how things were going. If I understand it properly, she has been quite open in her doubts and concerns towards him, so it is not exactly like he has been struck by thunder, underneath a clear sky. He knew there existed quite a few issues in the relationship.

 

Of course the whole situation does not make any sense to him, let alone to EC herself. But she has cut the formal tie between her and her boyfriend, and now more than ever, it is a roll of dice if things will work out.

 

There is little to be added as Missromantic, has explained the whole situation quite well. But I don't agree with this:

She will come out as a good person and even she decides to leave him for good there is no reason to leave each other in a decent way. There doens't have to be a resentment later in their future relationships!

 

Explaining is fine, but the timing could have been a lot better. By messaging in this impersonalized way you leave the guy almost clueless to everything; he can only go over the arguments they had, and the things they done in the past. He already made a second-guess about EC's motives. And even EC denying these, they will be a serious concern for him. He might even convince himself there is someone; and screw up what is left of the relationship because of that. If he goes out partying the next weekend, for instance.

 

If things won't work out there will be resentment on his part. Certainly in his first few relationships following. And maybe even on EC's part, depending on how her bf behaves in the next couple of months. Of course we want things to work out for EC, but the thing is now totally beyond her control, which was not the case prior to the "break." She can only hope now.

It's a lousy situation for her and her (ex?)bf. That is something no-one will deny.

[EC]

If things won't work out there will be resentment on his part. Certainly in his first few relationships following. And maybe even on EC's part, depending on how her bf behaves in the next couple of months. Of course we want things to work out for EC, but the thing is now totally beyond her control, which was not the case prior to the "break." She can only hope now.

It's a lousy situation for her and her (ex?)bf. That is something no-one will deny.

 

Only time will tell....

[blind_otter]

Ya know EC, live your life for you. You are the one who has to live it, you are the one who has to deal with the consequences...you are the one who will look back when you are 80 and think "Yeah that was a good life" or "Crap, that was a ****ty life" -- and it's not about who you're with or what you sacrifice for them, in the end. It's about you.

 

I have lived my whole life for other people. My family, my exHusband, my exBoyfriend....you get a certian amount of time for you. This is it. Enjoy it for chrissake and stop feeling guilty. And shame on those of you who are trying to MAKE her feel guilty.

 

Ya know sometimes you can love someone with all your heart and soul and that doesn't mean it can or will work out. And great, she should suffer selflessly so he can get through his exams, and resent him the whole time, too, or worse, resent him later on when he doesn't know about the sacrifice she made to keep him happy, and he doesn't give back or whatever.

 

You can't live your life afraid of regret. Life is about learning, growing, and experiencing things. A relationship that has ended wasn't a dead end, it was just a different path to take.

 

 

If love is never selfish the only TRUE love is that of a mother for her child.

[greenhorn]

I am not sure but if LDR component was there since begining then why EC started it ????

[EC]

I am not sure but if LDR component was there since begining then why EC started it ????

it wasn't there from the begining...he had to leave to school....even so what does that have to do with anything.

 

I tried out the LDR because I loved him and I wanted to make it work, but it wasn't working for me.