EC Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 So I'm sitting here trying to figure out my scattered thoughts. The same scattered thoughts that did not let me sleep last night and well, after dwelling over them for about a week, I still have no idea how I'm feeling. I decided this past week, I wanted a break from my bf. I love him to death but the long distance was getting to me. He came to visit me a week a go and everything was perfect but then he left again. But this time when he left it was as if the world stopped. I remember sitting on my bed and having absolutely nothing to do. I went to work and was depressed because he wasn't there. I had no one to call. It was quite disturbing. I realized that even without him being here little by little i have surrounded not only my life but my happiness around him and he was still off in school living his life and I said wtf!!!??? So I decided I wanted a break from the relationship for a while at least until he moved down here for sure and well this is how our conversation went... (stupid chatter) HIM: so what did you need to talk to me about? ME: well there is no easy way to say this but after a lot of thinking I've decided I want a break from us... (silence) HIM: Why? ME: Well I haven't exactly figured that one out but the reasons I do have would probably be considered 'dumb girly stuff' to you. HIM: shoot tell me what it is? ME: Well after you left this time it was really hard on me and I realized that I have been depending on you too much to make you happy and that I need to be happy by myself before I can be happy with someone else. The long distance is also driving me crazy and I just need a break from it for a while. HIM: Have you found someone else? DO you not love me anymore? ME: No its not someone else. HIM: But do you love me? ME: of course. HIM: So no 1 year anniversary then huh? ME: I thought about that to, i guess not I just don't know. HIM: well then what do I call you later? I mean I don't know how this break thing works? Is it just until I move down there? ME: I guess..just have fun tonight, smoke and drink, have a good time. HIM: ok then, I guess, I don't have any choice in this do I? ME: no HIM: ok then I'll give you the space you need. ME: thank you. (silence) HIM: ok babe bye then. ME: bye. And that was pretty much it. He never called back that night even though I kept imagining the phone was ringing only to be disappointed when running back to my room and seeing I had no missed calls. Last night I was restless wondering if I did the right thing? Wondering what was going to happen to us now? I couldn't sleep until 3. Now I'm at work and I guess I don't really know what I'm feeling. I'm kinda just empty...
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 You did the right thing. Don't for one second doubt your decision. AS of now your relationship isn't going anywhere. He away and your stuck at home thinking about what he's doing. Maybe its time you do you for a while. Go out have fun! Smoke a blunt and drink a beer and DO NOT wallow in the "what could have been's" Your young and beautiful and you have your whole life to decide what you want. For now, have FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Maybe its a wake up call. Everything happiness for a reason. Maybe you'll find yourself more happy with out him. Its a huge burden off of your shoulder. When my ex "wanted space" from me. I gave it to him and decided that i like this space thing and then we never got back. I realized that the relationship was one of the worst in history and now i can't be happier. You'll see. In due time.
Author EC Posted March 21, 2005 Author Posted March 21, 2005 Thank you. I know I want to have fun without him...But the thing is I still love him I just can't take the situation...I don't know what i would do if he liked his space and didn't want to get back.... BUt I guess that's the risk I had to take.... In a way..I want him to enjoy this break. I have been his only serious relationship...all his other relationships have only lasted a month. So in a way I thought he can never fully appreciate me without having something to compare me too?? So I thought maybe I want him to take this break, and go out, and have fun, and meet girls and him not have to worry about me, or worrying about consequences to his actions and for him to get everything out of his system before moving down here for sure....... Am I nuts? I dunno....I have so many thoughts going through my head..and he still hasn't called..Ugh! TIKI hes coming back in four months/
Author EC Posted March 21, 2005 Author Posted March 21, 2005 AHHHHH he just text messaged me with.... "I love you babe, I hope this break thing doesn't last too long. But you know you still have to wish me luck on my tests. Muah. " I don't know if I should write back! ????
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 Write back. You guys aren't broken up so its ok if you talk to him. Just say you need a little EC time right now.
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 Originally posted by EC So I thought maybe I want him to take this break, and go out, and have fun, and meet girls and him not have to worry about me, or worrying about consequences to his actions and for him to get everything out of his system before moving down here for sure....... There ya go. Thats a great reason for this break. Let him have something to compare relationships to. Sometimes it will work out and sometimes now, but at least you will be able to sleep at night knowing that he's ha[[y with whatever decision he choses.
tiki Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 EC, is there someone else on YOUR end? I say text him back.
Author EC Posted March 21, 2005 Author Posted March 21, 2005 No I have no one else on my end at all...... I want to write back but I dont know what? Any ideas?
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 Short and sweet. "Good luck on your test." Dont say anyting else or else the conversation of "US" will come up and thats not what space is about.
Author EC Posted March 21, 2005 Author Posted March 21, 2005 K I wrote back "goodluck on your test" And now he's freaking calling me but I wont pick up......and now hes calling me from a friends number....Ughh why is this so hard???
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 Its supposed to be hard. But you have to put your foot down and say that this isn't space. That he should respect your decision for wanting a break and he's not honoring that. Tell him that you think its best if you don't talk for a few days maybe a week or so. YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG! keep yourself occupied so you don't think about it as much.
Author EC Posted March 21, 2005 Author Posted March 21, 2005 and I love his pipi!! lol jk Wow I didn't answer the phone that was hard but I got through it!! He didnt leave a message though Um so yeah I guess NC begins now.
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 Originally posted by EC Um so yeah I guess NC begins now. That it does, but in the end it will all work out. NC does work, i swear by it! Good luck with everything P.S. You will find a person with just as nice of a pipi as his!
moimeme Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 I think you're out of your tree. You do this thinking he'll be ok with it, pine for you, and rush back to your arms in four months. This might hurt him so badly that he'll never come back. Have you not read all the advice given people who write LS asking what 'a break' means? They're all told to move on and get over it because they've been broken up with. If he were to write here, that's what he'd be told. And then where would you be?
Author EC Posted March 21, 2005 Author Posted March 21, 2005 moimeme This is something I had to do for me.... I have asked myself all the questions you have written and though it will kill me if he doesn't comeback then it wasn't meant to be...What am I to do? I'm not happy with the way things are going now. I took a break..and if a break will break us up then its out of my hands, it wasn't meant to be and eventually another will come.
tiki Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 Then go with it full force, EC. If he contacts you again, tell him "We can't be talking like this".
Author EC Posted March 21, 2005 Author Posted March 21, 2005 Well I texted him with just 'goodluck on the test' and he called my cell twice...but I didn't pick up. Then he called my job and I had to pick up because my co-worker transferred it to me..and he said.. Hey my test is on thursday not today and I was just wondering if you could at least call me on thursday and wish me goodluck. I said listen, I will do that for you on thursday but after that we seriously cannot talk anymore. He said he was going to call me tonight to talk about exactly what a break was because this was all new to him and he was losing his mind. I said I need time for me and that means no contact..he asked no contact at all..I said exactly...then he said please just answer me one thing..Am I losing you??? I said no.i dont know...he then said listen i know your not very good at speaking over the phone and explaining yourself. Could you please just write me an e-mail explaining everything so that I can understand whats going on and then I will leave you alone I promise. I said let me see. He said ok bye bye and we hung up.
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Then go with it full force, EC. If he contacts you again, tell him "We can't be talking like this". Easier said than done, but it CAN be done. Be strong. Stick to your guns. You had the strength enough to address the break and initiate it. Now grow the strength to stick with it! Be bitch sometimes too if he doesnt get it!
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 Originally posted by EC Hey my test is on thursday not today and I was just wondering if you could at least call me on thursday and wish me goodluck. I said listen, I will do that for you on thursday but after that we seriously cannot talk anymore. He said he was going to call me tonight to talk about exactly what a break was because this was all new to him and he was losing his mind. I said I need time for me and that means no contact..he asked no contact at all..I said exactly...then he said please just answer me one thing..Am I losing you??? I said no.i dont know...he then said listen i know your not very good at speaking over the phone and explaining yourself. Could you please just write me an e-mail explaining everything so that I can understand whats going on and then I will leave you alone I promise. I said let me see. He said ok bye bye and we hung up. You handled that well.
moimeme Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 Actually, it was kind of a rotten thing to do, EC. My university bf broke up with me because I wasn't spending enough time with him - two days before a thesis defense. Needless to say, it screwed my last week of my term up bigtime. The guy's right in the middle of ending his whole school career and you hit him between the eyes with a brick. IMHO, that was pretty darn selfish. Sure, you are having issues in the relationship but he's far away anyway so what would it have done to you to let it ride until the school year is out?
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 So she should be unhappy just to save his school career? People handle things differently. If he loves her than he should respect her decision and move on. His school career does not depend on whether or not EC is there.
Author EC Posted March 21, 2005 Author Posted March 21, 2005 Actually, it was kind of a rotten thing to do, EC. My university bf broke up with me because I wasn't spending enough time with him - two days before a thesis defense. Needless to say, it screwed my last week of my term up bigtime. The guy's right in the middle of ending his whole school career and you hit him between the eyes with a brick. IMHO, that was pretty darn selfish. Sure, you are having issues in the relationship but he's far away anyway so what would it have done to you to let it ride until the school year is out? Because I was not happy. Yeah I'm being a little selfish but god damn he has his life over there, his friends, he goes out and gets wasted everyday, he goes to clubs, you know he has the f*cking best of both worlds so yeah I am being selfish and looking out for me... And hes not ending his whole school career, hes transferring so hes getting the same thing down here. Trust me it ain't the end of the world for him. Hes getting to move in his own apartment with his brother down here and be with his old friends and closer to family so it ain't all about me that hes moving down.
Recommended Posts