Ariel2006 Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 I have constant fear of made up scenarios in my head believing that my relationship is "fake" when in fact it's not. My SO keeps assuring me that he's with me, and to stop all this craziness, because it's suffocating him and he can't take it anymore. I become ok... I am fine... until another unnecessary scenario pops up and the cycle begins again. Why does this happen? How can I stop it? I am becoming depressed because I'm ruining what I have for no reason.
Gloria25 Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 Well, can you give us some details? How 'bout an example of an "unnecessary scenario"?
Author Ariel2006 Posted December 6, 2014 Author Posted December 6, 2014 Well, can you give us some details? How 'bout an example of an "unnecessary scenario"? Like I keep thinking he is cheating on me or using me.. and he's not... but I fear what we have is fake? and it's not? It's hard to explain.. it's like I keep trying to look for a flaw that doesn't exist
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 Maybe your intuition is picking up on something? 2
KatZee Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 Your issues are within yourself. They're not your boyfriend's problem and it's really not fair of you to continue punishing him for whatever things past boyfriends have done to you. Eventually he's just going to leave you. It sounds like you lack confidence, and you're insecure. Perhaps you don't think you're good enough for him or a real relationship. Either way, fix your problems. Until you do, you're just going to continue ruining every relationship you have. You can't control people. If he tells you he cares for you and is with you, then BELIEVE him. I'm not quite sure what you even want him to do every time you tell him you think the relationship is "fake" and that he's cheating on you. Would YOU enjoy being accused of cheating on a frequent basis?
Gloria25 Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 (edited) Like I keep thinking he is cheating on me or using me.. and he's not... but I fear what we have is fake? and it's not? It's hard to explain.. it's like I keep trying to look for a flaw that doesn't exist Can you give us a scenario of what you thought of him as cheating? For example, if I was with a guy who would get up at 2AM to call an ex. Yes, that would be something suspicious. Ok, I take it back. I read another one of your postings. I think your intuition is right. Why is some ex telling him she still loves him and he wants to tell you "ah, that's nothing". Doesn't sound right to me. Edited December 6, 2014 by Gloria25
Author Ariel2006 Posted December 6, 2014 Author Posted December 6, 2014 Can you give us a scenario of what you thought of him as cheating? For example, if I was with a guy who would get up at 2AM to call an ex. Yes, that would be something suspicious. Ok, I take it back. I read another one of your postings. I think your intuition is right. Why is some ex telling him she still loves him and he wants to tell you "ah, that's nothing". Doesn't sound right to me. ^ part of the reason I have turned insane. I have explained this to him... he said it's nothing and that he is not hiding anything from me and to stop causing problems... in general I'm the type of person who is strong. I never feel threatened... but these past few months I keep having fear that something is going on behind my back.. however he claims that if there was he wouldn't be with me. He'd be with someone else... he says I need us to develop naturally and every other day we have problems because I pick at something I take the wrong way... I got very wounded the first time he hurt me. It's hard to trust a second time. You may ask why am I still in this? ... I fell in love... and thought maybe to give things a chance ... (but I'm struggling with these thoughts of mine). I could be right I could be wrong... I don't know. All I know is that I wanted to spend a few more months (stress free & have fun and if it isn't working to leave)... but I can't go a day without feeling heavy... One moment I'm confident and breathing and trusting .. the next I'm like "he doesn't want me" and it causes my vibe to be negative. I want to try and be positive regardless the results. I hate this demon I've become. Even if it results in a break up I just want positive energy.
Author Ariel2006 Posted December 6, 2014 Author Posted December 6, 2014 Can you give us a scenario of what you thought of him as cheating? For example, if I was with a guy who would get up at 2AM to call an ex. Yes, that would be something suspicious. Ok, I take it back. I read another one of your postings. I think your intuition is right. Why is some ex telling him she still loves him and he wants to tell you "ah, that's nothing". Doesn't sound right to me. Part of me thought of the note.. and it didn't necessarily say she wishes they were together.. it said she wished she was close? So I know they broke up on mutual terms and on good terms... so I sometimes think that she really does care about him , is hurt, and still loves him. I just don't know how long she will take to move on... & I don't know what I want and what I don't want anymore. As of now, I have cut down our time spent together to once a week.
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