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An example of why I'm boggled by online dating

juliet22

By juliet22
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juliet22 New Member

juliet22

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So I was having coffee today and sitting next to me was 2 girls and a guy. The girls were checking out the guy's online dating profile. Saying things like "oh she is cute...she sounds nice etc."

 

Here I am.... a single girl...sitting right next to them. If he had asked me out I would have said yes. So weird. Where is the personal connection anymore? It seems like going out and putting yourself out there is futile anymore. Everyone is involved with these artificial experiences. :(

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Molly Hooper Established Member

Molly Hooper

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True. Though that doesn't sound like a situation where he would ask you out (while 2 girl friends are there - but maybe he would). But yeah, technology has opened up so many options, and it has also made us blind to such obvious ones.

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Chemist Established Member

Chemist

Posted
Posted
So I was having coffee today and sitting next to me was 2 girls and a guy. The girls were checking out the guy's online dating profile. Saying things like "oh she is cute...she sounds nice etc."

 

Here I am.... a single girl...sitting right next to them. If he had asked me out I would have said yes. So weird. Where is the personal connection anymore? It seems like going out and putting yourself out there is futile anymore. Everyone is involved with these artificial experiences. :(

 

Cry. do you know how many women, in my history, have declined my invite, then cried to me about not finding a nice guy to go on a date with?

 

Suck it up, baby.

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juliet22 New Member

juliet22

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True. Though that doesn't sound like a situation where he would ask you out (while 2 girl friends are there - but maybe he would). But yeah, technology has opened up so many options, and it has also made us blind to such obvious ones.

 

Good point. I guess I'll mention that he was there by himself 30 minutes before his 2 friends showed up.

NotUnlikeWaves Member

NotUnlikeWaves

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Here I am.... a single girl...sitting right next to them. If he had asked me out I would have said yes. So weird. Where is the personal connection anymore? It seems like going out and putting yourself out there is futile anymore. Everyone is involved with these artificial experiences. :(

 

He's thinking

 

1)You likely already have a boyfriend

2)Most women are not open to being approached by a random stranger like that anyways if they're single cause they're usually being courted by 8 guys in their social circle anyways

 

 

Just so you know, what you're asking him to do is hard as hell. Approach a random stranger at a coffee shop with zero encouragement. It's like diving into water without having any clue how cold it's going to be

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El Oh El Member

El Oh El

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I actually knew this would happen 15 years ago. Good think I "online dated" in the 90s before the crowd came in. Whew.. you guys missed it. It was FUNNNN!!!

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FitChick Established Member

FitChick

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Here I am.... a single girl...sitting right next to them.

Maybe he did see you but you weren't his type.

HereNorThere Established Member

HereNorThere

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I think the better question is - Why did you approach him? You knew he was single and looking, but he didn't have the luxury of knowing that about you.

 

I suspect it's the same reason he didn't approach you. :)

 

Double standard much?

Ebelskiver Established Member

Ebelskiver

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If you were interested, why didn't you ask him? Especially since you knew he was single and he had no idea bout you.

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juliet22 New Member

juliet22

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If you were interested, why didn't you ask him? Especially since you knew he was single and he had no idea bout you.

 

I feel people here think I was upset by this. I just found it funny/ironic. I kinda just chuckled to myself as I listened to them and wondered where real human connection went. But I do feel online dating makes it harder in real life to ask someone out. I guess I'm old fashioned in that I wouldn't ask a man out like that. But I would strike up a convo if the opening presented itself.

Edited by juliet22
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Frank2thepoint Established Member

Frank2thepoint

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2)Most women are not open to being approached by a random stranger like that anyways if they're single cause they're usually being courted by 8 guys in their social circle anyways

 

It's called the creep card. It's easier to judge someone instead of taking a moment to get to know them.

 

 

I feel people here think I was upset by this. I just found it funny/ironic. I kinda just chuckled to myself as I listened to them and wondered where real human connection went. But I do feel online dating makes it harder in real life to ask someone out. I guess I'm old fashioned in that I wouldn't ask a man out like that. But I would strike up a convo if the opening presented itself.

 

You chuckle, but I am sad. Human connection is dying because the dependence of the simplicity of OLD, packaged as a catalog. The disconnect it creates turns people fearful of doing something brave like striking up a conversation with someone random.

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kolleamm Established Member

kolleamm

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OLD is like....Armageddon. It gives women a false sense of inflated self worth and reduces most guys to rubble. There's really no stopping it now, but then again natural selection tends to favor those who aren't holding out their whole lives for someone perfect.

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El Oh El Member

El Oh El

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Conspiracy. LOL. It IS ironic! Free Will has been lost. Somebody up there is angry... tsk tsk.

insert_name Established Member

insert_name

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I'm tired of hearing about all these old fashioned ideas used as an excuse to take no responsibility for your own situation. "I'm old fashioned, its a guys job to ask me out or pay for everything". Yet it only seems to apply to stuff that gives other people the responsibility of making you happy- funny that isnt it? Eg You never hear a woman say "I'm old fashioned, I feel like I should be at home in the kitchen making you a sandwich".

 

Sounds like the OP thinks putting herself out there is leaving the house and waiting to be approached. Maybe the odd stolen glance that could quite frankly mean anything to a guy who is wondering whether to talk to her. So I for one have very little sympathy.

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LookAtThisPOst Established Member

LookAtThisPOst

Posted
Posted
So I was having coffee today and sitting next to me was 2 girls and a guy. The girls were checking out the guy's online dating profile. Saying things like "oh she is cute...she sounds nice etc."

 

Here I am.... a single girl...sitting right next to them. If he had asked me out I would have said yes. So weird. Where is the personal connection anymore? It seems like going out and putting yourself out there is futile anymore. Everyone is involved with these artificial experiences. :(

 

I've actually seen women at Meetup events browsing their POF app and doing the same thing. Of course, there's plenty of single men at the event they could be getting to know, but even out of the house, they are obsessed with online dating.

Chemist Established Member

Chemist

Posted
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I've actually seen women at Meetup events browsing their POF app and doing the same thing. Of course, there's plenty of single men at the event they could be getting to know, but even out of the house, they are obsessed with online dating.

 

They took a brief look around the room and decided none of the men were worth dating. They aren't as perfect as the pictures posted on POF, you know...

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JuneJulySeptember Established Member

JuneJulySeptember

Posted
Posted
So I was having coffee today and sitting next to me was 2 girls and a guy. The girls were checking out the guy's online dating profile. Saying things like "oh she is cute...she sounds nice etc."

 

Here I am.... a single girl...sitting right next to them. If he had asked me out I would have said yes. So weird. Where is the personal connection anymore? It seems like going out and putting yourself out there is futile anymore. Everyone is involved with these artificial experiences. :(

 

You could be much younger than we think and you could be hooked up already, and your big, hulking boyfriend could be standing right next to us.

 

You are kind of right though. If men get rejected in OLD, then they can face rejection in real life.

 

Unfortunately, just like OLD, my pool is small.

fred123 Established Member

fred123

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if i asked a girl out at a coffee shop or started a convo they would think what a creep and laugh with her friends and i would make her feel uncomfortable. she will ignore me. whats worse is if she is foreign she can tease and talk in another language in front of me.

 

 

there are absolutely no advantages in doing so

Destined2B Member

Destined2B

Posted
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if i asked a girl out at a coffee shop or started a convo they would think what a creep and laugh with her friends and i would make her feel uncomfortable. she will ignore me. whats worse is if she is foreign she can tease and talk in another language in front of me.

 

 

there are absolutely no advantages in doing so

That would've been a fun story to tell for weeks. Way better than news, weather or sports.

 

Girls don't mind getting approached by attractive guys, even if they're not single.

40 Fonzarelli Established Member

40 Fonzarelli

Posted
Posted

I wish I was dating before the internet era.

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