El Oh El Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 "You're interested in getting to know me more and not looking to hook up." Honestly, I know you don't understand why. It makes sense to you. You get 50 msg's a day from horny dudes who want to put their thing in your thing, then not call back and go eat tacos. I get that. However, when the guy you WILL WANT arrives, he is going to pass on you. One reason, I'll be honest here. You can listen or you can choose not to. It's up to you... He really is the one you want, and who will care for you, and in the long run, it will just be "better". Only, you don't know it. You don't know it because, it's one of those deeply held secrets of the universe. I talked to some old people, by old I mean, they were like grandma's. But these old grandmas I found, had a spark to them. Something in their eyes. They looked really old and nobody was paying attention to them, but for some reason, I gave them a bit of attention.. and to my suprise, they began speaking to me in a manner that seemed oddly "youthful". They said, they met a boy long long ago, maybe in the 1930's or 40's!! And, they said, that bastard just wanted to 'hook up'. She's been so happy ever since. Girls, you write that, because.. you're getting the junk 99% who want to hook up. But the diamond in the rough, is that 1%... and he passes up your profile.
preraph Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 Kissing toads is simply not for everyone, OP. I think it's perfectly fine to stipulate you are not interested in just hooking up. Some honest and above-board young man, though unquestionably the minority on OLD sites, will eventually choose this girl BECAUSE she wrote that. And meanwhile, she won't have to shake 99 horny dudes off her leg. 8
Author El Oh El Posted December 6, 2014 Author Posted December 6, 2014 Kissing toads is simply not for everyone, OP. I think it's perfectly fine to stipulate you are not interested in just hooking up. Some honest and above-board young man, though unquestionably the minority on OLD sites, will eventually choose this girl BECAUSE she wrote that. And meanwhile, she won't have to shake 99 horny dudes off her leg. Yeah but then she and he, will be another couple in this world, who makes this world mediocre. She and that 1% who surprises her, will make this world what it was once like - truly amazing. This is a "man vs woman" debate, and this one, women are wrong. This is a case of "woman greed". It's fairly "easy" to ignore 99 horny dudes on a leg. Just scroll the pics, and find the one they think is "cute" or "hot". That's what they do anyway?? I can scroll down 99 pics in about 15 seconds. So I know they can too. Women greed...
smackie9 Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 I don't know what is wrong with being honest with your expectations. It doesn't matter if you are a "nice" guy, there still has to be mutual attraction physically and emotionally....and it take time to really know it is what you want. That is what dating is all about....you have to kick a lot of tires before you find that person. So when they say they are not looking for hook ups they mean they want something meaningful. It doesn't mean need a "nice guy" it means someone that ticks off all their boxes. 1
smg15 Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 "You're interested in getting to know me more and not looking to hook up." Honestly, I know you don't understand why. It makes sense to you. You get 50 msg's a day from horny dudes who want to put their thing in your thing, then not call back and go eat tacos. I get that. However, when the guy you WILL WANT arrives, he is going to pass on you. One reason, I'll be honest here. You can listen or you can choose not to. It's up to you... He really is the one you want, and who will care for you, and in the long run, it will just be "better". Only, you don't know it. You don't know it because, it's one of those deeply held secrets of the universe. I talked to some old people, by old I mean, they were like grandma's. But these old grandmas I found, had a spark to them. Something in their eyes. They looked really old and nobody was paying attention to them, but for some reason, I gave them a bit of attention.. and to my suprise, they began speaking to me in a manner that seemed oddly "youthful". They said, they met a boy long long ago, maybe in the 1930's or 40's!! And, they said, that bastard just wanted to 'hook up'. She's been so happy ever since. Girls, you write that, because.. you're getting the junk 99% who want to hook up. But the diamond in the rough, is that 1%... and he passes up your profile. I agree, to me it sounds like a guy already used her and now she is making sure she doesn't make the same mistake. We all know what we don't want but it;s no need to put it in a profile lol 1
Lernaean_Hydra Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 I agree, to me it sounds like a guy already used her and now she is making sure she doesn't make the same mistake. I don't get this logic. Why is this the natural assumption? Some of us don't need to be pumped & dumped to know we don't want to be pumped & dumped . We all know what we don't want but it's no need to put it in a profile lol Yes, we - that is to say each of us individually KNOW - what we don't want but that's not always apparent to outsiders. Ergo the need to specify. 4
Gloria25 Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 If we are being real here, when I see a profile of a woman saying they aren't looking for a hookup, I know that is probably because she has done plenty of hookups already. Knowing this tells me that while she might say she doesn't want a hookup, she will go for it. Yeah, sometimes I think these chicks are working some sort of "reverse psychology" on these guys... They wanna portray the "I'm a sweet church goin' girl", but yet they're posting pics of themselves half naked on the profile Pics resembles a duck, probably is a duck. Or, might be a duck trying to lure you in to make you "think" she's a swan.
Danda Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 I don't really understand.. Let's say hypothetically that the girl did do a hook up thing and felt hurt or otherwise unhappy about it, so she thinks to add to her profile that she doesn't just want to hook up but actually wants to form a connection with a guy. If a guy doesn't just want to wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, then why would he pass on her profile just because she clarified that she's not into dead end or impersonal sex? If anything, isn't it kind of like a favor, so that guys who are looking for casual sex only will not waste their time chatting her up? Or something. I sort of get the impression that you think women who want relationships should accept random hook ups, because after they **** 99 guys, the 100th guy might turn out to be their soul mate or something. I can't say that I agree with that at all, if that is actually what you are implying. Is it possible that you are rather sex-focused at this time and felt like the heads up from a woman on her profile was somehow labeling you as 'bad' or something? Because I don't see just wanting to hook up as 'bad' in any way, but honesty is definitely a big deal. That's all. 1
deathandtaxes Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 It's just superfluous verbiage, OP. It's like all the profiles out there by ladies who say they like to laugh? No ****! Who doesn't like to laugh??? That's like saying I like to breathe. Just don't worry about it. 2
BlueIris Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 Eh. Because that's what lots of women go through that. I guess that makes you uncomfortable. Look at it this way: It’s to be an excellent way to eliminate many undesirable types. I saw lots of men say they don’t want drama. Ok. They’ve had some drama and don’t want any. I don’t say, “well, I’m that special 1% and he turned me off by saying that,” because that makes me NOT that special 1%.
hotpotato Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 I dont understand the gripe. If you dont like it, move along. She will find someone else. Some people only want casual sex, and say so in their profiles. Some people actually want to date, and will say so in their profiles 3
Ebelskiver Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 Oh, El Oh El, they just aren't interested in you. Period. That said, I'm not looking for a hook up. I can get tht anytime I want with absolutly no effort at all. I want someone who is at least open to a serious, long-term relationship. I'm sure the women on the site you frequent feel the same. I don't want to screw someone, develop emotions for them, in the off chance that they may want to start something serious. That's an emotionally stupid thing to do. Women who are clear about their desires are doing what's best for both parties involved.
d0nnivain Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 No he won't because if he really is the diamond she is seeking -- rough or polished -- he will not be intimidated by her statement. Yes, it's awful that we live in a world where people have to announce they want more than NSA casual sex but that is the reality. I got my 1st job by answering an ad that said they were looking for somebody who had more experience than I had but it also said they would consider an extraordinary new graduate. I bluffed. The first line of my cover letter was that I was the extraordinary new graduate that they wanted. At the interview they asked me what made me extraordinary. I replied that it was because I had the hutzpah to write that & the education to back it up because, clearly they believed me since they interviewed me. I was hired on the spot at a great starting salary with unbelievable amounts of responsibility. Fake it till you make it works. Your problem is that you want to think you are "All That" but the fact that you are intimidated by such statements / requirements, says you don't really believe in yourself, which is sad because your post language says you are self assured. Start acting like it! 3
Anela Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 Yeah, sometimes I think these chicks are working some sort of "reverse psychology" on these guys... They wanna portray the "I'm a sweet church goin' girl", but yet they're posting pics of themselves half naked on the profile Pics resembles a duck, probably is a duck. Or, might be a duck trying to lure you in to make you "think" she's a swan. I was honest in my profile. I haven't hooked up with anyone, and wasn't there for that reason. I was approached for threesomes, as well as getting the "hey sexy" messages, so I had to add to my profile that I wasn't there for that, either. And before anyone gets any ideas, re: the "hey sexy" messages: I didn't have sexy pictures in my profile. I wasn't showing anything off.
Rydo Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 Strange assumption to make that women who specifically say they dont want hookups must have had loads of hookups 4
Rydo Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 So you hooked up with girls that weren't looking for hookups when girls that hook up turn you off, makes sense.
Phoe Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 When I was looking for a hookup only, I found them. Each girl I hooked up with had the "no hookups" line in their profile. When I first started OLD, I was actually looking for a relationship, but I was turned off by this line in a profile, yes. I have plenty of guy friends who use OLD, and I have female friends on there too. Profiles are generally the opposite of the truth. Someone says they hate drama, you can expect drama from them. Someone says they aren't looking for a hookup, they will do a hookup. This is why I kept my profile simple and straightforward. Gave some basic info about myself and my interests, and that was that. No expectations, no requirements, nothing but simple facts. Can't misconstrue those! 1
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