curiosity10 Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 Hello- Ive been with my BF for two years. We live about 4 cities away. We only see each other on the weekends. At the begining of our relationship I was okay with the distance because he would do his best to come see me during the week and I would do the same, but that has changed and it bothers me that I dont see him as much. I start to think that he might be with someone else during the week. I think im just going crazy. I start to think that maybe he has someone else during the week although I know that if that was true he would hide his phone or be secretive with his phone when hes around me but hes not. I use his phone all the time when hes with me and I havent seen anything suspicious. Ive actually driven to his house on many occasions to check if hes there and for the most part he is. It just bugs me when I call himn in the evening and I dont hear from him until the next day. His excuse- he was sleeping. Our relationship is pretty strong, we spend alot of our time at family gatherings, weekend trips and getaways. We talk text everyday and if theres one day that he doesnt text me im going nuts. He talks about moving in together but now is not a good time as he has a teenage son and I have a teenage daughter. He wants to wait until his son is out of HS which will be next year. I was married for 10 years before. My ex husband left me for a younger woman and that really affected me. I need advice on how to control these insecurities because I feel like I can one day lose this man that I love so much.
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 You're well on your way to creating problems where there likely aren't any. You say your relationship is strong and that by all accounts spend a lot of time together including family time so freaking out about a missed call or going a day without talking isn't the end of the world. Has he ever given you any reason to believe he could be cheating? If he hasn't then you need to give your head a serious shake. Don't let your past experience ruin your current one. He is not your ex and if you need to write this on your hand every morning to remind you of that, do it. The best way to deal with obsessing about things is to get busy! Seriously. Stop sitting around waiting for whatever. You might have too much free time on your hands which is what's contributing to you over thinking things and stalking him. The minute he realizes that you're acting like a "crazy" girlfriend by driving by his house and checking his phone will be the beginning of the end. ESPECIALLY if you don't have any reason to think he's being unfaithful. Please don't be that woman. Pick up a new hobby. Plan time with girlfriends. Spend more quality time with your teenage daughter. Try spending more time focusing on the positive things in your relationship rather than the things that may not be perfect. Then take a deep breath and RELAX. You have it pretty damn good. Don't become the creator of your own misery by looking for problems and thinking that all men are like your ex. Good luck.
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