egohurt Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 i know you shouldnt but shes just amazing yea she hurt me but shes truly a great person. i know she had feelings and still does she just has always loved this other guy. i wont pay for her stuff or act like we are dating. i think shes a positive influence on my life and i would love for her to be a part of ot should i remain friends?
Lernaean_Hydra Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 i know you shouldnt should i remain friends? You just answered your own question before you even asked it. No. Why? For what? You still have feelings for her so keeping her around as a "friend" will only hurt you in the long run. But if you really want to be friends, ask yourself how you'd feel the day she comes running to tell you about this great guy she's so in love with that is perfect for her and the best thing that's ever happened to her life.....and that guy isn't you. If you think you'd be A-OK with this then sure, go for it I guess but if not, let the past stay in the past. 1
sober and dry Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 That's just a big NO-NO in my opinion. She had THE oportunity to become a REAL positive influence in your life and she is just not in that anymore. If she really love you in the end she will come running after you, but only, and ONLY if you stay away from her for real and make her really run after you, and maybe some more. People only truly know what they had when they really miss it, sadly. 2
Author egohurt Posted December 6, 2014 Author Posted December 6, 2014 i just cant imagine her not being a part of it
dumbass2 Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 You're still hurt and want her in your life anyway you can and then hope to win here back. At least that is what it seems like and I've seen this before. It just does not work when there are romantic feelings still involved and one of the people still have strong feelings for the other. you're either together as romantic partners with a future or you're not. No friends with an ex, at least not until all romantic feelings are gone and probably not even then.
lauri Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 No. Why don't you spend that time making a new friend who will have an even more positive effect on your life? 1
d0nnivain Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 Friends talk to each other all the time & discuss their lives. you do not need or want a front row seat to her next relationship. You can't be the ear she beds for advice about the new guy so no, you can't be her friend. You can be friendly. That means you don't bad mouth each other. You are polite & gracious when you see each other but don't reach out & expect you're going to chat regularly. 1
Author egohurt Posted December 7, 2014 Author Posted December 7, 2014 i last taked to her on thursday and told her i neded some time aosne to recover
Chi townD Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 Yep! Good deal! You need to be in NC to heal from this and move on. Can you be friends with her. Sure! Once you have no romantic feelings for her at all and when you think of her and the only thing you feel is indifferent towards her. Until you get to that point, then you need to be in NC.
sober and dry Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 i last taked to her on thursday and told her i neded some time aosne to recover You don't need to talk to her and must certainly you don't need any answer from her to heal yourself. Remember, there are no such thing as friends after that!
loversquarrel Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 You could also hamper any potential future relationships by remaining friends with an ex. A lot of men and women out there who perceive it as a red flag.
Halcyon Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 Are your ok hearing about the new hot, funny, smart guy she is seeing and how much she is into him and how amazing he is. You are amazing too of course she will reassure you but this guy, wow this guy is the bomb. Be honest with yourself, you want to be her "friend" because you can't let go. You will be secretly hoping she will get back with you. Which is very unlikely to happen you guys broke up for a reason. She is in love with someone else, not you. Are you really ok with being her seconds choice? I know I wouldn't, I have too much self respect to be treated like that. You know it's a bad idea already, don't do it.
HurtGator Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 i know you shouldnt but shes just amazing yea she hurt me but shes truly a great person. i know she had feelings and still does she just has always loved this other guy. i wont pay for her stuff or act like we are dating. i think shes a positive influence on my life and i would love for her to be a part of ot should i remain friends? Why did she break up with you to begin with? What were the reasons she gave you?
erklat Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 You can't be friends with someone you have a failed romantic relationship with. Trying to reconcile with her through false friendship is tragically bad idea.
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