Dumpee twice in a year?

[Vill]

Hello to everyone, that's my first post, however i have been reading loveshack for a year now. In the beginning of this year my ex of two years decided to end our relationship. I was depressed and did running after her with no happy ending, after few months went full no contact, right now it's been 5 months in NC. Before that i messaged her last time saying i decided to move on, she replied for the first time and i didn't. I don't want to go into details about it as it's not the case right now.

 

Started dating new girls, working out, diet, in general improving myself. I have met 5 girls over this time, that wanted to be in relationship with me but i didn't. I wasn't ready nor had that kind of intres in any of them. I didn't get physical with them, cared about their feelings. Time went by. October, i have met a new girl, first time i see her and decided to driver her home and talk, we have mutual friends. I drove her home that night and we started to date. She is pretty, funny and we had that click from the beginning. However she broke up with her boyfriend like two weeks before that and i knew i had to be cautious. After all the things i have been through i knew she was thinking about her ex and i were probably the rebound guy. About her previous relationship, she was with him for 4 yrs, he broke up with her 3 times, the fourth one was her turn. Because of that i told her what i am thinking about us, i didn't want to rush it, get to know her and later we will see how it goes.

 

So we see each other very often, texting everyday, after two weeks we went to bed and i started to think it might actually be my new girlfriend, however everytime she wanted to make it official i didn't. Some of her acts pissed me off over the time and i decided not to care that much about her. However she was saying she is falling for me and that she cares. Told me that ex tried to contact her few times but she didn't respond and doesn't want him in her life. I became sick after that, we saw eachother only once in a week, she wanted to go out to the party in the next one but i didn't, still felt sick. She pissed me off after getting drunk that night and i decided to go NC waiting for her to msg me. Four days after that my friend told me she posted some pics with her ex and i msged her right away asking what's up, she said we need to talk so we have met that day and yeaah, she admitted meeting her bf that night, seeing him the next days and going to bed with him. So we talk about it, I accept everything she says and just finish it in polite way, explaining her that it will probably fail as it did in the past and she won't have the new chance to go out with me. She said it was the worse week in her life as she did develop feelings to me and didn't want to lose contact with me but she can't imagine having it too. I have said many things to her which made me proud cause i wasn't that needy guy as i were with my ex, different case, i know, but still. So anyway i drove her home and we say goodbye, I go NC.

 

Tricky part start right after that, I knew i liked her cause during the days we didn't talk, i missed her. I felt like someone punched me, dizzy, lost. I have met my friend to talk after that went home and decided to drink by myself. Next day i felt used and lonley, started drinking again. Yesterday i go out to the club, no intrest in the girls, go back home drinking, today the same thing. I don't even want to get out and go party with friends, drinks. I don't see point in meeting new girls after getting screwed like this. I think about her and eventhough i knew it might happend i didn't see it comming, her explanations "i have met him but the next day i knew i didn't want him cause i knew i had you but you didn't talk to me". So i replied "and so what, even if we were together and because of some fight we wouldn't talk for few days you would do the same thing? Really?" It was ridicilous for me. Anyways i fell for the girl anyways, after all the harsh stuff i have been through this year i am tired of this ****. I have to do that **** all over again, no contact, forgetting someone i like, eventhough she played me off. I am drinking to ease the pain, didn't do same with my ex, i don't see any point in anything. I though she might be the girl to come in my life and make it for the better. Ironicaly that day she told me about all of this i saw my ex gf of two years and i was thinking about things we had together. She saw me too, first time in those months and i am pretty sure she wanted to see me cause drove right pass me, felt like breaking NC that day but i didn't. I still have feelings for my ex and this new girl knew it too, i wanted to start something new and feels like i am back at the square one, damn it. I wonder if ex girl think about me nor care, would want to reconcicle, i wonder if the new one false with ex and comes to conclusion that i was better and comes back? With ex i was beta, now alpha, maybe too much, cause she said "i thiught about us and i want something else" i replied "i know what you need, someone carrying, supporting but u didn't give us the time to get there". Why do i care about that stuff if it's none of my business, she went back to her ex, should be the end for me but it's not, why? I am so sad right now, i see everything in dark colours. Well getting this story out of my chest was a hard one. I am dumb cause i wish none of this happend and i could meet her and just spend the time like before. **** this ****

 

Timeframes:

relationship with ex lasted for 2 years with one separation for a month, i was trying to get her back for 4 months, after that went full NC.

the new girl two months, NC not even a week

Edited December 5, 2014 by Vill

[Vill]

Today my sister told me, she run into my ex in the party and that she was wierdly happy and excited, screaming hii to her. Should i break NC?

 

The other one is meeting with her bf, today she got a nice present and they all went party, some of our mutual friends didn't want to go as they didn't like her acts nor the old bf of hers. I wonder how long the honeymoon part will last.