smirkee Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 Hi LS, My ex (f19) broke up with me (m21) about a month and a half ago. I talked to her for a week after but she was happy without me so I initiated NC and told her not to text or call. Two week in she texts me about her problems as she always done in the past, and I ignore it. One week after that, she calls me and I ignore it. At this point, I feel like I've gone back to square one because of that false hope feeling. Than a week later, it's Thanksgiving and she calls twice but I ignore it. Now I feel like worse than ever and after getting drunk and talking to my friend, he tells me if I love her than I should go for it and keep trying. Well, the next day I called her back and we set up a meetup where we would get some food together. She said she wasn't interested in rekindling anything but I thought I'd go anyways because hey, people say things like that all the time. After getting food, she brought me along shopping before I left. Everything we did felt the same as before. Three days later, I'm about to call her and tell her that she should give me another chance but my house mate tells me I shouldn't try like that for someone who doesn't love me back the same way. I listened to her, but how do I know for sure I can't fix anything? I called my ex and told her after seeing her that I knew we couldn't just be friends. To stop calling me and texting for anything, even her problems, and definitely not during the Holidays to which she replied, that she totally understands. Even though she said that the last 2 times I told her not to contact me. During that phone call, she told me that she left me because she was hurt. Hurt that I neglected her for so long. I know this is true because in the beginning when we were in high school was when I treated her like a princess. When I got to college, I changed for the worse but I tried to keep the relationship together. I did things no other guy should do, I questioned her beauty and attractiveness to her face which said that damaged her ego. She also said I changed, that I stopped doing things like telling her she was beautiful everyday, asking for photos, hugging her from behind all the time, and little things like opening the car door for her. It's true I stopped, probably because I wasn't as attracted as I used to be. But I guess this month off to do whatever we wanted made me realize how much she meant to me. When I saw her a month later, it felt like she was the most beautiful person it the world. Just like the first time I asked for her number. She's been dating around and says shes really happy with the way some people treat her. But maybe I'm too late? What do you guys think? Background: We've been together for 3 and a half years and have a lot of history doing many of our first things together. I saw her whenever I got the chance in high school, but when I got to college I had to move two and a half hours away where I came back once every two to three weeks. I've been there for her during her darkest times like when her mother passed away when we were in high school. There's a lot of things I don't think she could ever forget, but I'm afraid she's just going to remember all the bad things. She said she compared the letter I wrote to her when her mom died which was 3 pages long to a letter for Valentines day that I wrote to her last year that was a couple lines long and said I was different. I really wish I could prove and show that I'm still that same guy again. In 5 months if I still feel the same way, I plan to write her another letter on the anniversary of her mothers death a very similar letter. I still remember a lot of what I wrote in that letter and maybe remind her of all the good times we had.
Author smirkee Posted December 5, 2014 Author Posted December 5, 2014 Maybe she needs time away to try new things? I'm sure the next guy is going to treat her better because I fell off for about two years and that's probably all shes going to remember.
Chi townD Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 Dude, let this one go. You DEFINITELY weren't Boyfriend of the year. But, learn from your mistakes and apply them as what NOT to do for your next relationship. Another thing to note. Your 21 and she's 19. You're becoming more mature and are understanding of more responsibilities that are being placed on you at college. You're not in high school anymore. You're not that love sick puppy dog responding to puppy love. I'm sorry to say this, but you two are heading off in two different directions. And that's normal! It's a part of growing up and getting to know the new people we're becoming. Hang in there. But, you need to let it go.
Author smirkee Posted December 5, 2014 Author Posted December 5, 2014 It feels so hard to let go because I compare her to my friends and dates that I've gone on. It seems like I'm not going to find someone like that again. I just got a nice job offer in Norcal (I live in Socal) but I feel like if I could sacrifice my success for her again, I would. I'm thinking pretty pettily, I know. I kind of wish I chose to stay close to her instead of move away when college came around. Long distance didn't get to her but it got to me. Which is why I wanted to try again in 5 months and write that letter. I still have time to accept the offer and if she would give me the chance at the time, I'd drop the job and find a lower paying one.
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