Cheaters' scripted responses after DD.

[Arieswoman]

Does anyone else think cheaters all have the same script?

 

Here is a list of all the comments my exH made after DD, during the month before he left. This was after I had started the divorce proceedings (in no particular order)

 

1. I wish I could turn the clock back.

2. It's not fair, lots of guys at work do it and the first time I did it I got caught.

3. I think you would have liked X (OW) and got on with her, if you had met her under normal circumstances.

4. Lots of divorced people make love every time they meet up. (WTF?)

5. It was a distraction until things got better at home.

6. I told myself it didn't matter because we were going to split up anyway.

7. She looks after herself.

8. We (him & OW) don't talk but we communicate.

9. We (him & OW) were always saying how awful it was to have this wonderful relationship with so much guilt.

10. I knew it was wrong but I never though you would find out.

11. I really wanted to tell you about it.

12. She (OW) says that she doesn't want to fight you for me, and if we wanted to make a go of it she would go away.

13. She (OW) says she's sorry and she'll come round and let you hit her if it would make you feel any better.

14. She (OW) says that if you tell her mother or her fiance she'll kill you.

15. I don't love you any more but I still care about you.

16. I couldn't live up to your high standards.

17. You were too independent, I couldn't do anything for you. ( ! )

 

Confused? So was I.

 

IMO this shows the ramblings of a very confused mind, which is why I have always said that cheaters have a problem with logical thought.

 

From talking to other women I gather that the cheaters seem to all have the same script.

 

Anyone else heard all/any of these pearlers?

[DKT3]

Yeah, I heard a few of those.

 

Along with,

 

It had nothing to do with you

 

It meant nothing

 

I didnt want this to happen, but it did and I cant change it now

 

I think every BS here has heard a combination of what we listed here. Amazing how they all come up with the same stuff.

[DbleBetrayal]

I had the "I wish I could turn back time" one. Sure. More like "I wish I never told my mate with the big mouth".

 

also-

 

My WH was pretty straight up and his only explanation was "I f#@ked up". He's also once said I should "get over it". He only ever said that one once, because I went ape sh**. He also said the old "but she cracked on to me first". (as if it mattered who did what first the end result is the same sh^t). When I split when I first found out, it was "She means nothing to me" and "I don't care about her, it's you I love". :sick:

[Arieswoman]

DblBetrayal

 

More like "I wish I never told my mate with the big mouth".

 

I think that's funny - sorry

[DbleBetrayal]

13. She (OW) says she's sorry and she'll come round and let you hit her if it would make you feel any better.

 

 

I actually wouldn't have mind having this option presented to me!

[jm2013]

I had the "I wish I could turn back time" one. Sure. More like "I wish I never told my mate with the big mouth".

 

also-

 

My WH was pretty straight up and his only explanation was "I f#@ked up". He's also once said I should "get over it". He only ever said that one once, because I went ape sh**. He also said the old "but she cracked on to me first". (as if it mattered who did what first the end result is the same sh^t). When I split when I first found out, it was "She means nothing to me" and "I don't care about her, it's you I love". :sick:

 

The only one I got from the original list was I wish I could take it back. I also got the "get over it" and "just don't think about it". I remember my WW saying that and I'm sure I had a glazed over look on my face like what the hell did you just say to me? At some points I felt like I scripted what my WW was "supposed" to say. I would find myself correcting her and saying - "I can't believe you just said X it makes you sound terrible. You should have said Y and Z".

[Mal78]

Does anyone else think cheaters all have the same script?

 

Here is a list of all the comments my exH made after DD, during the month before he left. This was after I had started the divorce proceedings (in no particular order)

 

1. I wish I could turn the clock back.

2. It's not fair, lots of guys at work do it and the first time I did it I got caught.

3. I think you would have liked X (OW) and got on with her, if you had met her under normal circumstances.

4. Lots of divorced people make love every time they meet up. (WTF?)

5. It was a distraction until things got better at home.

6. I told myself it didn't matter because we were going to split up anyway.

7. She looks after herself.

8. We (him & OW) don't talk but we communicate.

9. We (him & OW) were always saying how awful it was to have this wonderful relationship with so much guilt.

10. I knew it was wrong but I never though you would find out.

11. I really wanted to tell you about it.

12. She (OW) says that she doesn't want to fight you for me, and if we wanted to make a go of it she would go away.

13. She (OW) says she's sorry and she'll come round and let you hit her if it would make you feel any better.

14. She (OW) says that if you tell her mother or her fiance she'll kill you.

15. I don't love you any more but I still care about you.

16. I couldn't live up to your high standards.

17. You were too independent, I couldn't do anything for you. ( ! )

 

Confused? So was I.

 

IMO this shows the ramblings of a very confused mind, which is why I have always said that cheaters have a problem with logical thought.

 

From talking to other women I gather that the cheaters seem to all have the same script.

 

Anyone else heard all/any of these pearlers?

 

Classic, "I got caught" script.

 

It also sounds like the ramblings of a Narcisist. I REALLY hope this relationship is done. He has rationalized every which way to justify this affair. He is not remorseful. They both got off on the guilt. If he had the opportunity again he would gobble it up in a heartbeat.

 

I'm sorry.

[gettingstronger]

The "you would have liked her...." made me want to throat punch my husband- my instant response was I am not friends with known cheaters and it pains me to be married to one- that stopped him dead in his tracks-

 

I had a few of the others as well but the one I hate the most is "I always loved you even if I did a bad job showing it"- WTF that one makes me go off every time-

[Red123]

Does anyone else think cheaters all have the same script?

 

Here is a list of all the comments my exH made after DD, during the month before he left. This was after I had started the divorce proceedings (in no particular order)

 

1. I wish I could turn the clock back.

2. It's not fair, lots of guys at work do it and the first time I did it I got caught.

3. I think you would have liked X (OW) and got on with her, if you had met her under normal circumstances.

4. Lots of divorced people make love every time they meet up. (WTF?)

5. It was a distraction until things got better at home.

6. I told myself it didn't matter because we were going to split up anyway.

7. She looks after herself.

8. We (him & OW) don't talk but we communicate.

9. We (him & OW) were always saying how awful it was to have this wonderful relationship with so much guilt.

10. I knew it was wrong but I never though you would find out.

11. I really wanted to tell you about it.

12. She (OW) says that she doesn't want to fight you for me, and if we wanted to make a go of it she would go away.

13. She (OW) says she's sorry and she'll come round and let you hit her if it would make you feel any better.

14. She (OW) says that if you tell her mother or her fiance she'll kill you.

15. I don't love you any more but I still care about you.

16. I couldn't live up to your high standards.

17. You were too independent, I couldn't do anything for you. ( ! )

 

Confused? So was I.

 

IMO this shows the ramblings of a very confused mind, which is why I have always said that cheaters have a problem with logical thought.

 

From talking to other women I gather that the cheaters seem to all have the same script.

 

Anyone else heard all/any of these pearlers?

 

I got 1 6(this was true, we were headed there for sure) 10 and 11. 13 and 14 are messed up. I would have loved to have 13 lol. I think confused mind is an understatement. Healthy minded people don't talk/think like this.

[Lokin4AReason]

either way you look at it, its wrong on cheating on someone ....

[LifesontheUp]

I got the "prove it". So when I did, I then got "she's my crutch, I cannot live without her".

 

I also got "you'd never forgive me". Well yes I found out that's true, hence my divorce

[Arieswoman]

Mal78,

Yes, I divorced him years ago and he's still with AP, so I guess he's her problem now. I almost feel sorry for her

 

I always thought he was narcissistic and it has been confirmed to me several times....

[Chi townD]

I also love the:

 

 

"He isn't the reason why I'm breaking up and leaving you." Uh huh....rriigghhtt!!!

[Mr. Lucky]

Here is a list of all the comments my exH made after DD, during the month before he left. This was after I had started the divorce proceedings

 

The divorcing BS gets a different script than the reconciling BS. The BS that wants to stay married hears:

 

1). I only slept with him/her once

2). I didn't enjoy it

3). I only had sex to keep him/her around

4). We never said "I love you"

5). We said "I love you" but didn't mean it

6). It was only physical, the emotional didn't matter

 

followed a week later by:

 

7). It was only emotional, the physical didn't matter

 

Etc, etc. etc...

 

Mr. Lucky

[No Limit]

So many people, and all of them equally as stupid when it comes to making excuses...

[HereNorThere]

It's the "scripts" and similar behavior and excuses that show cheating is more closely related to a certain personality type or trait and opposed to being situational.