Wanted

[disconcertainly]

I am posting my list of everything I want in a man (not a boy)! Its just my rant for today so feel free lo leave your list of what you want in a mate.

 

Must :

Treat me with respect

Watch my girl movies and pretend he likes it out of respect for me

Do like things (orange tic tacs are my fav)

Understand my point of view

Be smart

Have a job

Have a car

Please no moms boys

Not let mom come clean your apt

Do tell me how important I am

Understand what a real relationship is

No bars...unless we are together...(whats the point of going to a bar if you are not single anyway)

Not cheat

Not talk to ex girl friends or text msg them

Surprise me

Like and enjoy sex

Give oral as much or more than I give oral to him

And Always love me and make me feel loved!

 

Sorry that my rant for today!

Thanks

[laRubiaBonita]

the difficult thing for me when making these lists is knowing that i will also be expected to maintain my end too....... i expect myself to.

therefore i do not make lists.

[slimjim]

as usual with you women, its all about you. whats up with one of your "emotional needs" to be that he has to watch something he may like like, and tell you he likes it?? why would you want somebody you love to have to endure something that they might not like?? what if he wanted you to go somewhere that you hated-- i bet that would be interpreted in your world as disrespect, because he knew or should have known that you hated that activity. oh, i forgot, its all about "respecting you". i guess if he didnt continuously kiss your ass and have to reaffirm your lack of self esteem , then its all his fault, and he has no idea of what a real relationship is.

 

i agree with the job and cleaning thing.....and i guess the car is a chick magnet in this case, since that is one of your "requirements". what if you like to give oral and he doesnt?? i guess thats a deal breaker, so make sure yu hold back if you dont get enough---keep that passive aggressive crap going and you will always succeed in your relationships. just remember, never settle, and its always about you!!!! Maybe one day you will find someone who you love more than yourself, and your actions will most likely be reciprocated.

 

 

sorry, just my rant.

[7on]

All I need is someone who will love me as much as I love her. And of course I'd have to be physically attracted to her too.

 

(PS. orange tictacs are my fav as well ;P)

[disconcertainly]

Originally posted by slimjim

as usual with you women, its all about you. whats up with one of your "emotional needs" to be that he has to watch something he may like like, and tell you he likes it?? why would you want somebody you love to have to endure something that they might not like?? what if he wanted you to go somewhere that you hated-- i bet that would be interpreted in your world as disrespect, because he knew or should have known that you hated that activity. oh, i forgot, its all about "respecting you". i guess if he didnt continuously kiss your ass and have to reaffirm your lack of self esteem , then its all his fault, and he has no idea of what a real relationship is.

 

i agree with the job and cleaning thing.....and i guess the car is a chick magnet in this case, since that is one of your "requirements". what if you like to give oral and he doesnt?? i guess thats a deal breaker, so make sure yu hold back if you dont get enough---keep that passive aggressive crap going and you will always succeed in your relationships. just remember, never settle, and its always about you!!!! Maybe one day you will find someone who you love more than yourself, and your actions will most likely be reciprocated.

 

 

sorry, just my rant.

I will expect my man to sit and watch my movies with me without being rude and making comments on how much he hates it and blah blah blah! I watch his war movies and horror flicks do he should do the same for me!

[slimjim]

ok, how about this?? instead of "requiring' your SO to have to endure something that he hates, why not just say, "you dont have to watch this if you would like to do something else." then you can do the same when the war flicks come on. instead of this crap where you want each other to suffer so as to show his "respect" for you. If i love someone, i wouldnt want them to suffer thru anything, especially anything as ludicrious and superficial as a stupid f....ing movie, just to massage my own ego.

 

you have to compromise on many things in a relationship--just dont have the big 'deal breaker' be something like having to agonize thru some bull.s..t hoop that you conjer up because you read something defecated by some pent up lesbos in a Cosmo article. focus on the important points, learn what a real relationship consists of, and go from there. if you create all this crap for someone to have to continually shovel to keep your respect, at best they will begin to resent you after a while, and at best you will eventually resent them for being so spineless.

 

 

[disconcertainly]

So slim Jim you are saying....... that a couple should not do things together if only one person likes it? Thats a crock! You should do things for your mate even though you dont want to....you said it yourself its called compromise! Also it can be thought of as respect for the other person.

[slimjim]

ok. so you are saying, that in order to show your respect for someone then you must stomach a lot of crud that your SO KNOWS that you dont like?? dont you think it would be better to do it the other way?? to compromise on the positive side instead of the negative??? NOOOOOO. You had rather knowingly make your SO suffer thru something that you know he doesnt like to satisfy your lack of self esteem. instead of just compromising like 2 rationale adults on your likes or dislikes, you favor the actions of just sticking his head in the crapper, knowing that he doesnt like it. You might like to go shop antiques, and he had rather stick his testicles into a food processor rather than do that, and you know his feelings......but to "prove" himself to you , you demand that he goes with you??? Do you really think that he wont resent the hell out of you at some point??

 

Say his hobby is going to a pig farm on his spare time and masterbating boar hogs to get semen to artificaily inseminate his sows, in search of his dream of developing a fat free pork chop???? Maybe you wouldnt be very interested in that, and maybe , just maybe , you dont share this particular "dream" of his. And if he is aware of your feelings, wouldnt you be greatful if he didnt insist on your participation??

 

everyone has his or her own interests.....if they are just too incompatible in the beginning, then break it off and find someone else. If there are just a few that you dont enjoy together, dont you think it would be better to just go your separate ways on those, and spend time together doing the things you both enjoy??? Compromise to the positive, let the petty hoop jumping go, and enjoy yourself. you can introduce your SO to your hobby or likes, just dont have a cow if he doesnt like them all, and dont insist that he has to do them just to prove himself to you.

 

Name a few of these activities that you want your SO to have to endure in perpetuity inorder for you to get some respect.

[disconcertainly]

Slim:

Please know that in a relationship....certain things are expected from me. you are not my boyfriend and have no clue as to anything that would obtain to my situation. Also, he does not have a "pig farm hobby" so I have nothing to worry about. Part of showing someone you love them is doing things for them! And I do not ask him to watch girl movies with me all the time or do things he does not like to do all the time.....but he does them on occasion and I do things for him on occasion. I can say loudly what I want but I am old enough to realize that what I want is not always practical.

[slimjim]

Originally posted by disconcertainly

I will expect my man to sit and watch my movies with me without being rude and making comments on how much he hates it and blah blah blah! I watch his war movies and horror flicks do he should do the same for me!

 

 

no, i dont know you, but i can read. you seem to make a big deal about something as useless as making someone watch a movie they may not like and enduring it to prove himself to you. sure , you have to do some things you dont like, but you seem to require it when you know its not their cup of tea. this action of obedience and deference to you is some sort of emotional need that you desire to make yourself feel wanted. I guess i have enough self esteem not to want someone i love to ever endure something that I KNOW they hate, just for my sake, so that they have the pressure of always having to re-assure me that i'm loved. Its about loving someone more than yourself, self sacrifice-----you will find that more often than not it is reciprocated.

 

I wouldnt want someone to go somewhere with me if they would not enjoy themselves. Sure, when you first meet someone and before you really get to know them, you will do things that you normally may not do. this is just plain manners, and the alterior motive is to spend time with that person---the venue is really irrelevant. As the relationship progresses, and he finds that you really didnt like the swine orgies, then he wouldnt expect you to attend. Just look at an old married couple with a successful relationship---after time, they still spend time doing things they enjoy together, but they also have activities that they do separately because they are entwined emotionally, and have no need for this reassurance of spousal suffering that you seem to espouse.

 

I hope i'm not your boyfriend....I'm a woman. But as i always say, whats in a name??? never assume. we will just agree to disagree. i'm done. later

[bluetuesday]

disconcertainly

 

i think you're wrong, and somewhat naive.

 

here's why.

 

you are, as slimjim points out, valuing a 'perfect' relationship with a 'perfect' guy on the basis of what you deem to be quantifiable standards (he must give me as much or more oral sex etc). you're also jealous (no contact with exes) and controlling (he must blah blah blah).

 

i wouldn't make my boyfriend sit through something as meaningless as a film i knew he didn't like and expect him to pretend he did. that's not love. it's kindergarten games. if you do this i'll be your best friend. grow up. i can't think of a single, mature, justifiable reason i would do this. just because you sit through his horror flicks is not good enough. you can't build a solid relationship on 'you owe me'.

 

neither would i expect him to make me sit through his endless computer battles against the viet cong. it's crucial for partners to maintain their separate identities. he is not an extension of you. go watch a movie with your girlfriends and let him go to a bar (oh the horror) with his friends.

 

of course look for a partner who is faithful, supportive and honest, but he doesn't show support by agreeing to do stuff you've forced him to do in order to prove he loves you.

 

support is emotional reliance, being there through good and bad, loving each other whatever, taking a person's side, rooting for them from the sidelines. it is valuing you, cherishing you, accepting you. it is allowing someone to be their own person, giving them the freedom to be the best they can be.

 

just remember a great guy is not necessarily the one who tells you every 5 minutes how important you are, but the one who is prepared to spend a lifetime showing you.

[disconcertainly]

I agree with you blue that a guy does not have to tell you every five mins her loves you in order for me to feel loved. However, a great guy should not bring another girl home from a party and hope not to get caught! Or lie or.....oh OK wait thats right my original post was just a rant.....but i guess you guys missed that! I have a relationship with a person that I love very much and you know nothing about it....but thanks!

[soccorsilly]

One day, Betsy was walking down the sidewalk on her way to lunch when she looked up and noticed a new department store. She read the sign which said, "The Man Store." A little curious she stepped inside.

 

In the entryway there was a sign that read:

 

"Welcome to the Man Store! We have four floors with hundreds of types of men that women can sort through and pick out. Feel free to proceed to any floor of your choice. The only restriction is that once you go up a floor you cannot go back down to any lower ones (unless exiting the store). Have fun!!"

 

Now highly intrigued, Betsy decided to check it out. She walked through the front door and inside she found rows and rows of men on display. There was a sign hanging from each man that read: "Has a job and loves kids."

 

Betsy wondered..."Well having a job and also loving kids is a great thing! But I wonder if it gets any better upstairs.

 

So up the escalator she went. On the second floor the signs read: "Has a high paying job, extremely gorgeous, and adores kids."

 

"Wow!" Betsy exclaimed. "This is even better than down below. But I wonder just how good it can get. I'll try the next floor."

 

So on to the third floor she went. On the third floor each sign read: "Has a high paying job, extremely gorgeous, adores children, and has a strong romantic drive." Betsy was extremely excited now. "How much better could you possible get than this! I've just gotta try the last floor!"

 

Once she got to the top floor there was just a single sign at the top of the escalator. It read: "This just proves that women are impossible to please. Goodbye! We hoped you enjoyed your shopping at the Man Store."