HeartbrokenNewbie Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 I met a guy on OLD & we hit it off immediately (we have NEVER met in person)we totally clicked personality wise & had such a laugh, we also seem to be looking for the same thing, however we live quite far apart (80 miles so not undoable) After chatting for a few days he stopped replying & I asked why & he said he was being realistic & thought the distance might be a problem I told him that's fine I accept that & made a little joke & well suddenly we are all chatty again, getting on better each day & things did get very frisky at times with our messages ;-) He is out of the country at the moment for work & our texts continued, he text me when he landed, all through the day/night etc, we send pictures all thw tome & we really seem to feel the same towards each other ... All very nice & it all seems odd that we have never actually met in person.. ! I have found myself thinking more & more about him & I would say the feeling seemed mutual but what he had said in the beginning played on my mind & I was starting to feel a bit attached to him so u decided last night that maybe this was just going to become a head f*ck so I text him & explained how I felt & that maybe he was right in the beginning about the distance (he said that 4 weeks ago tho & things went from strength to strength). I don't want to continue building something for us to never meet properly & I find it weird that I'm thinking so much about someone I have never met! I think it prob would have come a bit out of the blue as things were fine but he never replied to it & its left me really confused as after speaking for that long, 24/7 for weeks & deep as we had and based on the fact he had the same reservations in the beginning I kind of thought he would have wished me well at the very least but he didn't even acknowledge it! I can't lie it hurt a bit & I wondered why he would react like that or should I say not react! Any advice would be welcome x
Poppygoodwill Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 Where I'm from, 80 miles is really not that far, certainly not that far to drive to meet someone you've been spending all that time talking to online. YOu probably did come at him out of the blue a bit, so why not try to regain and just *call* him and suggest meeting up in person to see if there is really relationship potential?
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted December 5, 2014 Author Posted December 5, 2014 I can't call as he's out the country at mo I just can't understand no acknowledgement or best wishes or anything after all that time x
Diezel Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 He did warn you about the distance. I don't know why you are so hurt, you should have just stopped it then and there. None of it is real until you two meet. Consider this a lesson learned. Next time, don't wait a whole month 2
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted December 5, 2014 Author Posted December 5, 2014 Yea I know it's more the fact, after all that he didn't even wish me well or anything at all.. We were in contact 24/7 I just don't get it x
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted December 5, 2014 Author Posted December 5, 2014 And actually I did accept it he then seemed to change his mind & reverted back.. It just seems weird to not even get a good luck etc.. Nothing at all it's almost like he's hurt but I don't think I can quite believe that x
Arieswoman Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 I had a guy from OLD tell me it was "too far" when it was 30 miles !! It's a polite way of saying they aren't interested. Move on and don't wait so long next time. Good luck.
Diezel Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 It's online dating, it's the FADE. You want closure, for some reason from a guy you never met. You might need to apply some thick skin if you are going to venture into OLD.
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted December 5, 2014 Author Posted December 5, 2014 I wish it had been the slow fade but it was the opposite. If anything it was all getting a bit heavy.. Moments before I pretty much ended things he was telling me he was saying really nice stuff x Honestly just surprised after all that there wasn't even a good luck or anything it's like he read it & disappeared x
Brooke02 Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 It's online dating, it's the FADE. You want closure, for some reason from a guy you never met. You might need to apply some thick skin if you are going to venture into OLD. ^^this...and next time if distance is an issue dont start chatting with someone if you know they are far. What is wishing you well gonna do? Would that really make you feel better? I think your just disapointed not hurt, you cant emotionally invest yourself in someone for 30 days without meeting them. Your setting yourself up for dissapointment like you did here. Expect nothing from OLD until it IS something..
Mrin Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 What?!? Ok so things were going along great. He was getting really into you and you into him. You two were texting hot and heavy and then right in this middle of it you flip out and tell him essentially (you know, you were right this will never work) and now you are hurt because he just dropped off the face of the earth? Are you insane? The guy probably feels like the rug was yanked out from under him. Rejected. Trying to figure out what he did wrong when in reality it was what he did right. And you are hurt by his actions or inaction? Wow. I can't tell if this was some sort of "come chase me game" for you or you really honestly wanted to end it with him. Smh
Frank2thepoint Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 Aside from the distance, why didn't you guys meet? Both of you could have met half-way, each travelling only 40 miles.
CarrieT Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 I don't want to continue building something for us to never meet properly & I find it weird that I'm thinking so much about someone I have never met! You already ARE building it into something. That is what the mind does. You have bits and pieces of a person and you are creating the rest of it as you want/hope it to be. The problem will be the reality when/if you two ever meet. When does he come back? Because you should meet as soon as possible to quiet down this ardor your establishing in your brain - and make sure you are not being catfished. 1
beautifulinside2 Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 My boyfriend and I live 45 miles apart and have been dating for 3 months. We also met online. Initially I never dated any one who lived over 30 miles away but he was willing to meet up halfway on our couple of first dates. We see each other about 4 days a week, and it is quite cumbersome, but worth it because we care about each other. It's definitely a commitment financially and time wise., so I can see why someone would decide not to pursue it
Thegreatestthing Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 I really doubt that, he was tentative beforehand,if he gave a sht he would have contacted her just like she did him when he said the same thing. He's not making any effort to keep in communication so I would just move onto others,despite what people are saying it's perfectly natural to develop feelings for people online,it's ok,energy and emotions are in no way confined to time and space,or a persons physical presence. What?!? Ok so things were going along great. He was getting really into you and you into him. You two were texting hot and heavy and then right in this middle of it you flip out and tell him essentially (you know, you were right this will never work) and now you are hurt because he just dropped off the face of the earth? Are you insane? The guy probably feels like the rug was yanked out from under him. Rejected. Trying to figure out what he did wrong when in reality it was what he did right. And you are hurt by his actions or inaction? Wow. I can't tell if this was some sort of "come chase me game" for you or you really honestly wanted to end it with him. Smh
Danda Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 My theory is that he just likes having his ego stroked by being pursued. Everything seemed fine and then he just vanished, waited for you to chase him and then gave you a reason for his sudden, unexplained vanish - but then turned right around, right away, and acted totally against the reason he gave. You're all into him and whatnot and he doesn't even mention ever meeting or anything. He already told you he thought the distance was a problem (which may just be bull, maybe he is actually married or something, who knows) and never stated he had changed his mind about that. He can now make a reasonable case that any disappointment is your own. He has simply been *allowing* you to chat it up with him but it hasn't meant anything. Now you are backing off and that's not stroking his ego. But if he goes dead silent and doesn't respond, maybe you will pursue him yet again, even if just to try to get some closure or something. Keep in mind, as well, that we can be just about anything on the internet. Anyone can read your profile and try to be magically just perfect for you. But if they never actually meet you, you'd be hard pressed to know the difference between fantasy internet persona and the real deal. It just might help you to move on to consider the strong possibility that he's actually not as awesome in real life as he is on the internet. If he really did change his mind about the distance thing, then he will own up to having put the thought in your mind in the first place and reach out to you, pursue you and suggest meeting. You will never know if this is the case unless you go about your way instead of contacting him.
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