JuneJulySeptember Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 I've been trying different ways to meet women but so far it's not worked out. I've thought about stopping OLD a few times but I keep having this illusion that I'll find someone. It might even be holding me back from pursuing better opportunities, so I'm spending less time on it and may stop it completely in the near future. I feel that's the case of the woman having either better options or buyer's remorse. She felt like she wanted to give you a chance, but thought better of it. At least you got a response from the message. The more I think about it, how can women lose by doing OLD? How can any woman not find exactly what they want? Such a powerful, powerful tool.
Phoe Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 The more I think about it, how can women lose by doing OLD? How can any woman not find exactly what they want? Such a powerful, powerful tool. I always see on here how the very prettiest girls won't be messaged, because men think "don't bother". If a large chunk of men aren't messaging her, there's a good chance that she won't find what she's looking for in the ones that do message.
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 I always see on here how the very prettiest girls won't be messaged, because men think "don't bother". If a large chunk of men aren't messaging her, there's a good chance that she won't find what she's looking for in the ones that do message. I can actually see that a little bit. The very hottest women, the 8.5 and up probably don't get any more LEGIT messages than average women because guys figure what is the point. But. None of those women are ever hurting for prospects and if they ever actually approached a man they liked, it'd be over like an early Mike Tyson fight.
kolleamm Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 I always see on here how the very prettiest girls won't be messaged, because men think "don't bother". If a large chunk of men aren't messaging her, there's a good chance that she won't find what she's looking for in the ones that do message. After a while men begin to have a much better sense of who and who not to message, I completely skip over the very attractive profiles, not because I don't think I'm good enough for them but because their inbox is probably getting jammed by those guys who just started OLD and don't know how it works yet. Also attractive women messaging men would probably have a very high success rate so what are they waiting for?
Phoe Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 I can actually see that a little bit. The very hottest women, the 8.5 and up probably don't get any more LEGIT messages than average women because guys figure what is the point. But. None of those women are ever hurting for prospects and if they ever actually approached a man they liked, it'd be over like an early Mike Tyson fight. After a while men begin to have a much better sense of who and who not to message, I completely skip over the very attractive profiles, not because I don't think I'm good enough for them but because their inbox is probably getting jammed by those guys who just started OLD and don't know how it works yet. Also attractive women messaging men would probably have a very high success rate so what are they waiting for? Women get told NOT to approach ALL THE TIME. I made a thread recently about how to approach men. Most told me not to do it. That most men will be put off by it, and that men will think there's something wrong with me if I have to resort to my own approaching. And no surprise, every approach I've made got rejected. Now, I'm not the super attractive woman that is the topic of discussion, but the idea of men thinking women should not approach, is still relevant. Similarly, I rarely get PMs on this forum. One person a month or so, or sometimes none at all. You know what I often get? A totally normal question or conversation, but was preceded by "hey, I've never messaged you before because I don't wanna bother you since you probably get lots of PMs here all the time, but I just wanted to say/ask XYZ". There are a good number of people here who don't pm me because they assume I already get a lot of PMs. You know what that leads to? No one talking to me. Lol. 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 Women get told NOT to approach ALL THE TIME. I made a thread recently about how to approach men. Most told me not to do it. That most men will be put off by it, and that men will think there's something wrong with me if I have to resort to my own approaching. And no surprise, every approach I've made got rejected. If a hot woman approaches an average guy, you think the outcome will be rejection? 1
kolleamm Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 Women get told NOT to approach ALL THE TIME. I made a thread recently about how to approach men. Most told me not to do it. That most men will be put off by it, and that men will think there's something wrong with me if I have to resort to my own approaching. And no surprise, every approach I've made got rejected. Now, I'm not the super attractive woman that is the topic of discussion, but the idea of men thinking women should not approach, is still relevant. Similarly, I rarely get PMs on this forum. One person a month or so, or sometimes none at all. You know what I often get? A totally normal question or conversation, but was preceded by "hey, I've never messaged you before because I don't wanna bother you since you probably get lots of PMs here all the time, but I just wanted to say/ask XYZ". There are a good number of people here who don't pm me because they assume I already get a lot of PMs. You know what that leads to? No one talking to me. Lol. You know I've considered messaging people on this site but I think most people would like to keep this site as a safe haven still. A place they can come to to recover.
Phoe Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 If a hot woman approaches an average guy, you think the outcome will be rejection? It doesn't matter what I personally think, men have regularly told me on this site that they will think something is wrong with an attractive woman. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/502832-how-does-woman-succesfully-approach-man That thread has a variety of mixed bag answers
Phoe Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 You know I've considered messaging people on this site but I think most people would like to keep this site as a safe haven still. A place they can come to to recover. A lot of folks PM here. I remember a long time ago there was a thread like "how often do you get PMs" and the responses were astounding. So many people getting lots of PMs all the time. I'd never gotten a PM before, at that time, haha. I posted there that I'd never gotten one, and one female poster sent me a pm saying "hi! Here's your first pm!" Haha, it was cute. I think that the majority of people on this site think PMs are okay to do.
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 It doesn't matter what I personally think, men have regularly told me on this site that they will think something is wrong with an attractive woman. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/502832-how-does-woman-succesfully-approach-man That thread has a variety of mixed bag answers I only saw one man saying that he preferred not to be chased by a woman. I think most men would welcome that. Look. There's speculation and there's truth. Speculation is wondering what will happen if you ask out an average guy if you are an average woman. Truth is reality. If you want truth, then ask me out and see what happens.
kolleamm Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 A lot of folks PM here. I remember a long time ago there was a thread like "how often do you get PMs" and the responses were astounding. So many people getting lots of PMs all the time. I'd never gotten a PM before, at that time, haha. I posted there that I'd never gotten one, and one female poster sent me a pm saying "hi! Here's your first pm!" Haha, it was cute. I think that the majority of people on this site think PMs are okay to do. Dam! I never knew honestly. You hear that ladies I'm open for business hahaha let the flooding commence!
Phoe Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 I only saw one man saying that he preferred not to be chased by a woman. I think most men would welcome that. I saw way more than one say that they don't prefer it.
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 (edited) I saw way more than one say that they don't prefer it. Then don't do it. It's simple. Keep in mind when I say white women reject me, latina women reject me, women reject me for height, it's not because I think hypothetically that it can happen and to psych myself out. It because it has happened. I have approached many white and latina women and have never dated one. And because I see OLD profiles of women who are 4'11" who want men who are at least 5'7". I'm not trying to play a game here. I'm really trying to meet somebody. If you have enough evidence that it won't work, then don't approach them. I mean, it's odds I guess. What are the odds that I find a woman who will not care about height and race? Probably really low. What are the odds that you find a guy who is happy to be asked out by a cute girl like you? I would think high, but who knows? Maybe really low. And if you think so, then don't do it. Edited December 6, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember
GemmaUK Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 And getting to know you? It seems like they break off contact unless you have a fat wallet or they want a hook up. Seems like a big waste of time. I don't even do drinks or dinner anymore. I may come across as cheap meeting for coffee, but I'll let some sucker become a free meal ticket. I actually want to get to know someone, what they like, what makes them who they are, etc. Women think I'm weird because I actually call them first instead of just texting? Really? I guess I'm doomed I'm actually very happy alone. I have great friends, family, pets, a house, I can buy whatever I want when I want, and not wake up one morning to a wife that suddenly wants a divorce because she "wants something different." I totally want to chat and talk on the phone to get to know someone a bit before meeting. Couple of weeks max before a meet though. Longer than that and I would be wondering why.
fred123 Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 I totally want to chat and talk on the phone to get to know someone a bit before meeting. Couple of weeks max before a meet though. Longer than that and I would be wondering why. so girls do wanna chat on the phone to a guy they like before they meet or if they cant meet physically due to geography? do you girls prefer hewring voice than texting?
Phoe Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 so girls do wanna chat on the phone to a guy they like before they meet or if they cant meet physically due to geography? do you girls prefer hewring voice than texting? It varies from person to person. I hate talking on the phone. I'm not fond of phones in general. I'd rather just skip the phone altogether.
fred123 Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 It varies from person to person. I hate talking on the phone. I'm not fond of phones in general. I'd rather just skip the phone altogether. what if you cant physically meet?
GemmaUK Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 so girls do wanna chat on the phone to a guy they like before they meet or if they cant meet physically due to geography? do you girls prefer hewring voice than texting? I prefer the phone to texts.
Phoe Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 what if you cant physically meet? If I could not physically meet someone I wouldn't be talking in the first place. I won't do long distance.
kolleamm Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 1. OLD message 2. Text 3.Phone 4.Video Chat 5.Meet in real life Unless you like rolling dice and wasting money.
Phoe Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 1. OLD message 2. Text 3.Phone 4.Video Chat 5.Meet in real life Unless you like rolling dice and wasting money. I personally would never video chat with someone I don't already know. I don't want my first face to face with someone to be through video. Blegh. 2
kolleamm Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 I personally would never video chat with someone I don't already know. I don't want my first face to face with someone to be through video. Blegh. It's really not that bad I've done it a dozen times. I figure it's way easier to get off a video chat than a real life date.
Rydo Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 I have a load of nice conversations on OLD... Then I arrange to meet after a few days. I actually think OLD is great, I get to meet people I might not normally meet and I'm pretty much guaranteed that they are single and looking to date
Phoe Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 It's really not that bad I've done it a dozen times. I figure it's way easier to get off a video chat than a real life date. My ex asked me to video chat before our first date and I declined. It creeped me out TBH. I told him no, that I would rather meet in person. 1
Rydo Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 My ex asked me to video chat before our first date and I declined. It creeped me out TBH. I told him no, that I would rather meet in person. I agree with the video chat being creepy thing.
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