unc23 Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 Okay, so this Girl who is recently out of a bad relationship started talking to me and then we began to hang out. We spent a bunch of time together and she said she only wanted to be friends. I was honest and said okay but would like to keep door open for more in future. We spent a bunch of time togther for a month or so. We went to state fair together and I felt connected emotionaly. I never kissed her because I never felt it would be what she wanted. Then she asked me if I would be okay with her going out with another guy. I said yes because we were just friends. She comes back and tells me she kissed this guy. I over reacted and told her I had wanted 2 kiss her before but respected her. Then she asked for space and I talked 2 her sister which made it worse. for about 3 weeks we hardly talked and she seemed mad at me. Then 3 days ago we met for supper and lunch yesteday and its like we never missed a beat. We both like country music and the first time we met in over a month she asked me about going to a concert next april with her and her sister. Then she began to cry last night and I held her and let her cry because the other guy didnt work out. My question is she knows how I feel about her but does it sound like she might be open in the future to something more then friends? She told me on the phone a few weeks ago she considers me her best friend. I'm confused. Anyone with advice would be helpful.
Thegreatestthing Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 I really wonder why she told you she kissed some guy,that's a bit interesting. She's said she wants to be friends,I'd avoid her.
Mrin Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 OP's Story in Food: So I went to this Indian restaurant about four months ago. They were like what do you want? I said lobster. They said they don't have lobster but suggested I try the curry and naan. It was ok. I went back the next week and asked for lobster. They said they don't do lobster or ever will. They're not that kind of restaurant. I have my curry and naan and it was ok. I went back again and asked if they had lobster. They said they positively absolutely would not ever never have lobster. So I have my curry and naan. Last week I went there and asked for lobster. They didn't have lobster and would never have lobster because they are a vegetarian restaurant. Do you think if I go there tonight they will have lobster? 1
Author unc23 Posted December 5, 2014 Author Posted December 5, 2014 She was talking to me about it. She tells me everything. We talk for hours on in. We spent 15 hours together once and it seemed like it was only a few minutes to both of us. I'm kinda wondering why she would invite me to a concert that is next year if she tottally had no interst in me at all. She would say things like I look good etc etc. I enjoy hanging out with her and value her friendship but at same time I dont want to dedicate my time to her if their is no chance it could be more. She said she was looking someone who cares for her and I told her I cared but she really didnt seem to have much to say about that but sat their in deep thought.
Mrin Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 OP: I'm going to give you the straight dope. You are the mayor of the friendzone. Hell, you're the President. The Emperor. Just listen to the lady. She's been straight up with you. You're her best friend. She confided in you about kissing another guy. You were there when he broke up with her and held her why she cried. You are her best pal. You've been rejected as a love interest by her outright or passively numerous times. She's given you zero indication that you will be anything but her best friend. Here's the thing. Even if somehow the light caught you once and her heart went a flutter, she'd beat that down until it stopped moving. Why? Because what she has with you as a friend is far more valuable to her than risking it by letting romantic feelings for you blossom inside of her. Look, the one thing she is almost certain of (depending on her age) is that who ever the next Guy is will only be temporary. I'd hazard to guess that 95% of all romantic relationships end. Some after the first date. Some after 20 years of marriage. Hell, I've probably dated (defined as a single romantic date) well over 100 women in my life. How many of them are forever? Zero - save the magnificent lady I am dating now. But a friend, a best friend... man, that can be forever. You can always be there for her. And she can be there for you. And let's assume what you and she are saying is the truth. You guys have a pretty special connection. Able to spend 15 hours together and it seems like minutes - that sort of best friend (particularly in the opposite sex) is rare and precious. Why on earth would she jeopardize it? Women are far more analytical when it comes to valuing friendships. They nurture them. Protect them. She's not going to risk it, no, not ever. So you have to get over her. Stay her friend if you can, but kill off those romantic feelings. I know, it is going to be tough. Maybe go no contact for a while. Maybe forever. Some crosses are too heavy a burden to carry. That's for you to decide. But you need to make peace with yourself and bury your romantic feelings for her permanently. The best way to do that aside from No Contact is to start dating other women. Find some other object for your affections. Channel those feelings elsewhere. I hope this helps and makes sense. Good luck!
Author unc23 Posted December 5, 2014 Author Posted December 5, 2014 OP: I'm going to give you the straight dope. You are the mayor of the friendzone. Hell, you're the President. The Emperor. Just listen to the lady. She's been straight up with you. You're her best friend. She confided in you about kissing another guy. You were there when he broke up with her and held her why she cried. You are her best pal. You've been rejected as a love interest by her outright or passively numerous times. She's given you zero indication that you will be anything but her best friend. Here's the thing. Even if somehow the light caught you once and her heart went a flutter, she'd beat that down until it stopped moving. Why? Because what she has with you as a friend is far more valuable to her than risking it by letting romantic feelings for you blossom inside of her. Look, the one thing she is almost certain of (depending on her age) is that who ever the next Guy is will only be temporary. I'd hazard to guess that 95% of all romantic relationships end. Some after the first date. Some after 20 years of marriage. Hell, I've probably dated (defined as a single romantic date) well over 100 women in my life. How many of them are forever? Zero - save the magnificent lady I am dating now. But a friend, a best friend... man, that can be forever. You can always be there for her. And she can be there for you. And let's assume what you and she are saying is the truth. You guys have a pretty special connection. Able to spend 15 hours together and it seems like minutes - that sort of best friend (particularly in the opposite sex) is rare and precious. Why on earth would she jeopardize it? Women are far more analytical when it comes to valuing friendships. They nurture them. Protect them. She's not going to risk it, no, not ever. So you have to get over her. Stay her friend if you can, but kill off those romantic feelings. I know, it is going to be tough. Maybe go no contact for a while. Maybe forever. Some crosses are too heavy a burden to carry. That's for you to decide. But you need to make peace with yourself and bury your romantic feelings for her permanently. The best way to do that aside from No Contact is to start dating other women. Find some other object for your affections. Channel those feelings elsewhere. I hope this helps and makes sense. Good luck! It helps but I still hold hope something changes in the future.
Jules Dash Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 OP's Story in Food: So I went to this Indian restaurant about four months ago. They were like what do you want? I said lobster. They said they don't have lobster but suggested I try the curry and naan. It was ok. I went back the next week and asked for lobster. They said they don't do lobster or ever will. They're not that kind of restaurant. I have my curry and naan and it was ok. I went back again and asked if they had lobster. They said they positively absolutely would not ever never have lobster. So I have my curry and naan. Last week I went there and asked for lobster. They didn't have lobster and would never have lobster because they are a vegetarian restaurant. Do you think if I go there tonight they will have lobster? You left out the part where another customer came into the Indian restaurant And was successfully served lobster but said the lobster was terrible and he would never eat at that restaurant again. The owner of the restaurant became very upset and was allowed to cry on the shoulder of the customer who was refused to have lobster served to him in the first place.
Diezel Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 It helps but I still hold hope something changes in the future. Said the emotional tampon. 1
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