What do you guys think?

[Ximenarv0104]

Ok so I was in a 6 month relationship with my ex and he ended things 2 months ago. It all started one week before he enters to college I was at his house and I said something and from that time he was acting different I had to go home after and the days went on and I saw that there was a problem between us 4 days later I decided to confront the problem and ask him what was wrong. He told me that he didn't know what his feeling for were anymore and that he thought he just cared alot about me but that he didn't love me anymore. The next day he came by my house and he started to cry I asked him what did he wanted to do and he said that he didn't know but maybe a break would be a good idea so I agreed and he stayed at my place and but he couldn't stop crying (and he's a guy that never cries and he told me he would never cry for a girl) he had to go home but he texted me that night that he didn't think that the break would change something so that I didn't put my hopes up. The next day he still texted me goodmorning and wanted to talk to me but he had to go somewhere so he said he would text me after. There's a site that's called ask.fm where people ask you questions on anonymous and you respond so some guy asked my if he could inbox me on facebook I replied that he could do what he wanted and as soon as it got published my ex texted me ''who's the guy?'' I replied that I didn't know but I would prefer if we didn't text while we were on a break so we both have time to think he said I was right and things continued like that. There's an app called snapchat where you can post a picture of what you're doing and your contacts will see. He never did snapchats but now that we where on a break he did plenty of them to show me how much fun he was having and I did the same (a little immature I know) but well like 4 days later he texted me ''hey'' and we talked a little and I asked him why he was texting me he said that he didn't know. I was starting to have enough of this situation so I asked him if we could talk about it a couple of days later and he said ok we saw each other and he said that he wanted to be with me again but that with college coming it would be harder and that he still wasn't really sure of what he was feeling but that he wanted to be with me to work things out and to see how things would go. He admitted that what I said to him the day that things started to go wrong really hurt him but I explaned to him that I really didn't meant it the way he saw it and that I really did love him. He confessed that he subscribed to Hot or Not and that he started talking to a girl but that it didn't mean nothing and since on snapchat you can see with who you talk the most and she was the one with whom he talked the most he did it a little on purpose to make me a little jealous. So things went on like that for a month.

 

 

During that month he was different, most distant. I know that he was stressed about college and about a bunch of other things. Everytime we saw each other he was mad about something that I did, he was saying the stupidest things like ''couples that love each other should laugh at every joke that the other makes'' when I didn't laugh or ''you should always support me on wathever decision I make'' when he tried to made me believe that he was planning on leaving college and that I said that it wasn't a good idea. He could see that it maked me sad. Some days he wanted to see me, some days he didn't want to see me. The littles things that he did to make me happy he didn't make them anymore. I got sad and started to become a little more clingy that usual (I'm really not clingy at all usually, I just got worried because he wasn't acting the same). We finally talked and decided that things couldn't go on that way but he begged me to give him one more week to decide what he wanted, I agreed. We saw each other that week and he acted like everything was fine and even at one moment we just looked at each other and he smiled and kissed me and we fell asleep in each others arms. I thought that he was happy but still had the feeling that it was over.

 

The day that we had agreed for him to make a decision, he made me wait all day until he finally text me to go meet him outside my house. I already knew what his decision was from that moment. We talked a little about it and he said that he couldn't be with me because he saw that he was hurting me and that he couldn't go on like this hurting me and not knowing what he was feeling because it wasn't fair for me and he still loved me enough and cared about me enough to not do that to me but he didn't love me enough to stay in a relationship with me. He asked me one last kiss and I agreed. We stayed in each other arms for a while and he was starting to cry, I didn't because I knew I had to be strong. We hugged each other to say goodbye and he gave me a kiss on the forehead.

 

The first week went by but and the end of that week there was a football game at the school I go to and he went (knowing perfectly that I go to every single one of the football games and that he would see me there). We saw each other and said hi, the issue was that at the football game plenty of my boy friends came to see me and gave me bunch of hugs and he is a very jealous guy. I didn't reject nothing because I wanted to hurt him a little, but later on I felt bad so I that night I texted him that I was sorry for that and that I knew that it was hard for him too. He replied that it was okay, that it did make him jealous and mad but that he couldn't do nothing about that. He said that he really missed me more that he expected to asked me to send him a text 1 or 2 months later when both of us would have move on (he only had 2 other relationships that lasted 2 months before ours so it didn't took him alot of time to move on from that, the first one cheated on him and the second one he never really cared about her and left her because one day he wake up and was bored and he never loved her so I guess he thought that 2 months later he would be over it) because he didn't want to lose me forever and wanted to keep me as at least a friend. He said that it hurted him alot seeing how beautiful I was I replied that I didn't know what to do but that I really missed him too and that I would do anything to not lose him and to make it work, but he said that he didn't know what to say and that it was better for both of us to move on, that I was the girl that he had loved the most and that I was so important to him but he didn't want to hurt me anymore. I asked him if we had to go completly NC or if we could continue to talk after the breakup. He said that it was up to me, that he didn't think it was a good idea but that if it made me happy he was okay with it even if it would make harder for us to move on. He asked me to wait to the next day to really think about it. The next day I decided not to text him and to go completely NC.

 

The first month we both were a little immature, making snapchats of us having fun and not caring about it at all. I decided to stop and to concentrate on moving on. He went on a little more but he eventually stopped.

 

Later on he started to like things on facebook (he knows that I would see waht he likes on my wall (I know this because he already told me so) ) about loving a girl, about not wanting to hurt someone you love, things related to the things I did when we were together. He then started to like all the pictures from when we were together happy (us with his family, us kissing, us having fun). He started to make snapchats all over again but I decided not to react. Now he's liking all the pictures from girls he knows I don't like and a buuuuunnnnch of pictures with girls in their underwear or showing their butts (he knows that it gets on my nerves), but then again I'm not showing nothing to react.

 

I really don't know what happened, days before that he was saying that I made him the happiest man on earth, that he was pathetically in love with me, that I was all he wanted in a girl, that I drived him crazy. He took me to expensive restaurants even when I tried to convince him to not waste his money and that we could just have a good night home. He talked to me about his problems before he said that I could make him feel better wathever the problem was. He loved me and I'm sure of that. I do know thought that one week before we took a break he subscribed to Hot or Not I don't know if it was GIGS? or something else? I don't plan on contacting him and I can see that I'm moving on but I still am worryied that he will find someone else that could make him happier that I ever did, and asking myself if he does still care?

Edited December 4, 2014 by Ximenarv0104

[Strength in Healing]

These types of things do happen in middle school. Stay strong, move on. As you get older, people will get more mature.

[Ximenarv0104]

I'm in highschool, but I guess you're right. He's starting the next step on something big and I thinks he needs to find out what he wants from now on. I think he thinks we will be friends again and that he will never really lose me but I have no intention of being friends with someone I once fell in love with

[Strength in Healing]

I'm sorry I didn't mean to write middle school, I meant high school. I apologize for that mishap.

 

Anyways, this seems toxic. He clearly is interested in stringing you along while he explores his options. It is sadly very common -- but you have to understand your worth. It isn't your loss, because look at him -- look at how he is playing games with your heart and mind. You are worth more.

 

Half the reason you want him so badly is because he doesn't seem to want you.

 

The best thing you can do is cut him off, his mindset is a cancer that will debilitate you.

 

 

And I commend you for refusing to be friends with an ex. This is mature, and in my opinion, the ONLY option. I am not friends with any ex, and never will be. I also question the mindset of those who are. So good job.

[flitzanu]

yerp. he wants to move on and explore life but wants to string you along and make you feel guilty for his decisions by not wanting to put up with it. i say don't put up with it. move on, cut him out of your life.

[Ximenarv0104]

I know I should move on I'm trying really hard to, talking to other boys, going out with my friends, improving myself, but every now and then I surprise myself wanting him to realize what he is losing. We had a connection, were interested in the same thing, helped the other one to improve himself, being there when times where hard etc. My friends tell me that even if he doesn't comeback (witch they say they are pretty sure he will) he will definetly regret when he gets a little more mature and realizes that you don't just find someone with whom it works and that you love that easily. I'm trying to listen to them because what they say seems much smarter that what I think because since i'm in the situation my thoughts aren't clear

[flitzanu]

you shouldn't live your life wondering and thinking if he is going to come back, and doing things to show him he should regret it, that means you're living under his thumb. do you want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you?

[Ximenarv0104]

I guess not. I would like to understand what hapenned thougt? Everything was doing better than ever