He sent me a text...

[irresolute]

He'll never know I've blocked him! Even in the case he sent me a text (which I highly doubt after his approach on Thursday) the only clue he'll have is that he won't receive the read receipt from me. Is that correct?

[irresolute]

So strange. I never had a high you are talking about. I'm all sadness...

The only emotion I had was after his text when he said he missed me. I was driving to school and suddenly all seemed more colorful. I opened the window of my car and it was raining and i could see a rainbow. I could also smell the rain and the wind, and i felt like it was summer even though it was cold. A warm sensation of happiness that got diluted a few seconds after. Then, the world was grey again and the stupid rain was bothering me so I close the window and started to curse the idiotic traffic.

[mattsdv1986]

I'm at work and cant go into all the advice I want to give you on LS, but if you want to gchat or email me: [email protected], Im online.

[irresolute]

Thanks Matt but I prefer to communicate via LS with all of you guys

 

I was thinking I need to find another source of warm happiness. I wonder what is that powerful and it's not a drug or a toxic love. I want to feel that it's summer again in my heart though I'm not ready for another relationship.

[mammasita]

I don't know about you, but I always feel better when I go get my nails and hair did.

 

When was the last time you took a day for yourself?

[irresolute]

Oh, I do my nails by myself. I'm pretty good at it actually.

Shopping and all that stuff doesn't work for me. I do buy all that I want all the time because I'm a brat

I'm looking for some other spiritual excitement. I guess I need to find it deep inside myself instead of looking for it outside.

[me85]

Oh, I do my nails by myself. I'm pretty good at it actually.

Shopping and all that stuff doesn't work for me. I do buy all that I want all the time because I'm a brat

I'm looking for some other spiritual excitement. I guess I need to find it deep inside myself instead of looking for it outside.

 

Yes you do. If you like to read I recommend Elizabeth Gilbert. She really inspired me. Look up her quotes online. Especially from Eat Pray Love.

[mammasita]

Oh, I do my nails by myself. I'm pretty good at it actually.

Shopping and all that stuff doesn't work for me. I do buy all that I want all the time because I'm a brat

I'm looking for some other spiritual excitement. I guess I need to find it deep inside myself instead of looking for it outside.

 

Gotcha.

 

After my breakup that brought me here, I got into crafting and some home improvement projects. Kept me real busy every weekend for a good 3-4 months and I have things to show for it around my house to this day.

 

I also took a pole dancing class LOL.

[nolanola]

I've only read this one thread of yours, but I wanted to reach out to you because I have been in your shoes. I "dated" a guy for about 3 years who put me through the highest highs and the lowest lows. Now that I have removed myself from him, I can see that it was like a drug addiction. I felt a high when we were together and absolute despair when he would treat me badly (which happened way more than I should have let it). Even after we officially broke up, I was on his hook for 2 1/2 years. Very similar stuff to your situation - he would text every once in a blue moon, I would answer, hate myself, cry, drive my friends crazy, and resolve to never talk to him again. Then it would happen again. Finally, my lowest moment came when he sent me a text that he had intended for another girl. It broke my heart and made me feel like nothing. I knew I had to do something because I was so broken. I resolved to get away from him. I deleted all his numbers, messages, pictures, everything. I quit my part time job so I would have no chance of seeing him anymore. The first few weeks were absolute hell. I didn't think I could make it, but as time went on it hurt a tiny bit less every day. Then one day I realized it was the 6 month anniversary of my NC and I hadn't realized immediately when I woke up. I kept going and now I have been NC for 4 years. Earlier this year, he tried to get back into contact with me and I ignored him without even blinking - I never even considered replying. And if I can get there (I won't even go into the crazy things I did and said when we were interacting...) you can get there. I promise. But no one can tell you when, you just have to decide that enough is enough.

Post on here when you want to call him or text him or when he texts you and you feel like you want to answer. Someone will talk you out of it.

[BC1980]

Oh, I do my nails by myself. I'm pretty good at it actually.

Shopping and all that stuff doesn't work for me. I do buy all that I want all the time because I'm a brat

I'm looking for some other spiritual excitement. I guess I need to find it deep inside myself instead of looking for it outside.

 

There's nothing wrong with looking for love and security from relationships. We are social creatures and meant to have relationships with others. We are meant to feel love with others. That's a normal want and need. You are just looking for love and security from a person who cannot give it to you.

 

You can also find love with your family and friends. When I was going through the worst times after my breakup, I made sure to see friends and family often. It's important to nurture those relationships, so you will have alternate outlets for love when you are not with a significant other. Because there are times in all of our lives when we are single.

[jogoldst]

You guys don't know most of the story because I just cannot write it here, but the things we've done together are way too kinky

 

This guy sounds like a total douche and doesn't know how to treat a woman right. I live in Cali - I'll show you how a woman is really supposed to be treated - you don't deserve to be used and treated like crap.

[SoThatHappened]

I don't know if she meant kinky in a wrong way, jogoldst

[me85]

The best sex I ever had was with my latest ex. So much fun and so hot! I sometimes feel like I'll never have that kind of passion with anyone else ever again but hell, if I don't, I don't...if I do, I do.

[irresolute]

Nolanola: I received a wrong text from him intended for another woman two times. I still thought it was intended for me but he did to make me jealous on purpose. That was my reasoning. And that he was online dating looking for me as well. Absolutely delusional. Still, I thought he added a woman he met on adul friend finder on Facebook to make me jealous. How creepy is that. I'd never want to go back to those crazy times ever again

I pray I never have to deal with him again. I pray I find peace.

[evanescentworld]

.....I'm looking for some other spiritual excitement. I guess I need to find it deep inside myself instead of looking for it outside.

 

I'm not sure 'excitement' is really the right word.... but you're right about the location.

[irresolute]

I just had a nightmare. I woke up crying and it's not even 6 am yet.

He was with a woman. She had short hair and she was thin. Actually, the woman was similar to me. He told me it was a friend. Then I met him again a couple months later and he was with the same woman, she was 6 months pregnant and now her hair was long. I asked if it was with his child. She replied yes. They were both in love.

I started to cry and asking him why, that I wanted to give him a child, that why he didn't chose me. I cried and cried and hit him. I was desperate. He then tried to hug me. But I run away because it was a hug to calm me down. The truth was that he didn't love. And he didn't chose me. It was devastating. Ugh

[DrReplyInRhymes]

I just had a nightmare. I woke up crying and it's not even 6 am yet.

He was with a woman. She had short hair and she was thin. Actually, the woman was similar to me. He told me it was a friend. Then I met him again a couple months later and he was with the same woman, she was 6 months pregnant and now her hair was long. I asked if it was with his child. She replied yes. They were both in love.

I started to cry and asking him why, that I wanted to give him a child, that why he didn't chose me. I cried and cried and hit him. I was desperate. He then tried to hug me. But I run away because it was a hug to calm me down. The truth was that he didn't love. And he didn't chose me. It was devastating. Ugh

 

You are a sweetheart, and you must be of Korean descent I conclude,

My ex was Korean and she always did the peace sign thing too,

But enough of that wench, let's talk about your dream,

And how you should remember it should have no part of your self esteem.

 

I've read your posts, and you are a sweetheart at best.

Your replies show innocence, and obviously, a healing heart not at rest.

Please try to remember, this was all just a dream and not real,

But don't deny yourself his love, even if it was a bit surreal.

 

I don't want to open old wounds, but I think the dream beat me there.

I do want to show, however minute, that we do actually care.

It's a bit sad to hear that he didn't choose you as you say,

And it's even more heart wrenching hearing about you hurting this way.

 

If it helps, and only if it helps you, try to imagine something for me.

Don't try to think he never loved you, but maybe only for a time you see.

I am a firm believer that all good things have to come to an end,

Even if that "good thing" was the love from which you should mend.

 

It's not a bad thing to shout out you once loved this man, and possibly still do.

It's not a bad thing to recognize his actions don't show as much in retrospect for you.

But it is unhealthy, to be affected so much from just a lucid dream,

That you wake up crying and your heart ready to just scream.

 

Take care of yourself, maybe even distract yourself with some friends.

Mend that heart of yours, and just know that this isn't the end.

In fact, no, its a door opened and with abundant dreams to fulfill,

New guys to meet, and be excited when one gives you a thrill.

 

You are hurt, it's perfectly normal, you are not alone.

Those 3 phrases you hear lots, so much so you may even groan.

But after more no-contact, and after some time passes you'll see,

That you deserve more of a man that he could ever promise to be.

 

I generally am an ass, and I generally side with men,

It is a little biased, this you should repeat once again.

But reading over your posts, you're either incredibly naive,

Or just really innocent, and easy to deceive.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I think you should impose some discipline on yourself and stop talking about him, you are keeping this all alive inside of you and giving all your power away to it, you are feeding and fertilizing it, it's up to you to stop, it's not going to just disappear all by itself when you are putting so much into keeping it going!!

[irresolute]

I agree. Thank you Rosebud

[emug]

Don't be his yo-yo...it means nothing, and it should mean nothing to you. Staying in contact will only suck you in emotionally where you're constantly thinking about him.

 

Your only action should be delete...and don't read it!

 

The number one rule of dating is, you can NEVER go back...people don't change...put down the hopeium pipe, and move forward.

[irresolute]

Ok. Gotcha. Let's stop replying to this thread so it'll disappear as well.

Goodbye Johnny