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Posted
True, I think Irresolute will keep talking to herself on LS and whatever anyone says will just fall on deaf ears, regardless of whether she's venting or seeking advice.

 

There will probably come a time when hopefully she gets sick and tired of being sick and tired and then maybe there will be forward progress and a positive push. Maybe some sign of someone at least making a serious effort to move on.

 

Bingo. Nailed it.

 

Real shame too. She deserves better and everyone sees it except her.

Posted

Someday you are going to realize. He's just a guy. He's not the only guy.

 

It's up to you to make the decision to move on . You have to decide whether you want to choose to be happy again .

 

This Johnny seems like a douche bag. Don't you deserve an awesome man?

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Posted

ohh please! I've been listening to all your advice, all the time, what are you talking about???

I'm not here to vent, and I'm a mess right now.

He texted me he miss me. I haven't replied, but I'd like to hear what he has to say. I bet nothing I don't know.

What I'm asking myself is why he bothers if he only wants sex. Sex is easy and he's hot, I bet he has a lot of options. Then why...He knows I was in love with him, that he hurt me a lot, that I blocked from Facebook...Why? Why?

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Posted
Bingo. Nailed it.

 

Real shame too. She deserves better and everyone sees it except her.

 

Please, stop with that, it makes me sad. I'm sick of feeling sick, but I don't see any hope. I've tried to date this other guy, nice guy, we have everything in common, he was a gentleman, invited me for dinner, and then for lunch (and I cancelled on him), and I felt nothing and only felt miserable because I missed J.

Posted (edited)

Okay, so what? He messaged you. You responded.

 

Restart from day one as if it didn't happen and start NC again.

 

I lurk this forum a lot and I see sometimes you provide people advice on how to handle their breakups and how they are feelings. Some of the advice you have given SHOWS you know what is the "right" move and the "wrong" move to get over this and move on forever. If those people took your advice, they would be on the road to recovery and feeling better about themselves. Unfortunately, you aren't at that stage to make that leap yourself.

 

Getting back with an ex is never the same. The trust is broken and your confidence gets shattered based off of what has happened / what was said in the past. In a way, I kind of wish you would end up with him again so you could stop romanticizing who he is and what you used to have.

 

This isn't to hurt you or upset you by me saying this, but you need to regain your confident and self control. No guy is going to want to be with you if you continue down this path and continue to not pull yourself together. Now you have to ask yourself this...do you want to:

 

1) Improve yourself, try something different and learn to be happy by yourself

2) Continue down your path and be unhappy and/or rely on someone else for happiness

 

Remember, a relationship is supposed to enhance your life, not make it. This past relationship, from what I've seen from you, seemed to be your everything and MADE your life rather enhancing it. Its a good lesson to learn...I can find a million positives with your situation even though you can't. There is so many ways you can look at this and learn how to improve for the next special guy who comes in your life so you won't make the same mistakes and will be ready to give it your all. Your situation could be significantly worse - be grateful it isn't :).

Edited by lauri
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Posted

Why I'm still feeling miserable after his texts? I'd like to tell him what I think of him:

that he's a player, that he deceived me, that he laugh at me because I was naive, that he played me a lot of times...He is not what I wanted him to be. He is an illusion and that makes me feel so sad.

Why he popped into my life when I blocked him, why? He knows I'm drama, he knows I'll get crazy when he'll start to withdraw like he always do...

Posted
Why I'm still feeling miserable after his texts? I'd like to tell him what I think of him:

that he's a player, that he deceived me, that he laugh at me because I was naive, that he played me a lot of times...He is not what I wanted him to be. He is an illusion and that makes me feel so sad.

Why he popped into my life when I blocked him, why? He knows I'm drama, he knows I'll get crazy when he'll start to withdraw like he always do...

 

He comes back because he thinks you don't have the strength to tell him no. Its as simple as that.

Posted

"Ohhh please!!" You say you've listened...ok, but have you heard? If so, have you considered?? What have you done besides delete or block him on your phone and social media? I know you dated a guy very briefly. And you're in school & working part time, taking care of pets and your house and running a lot. What else? Anything spiritual and uplifting besides self help books? Not saying self help books aren't healthy positive pass times, they are, but why do you think you're not having any good thoughts about your life without J in it? You don't feel the least bit sense of relief that he's not around to hurt you anymore?? I think it's your ego screwing with you. I've had that same problem and it sucks. Majorly.

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Posted

I have a class in 2 hours, and I have 1 hour drive (same highway I used to take to go to his home) and I'll think about all this. I'm now a mess, but I have changed in all these months. I now it because of the way I've proceeded with the new guy, not sleeping with him, setting boundaries for myself, and making him to wrk for me, because I am a price to win.

 

I don't want to feel used again. I don't want to have to drive home after sleeping with J feeling miserable because I don't know if he's gonna call me again. I don't want to be one of his group of "friends".

 

I guess he texted me to test the waters, and because he was bored...Could that be? Or maybe because he was curious to see what's going on in my life? He asked me if I met someone, which I haven't replied. He doesn't need to know, that's my private life. Oh God, I did change.

Posted

Lol clearly I'm new to this situation, but what exactly happened between you and your ex? I understand it's tempting to answer, but hunny you need to realize you're not going to get anything out of it. How long were u guys dating? When did you guys break up? And why

Posted

Lol if he asked if your seeing someone else you should be like why does it matter and if he says he's just wondering say lol ok

Posted
"Ohhh please!!" You say you've listened...ok, but have you heard? If so, have you considered?? What have you done besides delete or block him on your phone and social media? I know you dated a guy very briefly. And you're in school & working part time, taking care of pets and your house and running a lot. What else? Anything spiritual and uplifting besides self help books? Not saying self help books aren't healthy positive pass times, they are, but why do you think you're not having any good thoughts about your life without J in it? You don't feel the least bit sense of relief that he's not around to hurt you anymore?? I think it's your ego screwing with you. I've had that same problem and it sucks. Majorly.

 

AGRREEEEED. ITS JUST YOUR EGO. As you guys can see on my thread that's like 3 pages long (lol) you can see that it's all my ego. This guy left me because I didn't give him sex and he liked me, but he ended it because he wanted to be single and "explore". Realize that it's your ego girl.... I think your soaking up ur miserableness because that's the only thing you feel to feel closer to him. If he's all these bad thinngs and has all these bad traits, take him leaving you as an opportunity to ask "wait, what have you done for ME?" Be strong.

Posted
ohh please! I've been listening to all your advice, all the time, what are you talking about???

I'm not here to vent, and I'm a mess right now.

He texted me he miss me. I haven't replied, but I'd like to hear what he has to say. I bet nothing I don't know.

What I'm asking myself is why he bothers if he only wants sex. Sex is easy and he's hot, I bet he has a lot of options. Then why...He knows I was in love with him, that he hurt me a lot, that I blocked from Facebook...Why? Why?

 

Because your ane ego boost to him.. Girl. You're CHOOSING to be unhappy. If I had amazing people like this write on my thread and give me amazing advice, is really take it to heart. Not saying you don't... But you seem like you're just hearing and not listening. Were all hear for you but realize that it's to a certain extent. We can all reach out a hand but it's up to you to look at the situation, accept it for what it is, realize that he's not the man for you, realize that you deserve better, and look towards the present and future. Because you're NOT guaranteed another day in this life. You're young and you have so much to live for. Take this as a BLESSING IN DISGUISE. Why don't you write in a journal or see someone to help you cope?

Posted
AGRREEEEED. ITS JUST YOUR EGO. As you guys can see on my thread that's like 3 pages long (lol) you can see that it's all my ego. This guy left me because I didn't give him sex and he liked me, but he ended it because he wanted to be single and "explore". Realize that it's your ego girl.... I think your soaking up ur miserableness because that's the only thing you feel to feel closer to him. If he's all these bad thinngs and has all these bad traits, take him leaving you as an opportunity to ask "wait, what have you done for ME?" Be strong.

 

^^^^^^ THIS^^^^^^ and hey, I've been there in life. It's scary to let go. We don't want to forget but it's inevitable. It's not that we can't let go (because that's a natural order throughout our journey in life) it's that we don't want to. Sometimes when you live with the pain for so long it becomes all you know and you get some sort of major separation anxiety when you try to let go or move on. It's bizarre but it happens to people.

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Posted

irresolute,

 

Let's stop it. Stop lying. You know exactly why you never blocked him. In the silent hope that TODAY would happen and that he'd want to have you back. Whether it was to say NO to him or in the hopes that he'd have a revelation that he wants to be with YOU... this is what you wanted.

 

That's why you've never gotten "over him", because you never wanted to be.

 

Let's not kid yourself about the new guy. You only went on two dates with him. And you never even gave him a chance because you set an unattainable standard for him. That's why when you EMAILED him that you couldn't make, his only response was "No worries".

 

You can never move past someone until you ACCEPT the reality of the situation. Go look at ALL of your threads. They all mention "J" at least once even if the thread has NOTHING to do with him. So you can come on here and play the "victim" card, but the victim card has an expiration date and that was a LONG time ago, because any woman... NAY... any person with any self-worth would realize that a person like J is not worth pining over, specially after all this time.

 

Admit it, admit that a part of you was EXCITED that he texted you back and that you responded right away because you were hoping, praying, grasping for the notion that he might come back... wanting your forgiveness, wanting to be with you, because you were in love with the IDEA of who he could be and not the reality. J doesn't exist. J is a fantasy. J is something that'll never happen.

 

But you don't want to be unplugged from that fantasy. And until you do, you'll never get over J. You're so wrapped into this world of lies, that you think you are fooling us, but you're failing to see that you are only fooling yourself in the long run. He'll come back, use you and run away again. And if that happens, you are NOT the victim. You are an accomplice.

Posted
I hope this feeling of indifference lasts for you.

 

 

That's the thing. Irresolute stated she didn't feel any set back in the moment, but oftentimes it will not hit you until much later.

 

Irresolute, as per your direction, I read into your past posts. This is unequivocally one of the most toxic, delusional and asinine past relationships on BOTH ends that I have seen.

 

Absolute tornado made of flames all around.

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Posted

I changed my number after getting dumped, that way she couldnt text me even if she tried.

 

any contact from a dumper besides "dumping you was the biggest mistake I have ever made, I am begging you for another chance" is just them wasting your time.

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Posted
Why I'm still feeling miserable after his texts? I'd like to tell him what I think of him:

that he's a player, that he deceived me, that he laugh at me because I was naive, that he played me a lot of times...He is not what I wanted him to be. He is an illusion and that makes me feel so sad.

Why he popped into my life when I blocked him, why? He knows I'm drama, he knows I'll get crazy when he'll start to withdraw like he always do...

 

Lets be honest. You never blocked him. You left a door open because you wanted to hear from him.

 

He's come back. You responded. And your posts again sound the same like all your other threads from when you came here about this moron. Same thing over and over again. I hate him. Why does he text me? Does he only wants sex? He said he misses me. I hate him. Does he love me? He deceived me. When does it stop? When?

 

You went from I feel nothing with no high, which I didn't believe to hitting a low again.

 

You self sabotage. You are your own worst enemy.

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Posted

Maybe post in the "post here instead of contacting your ex" vs creating threads. & you know, it really does help not talking about them as much as possible but stopping talking about them aloud altogether.

Posted
ohh please! I've been listening to all your advice, all the time, what are you talking about???

I'm not here to vent, and I'm a mess right now.

He texted me he miss me. I haven't replied, but I'd like to hear what he has to say. I bet nothing I don't know.

What I'm asking myself is why he bothers if he only wants sex. Sex is easy and he's hot, I bet he has a lot of options. Then why...He knows I was in love with him, that he hurt me a lot, that I blocked from Facebook...Why? Why?

 

Because he knows you are an easy target and will require little work to get laid. That fact alone should make you furious and never want to speak to him again. He's only texting you in eventually get sex. He won't come out and say it at first, but he's working his way to it.

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Posted
This no contact is no working for me either!! I'm already screwed up!

Have you read my previous threads??? Someone even called me hot mess!

 

I'm miserable contact or no contact, what's the difference? I'll never be able to heal from this hell I'm on. Seven months no see him and still feeling miserable. Two months strict no contact for what??? I'm unhappy.

 

It took me 11 months since breakup and 6 months nc to finally get to a place where

I would start healing. So nc and press forward. I was the worst there is regarding

hoping etc but if I managed, you can too!

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Posted

It's going to be okay, OP. You're important enough to cherish yourself.

 

 

Hurt people, hurt people.

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Posted

Good morning. I've chosen to ignore him. After he said he missed me, I told him I was going to a class. He asked me what class and that "sexual behavior class is being held at my house tonight" I never replied. What a scumbag.

I'm going to work now.

Posted

You replied to my thread some time ago, OP, about me having an hour phone call with my ex. And I recall you said I was going to have a set back. I think this was a couple of months ago.

 

She didn't call again, I didn't save her number and I didn't have a set back. Probably because I really wanted to move on.

 

You should want to move on from this, even if it takes everything inside of you to do it. You shouldnt allow this to set you back.

 

Best wishes.

Posted
He asked me what class and that "sexual behavior class is being held at my house tonight" .

 

Puke. What a disgusting pig.

 

Block him. And even if he is not in your contacts, manually type it in the block function and be done with this guy once and for all.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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