He sent me a text...

[irresolute]

Johnny just sent me a text...

[mammasita]

Block him!!!!!!!!!!!

[StalwartMind]

You could print it, shred it, then tape it back together, burn it and then have a small funeral in honor of the paper, not the message of course.

[me85]

I thought you "blocked him from your life" ? Unless he texted you "I miss you. I love you. I'm sorry I was such a jerk can we try again?" DO NOT RESPOND.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Oh no …… I hope you have some boundaries and self control though it seems not if you received the text. Did you text him first??

[irresolute]

No, I haven't texted him first. And he wasn't blocked because he wasn't even on my contacts list.

He just asked me how I was doing, that's all. I do have self boundaries.

[me85]

No, I haven't texted him first. And he wasn't blocked because he wasn't even on my contacts list.

He just asked me how I was doing, that's all. I do have self boundaries.

 

So have you replied?

[evanescentworld]

Please tell us you didn't respond, but just deleted it immediately, and blocked the number....

[dumbass2]

How does this make you feel right now?

[irresolute]

I feel nothing right now.

I did replied, without giving him any information about myself, without asking anything back, and he told me he's been the same, complaining about his ex and that he works too much and has no distractions. same old stuff.

That's all. no set back, no nothing. Just a reflection of the person he is, a selfish prick that only cares for himself.

[me85]

I feel nothing right now.

I did replied, without giving him any information about myself, without asking anything back, and he told me he's been the same, complaining about his ex and that he works too much and has no distractions. same old stuff.

That's all. no set back, no nothing. Just a reflection of the person he is, a selfish prick that only cares for himself.

 

I hope this feeling of indifference lasts for you. Are you going to respond anymore to him? Today, tomorrow, or 2 months from now? Are you done?

[evanescentworld]

WHY?? Why, why, why did you respond?

 

Why??

You know what the deal is with NC!! YOU DON'T RESPOND!!

 

What on earth made you break the primary cardinal rule of NC??

 

Jeesh, hun, I'm sorry, don't hate me, but for goodness' sake, why did you even give it the time of day?!? What the hell were you thinking?!

[Zahara]

I feel nothing right now.

I did replied, without giving him any information about myself, without asking anything back, and he told me he's been the same, complaining about his ex and that he works too much and has no distractions. same old stuff.

That's all. no set back, no nothing. Just a reflection of the person he is, a selfish prick that only cares for himself.

 

You've said you have blocked him and when it's questioned, you say he wasn't in your contacts so he was never blocked? Just because he was not in your contacts, it doesn't mean that you should not have blocked him. I believe you left that door open so that he could have access to you.

 

You feel no setback, no nothing -- well it's because you're on a high. He just gave you validation boost so you feel a little elated, elevated and inflated. Come a couple of days, you'll be back wondering if he's going to text, when he is going to text, was that all he was going to text.

[irresolute]

This no contact is no working for me either!! I'm already screwed up!

Have you read my previous threads??? Someone even called me hot mess!

 

I'm miserable contact or no contact, what's the difference? I'll never be able to heal from this hell I'm on. Seven months no see him and still feeling miserable. Two months strict no contact for what??? I'm unhappy.

[me85]

This no contact is no working for me either!! I'm already screwed up!

Have you read my previous threads??? Someone even called me hot mess!

 

I'm miserable contact or no contact, what's the difference? I'll never be able to heal from this hell I'm on. Seven months no see him and still feeling miserable. Two months strict no contact for what??? I'm unhappy.

 

What are you doing everyday? How's work? How's the friends and your friends? Any events going on around you that could take your mind off of J?

[irresolute]

You've said you have blocked him and when it's questioned, you say he wasn't in your contacts so he was never blocked? Just because he was not in your contacts, it doesn't mean that you should not have blocked him. I believe you left that door open so that he could have access to you.

 

You feel no setback, no nothing -- well it's because you're on a high. He just gave you validation boost so you feel a little elated, elevated and inflated. Come a couple of days, you'll be back wondering if he's going to text, when he is going to text, was that all he was going to text.

 

I'm in no high. I had 10 seconds my heart raced when I saw his number, then, again, same old thing.

I never blocked him on my phone because you know, Zahara, that NEVER, in almost 2 years, had sent me a text first. And adding him to my contacts meant I had to type his phone number, with all the triggers that implied.

 

Who the hell cares, I know he's garbage. But I'm already screwed up as well

[evanescentworld]

So you're saying you're a totally hopeless case and you are going to feel this way, for the foreseeable future - even until your life ends, this is absolutely your current and future state of mind, nothing will change, it's useless trying so really, no matter what anyone advises or offers in support, it's not going to work because frankly, this is all there is to life now, and all there ever will be....

 

Is that what you're saying?

 

Sounds like it.....

[irresolute]

What are you doing everyday? How's work? How's the friends and your friends? Any events going on around you that could take your mind off of J?

 

I'm full time student. I work part time. I have a dog, and a cat, and a house to take care of. I run all day. But I'm a hot mess. I could never forgot Johnny, and even now, I wake up i the middle of the night remembering all these two years, and asking myself why he didn't love me.

[me85]

Ya, you're making a choice to be unhappy. Now and in the future. This can't all be because of J...what else is going on in your life?

[irresolute]

So you're saying you're a totally hopeless case and you are going to feel this way, for the foreseeable future - even until your life ends, this is absolutely your current and future state of mind, nothing will change, it's useless trying so really, no matter what anyone advises or offers in support, it's not going to work because frankly, this is all there is to life now, and all there ever will be....

 

Is that what you're saying?

 

Sounds like it.....

 

Sounds horrible, but that is. I bought a book about buddhism and meditation and letting go, and was about to start reading when I received his text. I honestly don't know how I'm gonna be happy again

[me85]

I'm full time student. I work part time. I have a dog, and a cat, and a house to take care of. I run all day. But I'm a hot mess. I could never forgot Johnny, and even now, I wake up i the middle of the night remembering all these two years, and asking myself why he didn't love me.

 

I still ask myself things like that from time to time. It's natural to but you have to find something in your day to day that makes you feel good about yourself. Not saying that the things in your day to day don't make you feel good, I hope they do. If only temporarily. You're putting everything on a time line...we all do this somewhat but it's torture. There's no set time for when we should be over someone. But I really hope you aren't crying a lot and more or less depressed at 7 months. I hope you've made more progress than that emotionally.

[Zahara]

This no contact is no working for me either!! I'm already screwed up!

Have you read my previous threads??? Someone even called me hot mess!

 

I'm miserable contact or no contact, what's the difference? I'll never be able to heal from this hell I'm on. Seven months no see him and still feeling miserable. Two months strict no contact for what??? I'm unhappy.

 

It took me 6 months of STRICT no contact to feel some relief. You use this as an excuse to have contact with this man. Oh, 2 months NC and it hasn't worked so I might as well just entertain contact. It took me about a year to finally be able to move on.

 

You want a quick fix. Quick fix over Johnny. It doesn't work that way. Yes, people called you a hot mess because with mouths bleeding we were all telling you to stay away from dating because you need to 1) fix your self-esteem 2) be alone for awhile 3) stay away from men, but you went ahead and then low and behold you have a meltdown.

 

You don't listen. You do whatever you want to do and then wonder why it isn't working.

Edited December 4, 2014 by Zahara

[me85]

It took me 6 months of STRICT no contact to feel some relief. You use this as an excuse to have contact with this man. Oh, 2 months NC and it hasn't worked so I might as well just entertain contact. It took me about a year to finally be able to move on.

 

You want a quick fix. Quick fix over Johnny. It doesn't work that way. Yes, people called you a hot mess because with mouths bleeding we were all telling you to stay away from dating because you need to 1) fix your self-esteem 2) be alone for awhile 3) stay away from men, but you went ahead and then low and behold you have a meltdown.

 

You don't listen. You do whatever you want to do and then wonder why it isn't working.

 

 

Not that I disagree with you, because I don't...I just think that people are going to do what they're going to do. People ask for advice but they tend to overlook it and then they have to learn the hard way. /=

 

 

I think the OP uses LS the same way a lot of others on here do. To vent. Not to REALLY seek advice.

[evanescentworld]

Sounds horrible, but that is. I bought a book about buddhism and meditation and letting go, and was about to start reading when I received his text. I honestly don't know how I'm gonna be happy again

I would say "Start reading" but - sorry to say this - the words will fall on 'deaf ears', because you are simply not willing to adopt the receptive mind-set required to learn, absorb, appreciate and put it into practice.

Because it's not going to be what you want to hear.

 

Just as a matter of interest - what's the title of the book? (I'm betting it's one by Pema Chodron, though I may be wrong...)

[Zahara]

Not that I disagree with you, because I don't...I just think that people are going to do what they're going to do. People ask for advice but they tend to overlook it and then they have to learn the hard way. /=

 

 

I think the OP uses LS the same way a lot of others on here do. To vent. Not to REALLY seek advice.

 

True, I think Irresolute will keep talking to herself on LS and whatever anyone says will just fall on deaf ears, regardless of whether she's venting or seeking advice.

 

There will probably come a time when hopefully she gets sick and tired of being sick and tired and then maybe there will be forward progress and a positive push. Maybe some sign of someone at least making a serious effort to move on.