FitChick Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 And not just in the past few years due to a poor economy, but for decades. No more lazy journalism quoting the myth of fifty-percent. The NY Times article gives reasons why people are staying married. 1
xxoo Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 Post-feminist movement marriages based on love, not roles, are lasting longer. I'm proud to be in one of the 90s love marriages that are thriving The people who married soon before the feminist movement were caught in the upheaval. They had married someone who was a good match for the postwar culture but the wrong partner after times changed. Modern marriage is more stable because people are again marrying people suitable to the world in which we live. “It’s just love now,” Mr. Wolfers said. “We marry to find our soul mate, rather than a good homemaker or a good earner.” 2
carhill Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 I looked at the chart and it appears the seven year itch is pretty consistent across all year of marriage groups. Of course, people married in the 2000's have a long ways to go to make it to 30 or 40 years of marriage without divorce. It actually makes sense that college graduates (both partners) would have a lower rate of divorce simply due to the combined positives of stronger education, including in interpersonal relating due to that education, as well as higher earnings in general, making the business partnership more attractive to maintain, and greater social status, comparatively, than their less educated peers. Also, besides personal ambition to excel, each partner is aware of the market value of their partner and works diligently to maintain their own status as an attractive and productive partner. Another factor is, with increasing education and pay rates for women as a result of past efforts towards equality in those areas, more choices abound for women who wish to have children but not be married, hence they don't participate in marriage or divorce statistics. The social stigma of 'out of wedlock' birth has diminished and such parents blend in with all the other single parents borne of past and present divorces. Those women can exist across the entire socio-economic spectrum but overall, IMO, tend to be younger, meaning under 40, affecting gross statistics in their demographic. Personally, I'd be happy if folks had marriages like my parents did and grew their life partnerships over a lifetime of interaction. If those divorce statistics continue to decline, and for healthy reasons, no complaints here. We were one of the 15% who died prior to ten but maybe an improved version of the marital partner can negate that. Good on them if they can. 3
littleblackheart Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 (edited) Quotes from the article: 'Some of the decline in divorce clearly stems from the fact that fewer people are getting married — and some of the biggest declines in marriage have come among groups at risk of divorce'. (...) 'The fact that most people live together before marrying means that more ill-fated relationships end in breakups instead of divorce. And the growing acceptance of single-parent families has reduced the number of shotgun marriages'. 'the decline in divorce is concentrated among people with college degrees. For the less educated, divorce rates are closer to those of the peak divorce years.' So divorce rates are actually declining because: -overwhelmingly, marriage rates are declining; fewer people are getting married, especially those most at risk of divorcing - based on facts. -marginally, those who do marry are educated and financially stable + any number of other reasons based on conjecture. That's not particularly reassuring, especially if you don't have a college degree and / or are financially stretched. Edited December 5, 2014 by littleblackheart 4
Gloria25 Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 Oh pleeze, People are "staying married", cuz the economy sucks. Same way people are staying in jobs they hate - no where for them to go and it's "cheaper to keep her". Also, less people are marrying, more people are "playing house/shacking up" now a days. 4
devilish innocent Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that the average age of marriage is rising as well. I came across an article from the early 90s recently that talked about 20-something couples who got divorced before having children. Back then, it was still the norm to get married before you moved in together. Nowadays, many of those same couples would probably just live together and never get married.
carhill Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 Well, the last two weddings I went to found one couple, both professionals in their early thirties, getting married for the first time and the other, one a college graduate and the other going to medical school, both in their late twenties, also getting married for the first time. The first couple, now married nearly two years, just had their first child. Maybe they'll reflect the lower divorce rates for college educated folks and last a long time. I hope so. Great kids, watched them grow up.
ponchsox Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 Marriage is for suckers. You stop getting screwed and then you get screwed.
carhill Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 Ha, had to laugh at that since I got 'screwed' (sex) with great regularity while married then got 'screwed' (financially) in the D. One out of two ain't bad I guess. No regrets on either count. 1
Toodaloo Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 I am beginning to think relationships in general are for suckers... Take that as literally as you want. Reading all this stuff on here really puts you off after all what do you get out of it apart from sex... I am in a bad mood today... Better snap out of it...
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 I don't think that this proves people are marrying their soulmates or are marrying for love. I agree that most women don't need to marry anymore because of finances but there is still the biological drive to be mothers and have a family. Having children in more artificial ways is still quite expensive for an average woman plus there is a social stigma that exists with being a single mother. Social stigma with never being married is still ripe, for both women and men and it's something I live with and have to defend on nearly daily basis. I don't dispute that there are couples that genuinly marry for love and are happy but I think they are still in the minority. 2
dichotomy Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 Reading all this stuff on here really puts you off after all what do you get out of it apart from sex... Are we still talking about marriage?
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