Chi townD Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I agree, massive manipulator. She's putting friends in a awkward position. IF they were truly your friends, they wouldn't let her do that. But, they didn't asked to get thrown in the middle of this either.
Author HurtGator Posted December 9, 2014 Author Posted December 9, 2014 Its so freaking hard. I see her smile and laugh when I run into her in the hallway and it kills me. Sometimes I have to walk out of the building so I could cry. The crappy part about this is that we share many common coworker friends that would hang out during lunch or after work. I am going to lose them.
d0nnivain Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 You aren't going to lose them all. You will have to share them & not hang out in big groups. Most people will understand that after a break up it will be painful for you to be around her. 1
Author HurtGator Posted December 9, 2014 Author Posted December 9, 2014 You aren't going to lose them all. You will have to share them & not hang out in big groups. Most people will understand that after a break up it will be painful for you to be around her. Yes I agree. She's the type of person that is going to always plan something with them and therefore be left out almost all the time.
d0nnivain Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 So learn to plan stuff yourself with your co-workers. 1
Satu Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 You should be civil and polite with her at work - nothing more, and have no contact of any kind outside the work environment.
Author HurtGator Posted December 9, 2014 Author Posted December 9, 2014 Would ignoring her be OK too? Or would that come off as too vindictive?
juicygirl Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Ignore her. Only speak to her if you have give her orders or ask her a work related question. No contact, or in your case limited because you work together. Don't ask anyone information about her and the guy, and if someone is offering it up freely stop them and politely say you don't want to know. Other than that keep busy. Don't sit around crying over her for too long.Plenty more fish in the sea, time to go fish. X 1
Satu Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Would ignoring her be OK too? Or would that come off as too vindictive? I would just treat her with *formal* civility when your working relationship requires it - nothing more or less than that. Outside of that you can ignore her as much as you like.
Mitzimojo Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Have you ever had a co worker who you had to work closely with but didn't really like? Treat her like that. Civil, respectful but that's it. Don't let your emotions get in the way. She is done. That's it. Moping, begging, ignoring her, none of those things will bring her back to you. And she doesn't care whether you are hurt or not so there is no need to remind her of that fact. Do your best to rise above it, act like your normal self, don't let her come between you and your co workers. Act like you are totally past it all. If there was ever a chance that you could get her back, doing this will be the way. You indifference will intrigue her. It's just human nature... Good luck, stay strong, everything is going to be amazing. 2
Elle1975 Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 "Civil", that's the word you want to remember. No need to act like a bitter ex, no need to act like nothing happened either. Hello, thank you, that kind of thing. If she tries to initiate conversation, cut it short, and walk away. If she tries to ask you something like "let's be friend", remind her that while you respect her choice, you have no interest in being friends. Being happy, civil, and independent, will take your further than showing her any kind of interest (may it be negative or positive). The trick is to be constant. 1
Author HurtGator Posted December 11, 2014 Author Posted December 11, 2014 A mutual friend told me that my exgf contacted them and told them that she was giving me space for now? What does that even mean? What would be the point of telling someone that they are giving me space? I didn't ask for space. I also am doing NC even though we work together. I avoid her as much as I can. If I see her, I just ignore her.
lolablue17 Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 Maybe tha's her way to maintain your dignity in front of others. 1
Jimmyjackson Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 Maybe she means giving you space so you can move on and get your emotions under control. 1
Author HurtGator Posted December 11, 2014 Author Posted December 11, 2014 Maybe she means giving you space so you can move on and get your emotions under control. I'm wondering if she's going to reconsider after I had time to get myself under control?
Jimmyjackson Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 I'm wondering if she's going to reconsider after I had time to get myself under control? I would love to say yes she will and make you feel better but the truth is nobody knows. I'm 3 months post break up and a part of me still hopes my ex will change her mind but I doubt she will now. It does get easier with time I can tell you that, just keep ignoring her' it's your best bet if anything is to happen in the future.
Chi townD Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 A mutual friend told me that my exgf contacted them and told them that she was giving me space for now? That's funny. It makes it sound like she still believes she has some control and power over you. 2
Author HurtGator Posted December 11, 2014 Author Posted December 11, 2014 That's funny. It makes it sound like she still believes she has some control and power over you. Yeah, its a strange comment to make. Like she's putting me in timeout or something until she decides to talk to me again or something. lol
erklat Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 Don't believe in that bull****. Whatever she does, she does it from selfish motives only. 2
Author HurtGator Posted December 11, 2014 Author Posted December 11, 2014 Now she has been planning lunches with mutual friends ad not including me at all. She has successfully cut me out from my friends. I can understand her doing this if I broke up with her. But she breaks up with me and then cuts me off from mutual friends. Why would she do that?
EgoJoe Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 You're NC and not begging for her back. Just go you.
Satu Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 A mutual friend told me that my exgf contacted them and told them that she was giving me space for now? What does that even mean? What would be the point of telling someone that they are giving me space? I didn't ask for space. I also am doing NC even though we work together. I avoid her as much as I can. If I see her, I just ignore her. Ask your friends not to pass you any information from or about her. No contact means no indirect contact either.
Itspointless Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 I'm wondering if she's going to reconsider after I had time to get myself under control? I guess you answered your own question here. It sounds to me that she wants to give space because she wants you to move on from her for whatever reason. Second, doesn't that story make her sound considerate? It does right? If you want to keep those friends just plan your own things with them.
Author HurtGator Posted December 11, 2014 Author Posted December 11, 2014 I guess you answered your own question here. It sounds to me that she wants to give space because she wants you to move on from her for whatever reason. Second, doesn't that story make her sound considerate? It does right? If you want to keep those friends just plan your own things with them. How is that being considerate? She cut me off from my friends.
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