My girlfriend is travelling and I kissed someone. She's ended it. What can I do??

[andi18]

So I was seeing a girl for 3/4 months and it was amazing and we both told each other how we loved each other which I NEVER do and I never fall in love. But during this whole time, we always knew it was going to end because she was leaving to travel for a year with her friend and this had been booked way before we got together.

 

When she left I was a complete mess, I missed her so much and spent most of my time in bed. I asked her to wait some time before hooking up with anyone just because it was so painful for me. At this point I didnt really know if we were meant to be in a long distance relationship or not. We had spoke about the possibility of me coming to meet her while travelling but I thought we were just being silly. I think we had both agreed we would wait 8 weeks before deciding what we were going to do. Then I went on a holiday myself 3 weeks after she was gone and ended up very briefly kissing a girl when I was very drunk. I think I was trying to prove to myself I wasnt so pathetic for being so miserable without the girl I love.and so when I kissed this girl I just tried to pretend it didnt happen.

 

A few weeks later we both agreed that we still loved each other and that I would seriously consider coming to meet her in a couple of months time. I eventually booked my flights and I was so excited and so was she, and thats when I knew we were in a long term relationship and she was my girlfriend. A couple of times she asked me about that holiday and if I had ever been with anyone since she left but it was such a meaningless **** kiss that I didnt want to tell her, so I blatantly lied to her purely because I love her and know it would have been over if I did. Then last night my guilt took over and I had to tell her because I dont want to have any secrets if I am planning to spend 4 months travelling with her.

 

Shes been away 4 months and I am meant to be going to meet her after christmas but now she says she can't forgive me for lying to her for so long and so blatantly. She says she has spent the last 4 months rejecting guys and hasnt ever considered doing ANYTHING while shes travelling so I have wasted her time and I am exactly the same as every other dickhead guy. I think its over and I am now clueless to what I am meant to do. She thought I was perfect and now I've ruined everything for the sake of a ****ty drunken kiss months ago.

 

I am working 2 jobs to pay for this trip I have paid for injections and my flights and a new camera and I am literally head over heels in love with this girl and shes just basically ended it. How can I get her back if I cant actually be near her or speak to her??

 

 

Sorry for the long post. I am having a complete mental break down over here.

[d0nnivain]

It is much harder to forgive cheating when the people are long distance. She has no way to keep & eye on you & the girls who are right there can offer physical comforts she cannot.

 

Cancel your tickets sooner rather than later so you can get the maximum credits from the airlines for future travel somewhere else.

 

When she comes home, perhaps you can try again but by then both of you may have met other people.

[Standard-Fare]

I think she's overreacting and there may be a chance she'll come to her senses. Either that, or she's looking for an excuse to end this thing, and you've given her that.

 

Is there a way you can explain to her the situation in exactly the way you've explained it here? Because it all seems pretty reasonable to me.

 

I think you should give her a little/time space but then approach her again, try again at a sincere apology/explanation, and after that... see what she wants you to do about the travel plans. Make her be the one to decide what happens with those. Hopefully she realizes what a big decision she's making.

[justwhoiam]

How can I get her back if I cant actually be near her or speak to her??

You genuinely say sorry like a dozen times, you tell her you love her so much and really do want to spend time with her, but you understand the way she feels now, because you were a jerk. You tell her that you were being so negative and thought she was going to end it with you, and that made you so depressed that you got drunk. You say sorry again.

You tell her that she has all the reasons in the world to be mad at you, but you want to make it up to her and gain her trust again. Tell her that you can prove your love and you're ready to pay the price for what you did. No matter how high a price, and that it's in her hands, and you will wait for when she is fine with you again. You tell her to have the time of her life and you will renounce your flight, visit and traveling, if she wants to be alone for the rest of her trip. But if she lets you travel with her, you tell her she can slap you and tell you whatever looking at you right in the eyes...

 

I guess all that might work.