Chuck636333 Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 6 weeks into nc I keep having emotional swings, one day I'm OK and the next I feel really depressed (something I've never really felt). I think I'm at a stage where I'm being logical with myself and would resist the urge if she even did try to come back again. What I want to know...aside from time...how do I get this girl out of my head, it literally haunts me allllllll day.i don't understand how I think about her so much and miss her so much and she doesnt. I want to detach myself from her for my own sake and sanity but I battle with myself to hold onto hope that she will realize what she had but at the same time I tell myself I wouldn't take her back which is a first for me...very confused and getting extremely frustrated at myself. ..who knew your brain could argue with itself.
David87 Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 If you keep yourself busy you won't have time to think about her that much.
Light Breeze Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 Yeah, I think getting busy is a good way to deflect thoughts about her. i tried that and it works. However, when I bcome alone or at night before sleep the loss just hits you face on . I hope time would just speed up the healing for all our sakes. I feel you man.
Lugoj89 Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 I'm going through the same thing. Monday through Friday I'm great because work takes up so much time but when the weekend comes it hits me. I'm alone in the apartment we once shared. When it hits me I go on here and read what other people are going through. I also read a book called it's called a break up not a break down. Makes me see how wrong the relationship was for me and how much I wanted it to be over. We forget how bad it really was being with that person. Whether it was the little fights or the fact they didn't give it their all. You need to be on the same level. Keep thinking about why it didn't work out. You'll find reasons to why he needed to be over.
Author Chuck636333 Posted December 4, 2014 Author Posted December 4, 2014 I'm going through the same thing. Monday through Friday I'm great because work takes up so much time but when the weekend comes it hits me. I'm alone in the apartment we once shared. When it hits me I go on here and read what other people are going through. I also read a book called it's called a break up not a break down. Makes me see how wrong the relationship was for me and how much I wanted it to be over. We forget how bad it really was being with that person. Whether it was the little fights or the fact they didn't give it their all. You need to be on the same level. Keep thinking about why it didn't work out. You'll find reasons to why he needed to be over. Pretty amazing how blind love makes you to things you would normally find repulsive. Or how one person can crap on your heart or treat you like garbage in the relationship and you still feel terrible when they leave you and it seems like they feel nothing. Yet without the proper amount of time (if you're like me) you'd let them right back in to do it all again...seems like the heart doesn't have the healthiest decisions in mind
Lugoj89 Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 It always blows my mind how cold and mean they can be at the second of the breakup. I never get it. I always break down and start asking a million questions but the second he left. I cried for a good 2 minutes stopped and said bye. You want to turn into an ******* now go for it but in a few weeks when you contact me I wont respond.
The Poster Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 If you keep yourself busy you won't have time to think about her that much. This is everyone's first piece of advice, but I find that it doesn't really work for me. No matter how busy I am, I still can't stop thinking about her. I'll be out playing an intense football game, and I'll still be thinking about her. Wishing she was there watching me play. Sigh.
mav3rik Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 This is everyone's first piece of advice, but I find that it doesn't really work for me. No matter how busy I am, I still can't stop thinking about her. I'll be out playing an intense football game, and I'll still be thinking about her. Wishing she was there watching me play. Sigh. I agree to this. After we broke up, I did a lot of outdoor stuff. I went rock climbing and scuba diving almost every weekend and all I can think of was sharing the moment with her. Imagining her climbing there with me or diving together. Only happened on the early stages though. I haven't thought about my ex for i don't know how long now.. (except for this moment, while typing this, but it doesn't hurt anymore) lol
Author Chuck636333 Posted December 4, 2014 Author Posted December 4, 2014 I agree to this. After we broke up, I did a lot of outdoor stuff. I went rock climbing and scuba diving almost every weekend and all I can think of was sharing the moment with her. Imagining her climbing there with me or diving together. Only happened on the early stages though. I haven't thought about my ex for i don't know how long now.. (except for this moment, while typing this, but it doesn't hurt anymore) lol I 2nd that...no matter what I'm doing or if something good or bad happens it always goes straight back to her.it really sucks.really trusted her to not do this to me...foolishly. still kinda mind blown even 2 months after breakup
Author Chuck636333 Posted December 4, 2014 Author Posted December 4, 2014 Worst part is I'm not even interested in meeting other women...I've always seen other females as attractive but suddenly not at all...We've broken up before and it was never this bad we were together 7 years and I don't love her any more or less than the last time...maybe it's the way she left or just wanting my best friend or maybe just wanting what I can't have...I don't know but I feel like I won't have that same connection and feeling and comfortability I had
Author Chuck636333 Posted December 4, 2014 Author Posted December 4, 2014 All I wanna do is call and talk:( but I know it wouldn't be anything I wanna hear and would set me back even further. ..plus I'm trying to hold the impression that this isn't bothering me and I'm sitting around clammering for her:( ugh!
mav3rik Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 Worst part is I'm not even interested in meeting other women...I've always seen other females as attractive but suddenly not at all Because you're not ready. I've met a lot of women in the last 2 months, dated a few and I still don't feel like being in a serious relationship. It doesn't mean I'm not over her. I don't know why, either, but all I can think of right now is where I'd want to go next year. I want to travel for now and experience a different culture. That's where my focus is at. Just don't rush into it. You'll meet tons of people in your journey. Being attracted to someone does not equal to being over her or not. Sometimes, even if you have moved on, there's a chance you will still not be attracted to someone on a romantic level. And that's okay.
Author Chuck636333 Posted December 5, 2014 Author Posted December 5, 2014 I have a hard time believing she doesn't love me anymore as she said when she left...is this common, or just a normal feeling?
Light Breeze Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 Just normal, man. Sharing intense emotions with her will cause that denial. You just don't want to believe that after all you had she just tells you she doesn't love you. Then something happens that shakes you up into finally believing it. Personally my trigger was when she told me she was seeing someone three weeks after she broke up with me, at that time it hit me and it sucked.
Author Chuck636333 Posted December 5, 2014 Author Posted December 5, 2014 Ya I honestly won't let my guard fully down again...thinking that your best friend would do this is the farthest thing from your mind...doing to me what I would have never done to her. And in a selfish terrible way
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