Do unattractive women get treated poorly in general?

[LisaSmith_1970]

If a woman is unattractive/unappealing, is it common that people aren't going to want to talk to her/be her friend/invite her out. Will people just enjoy being rude to her for no reason?

[Gloria25]

If a woman is unattractive/unappealing, is it common that people aren't going to want to talk to her/be her friend/invite her out. Will people just enjoy being rude to her for no reason?

 

Answer: Yes

[bubbletea]

Yes... maybe outright rude is not the right word, but they will ignore her and not include her in things.

 

Same goes for a pretty girl whose personality they don't like (i.e. shy/quiet).

[Imported]

They are lucky I don't throw tomatoes at them

 

I'm not going to be rude to someone because I don't think they are attractive.

 

And I am not looking for deep platonic relations with women. Or anyone. Just people I know. And they don't have to be great looking.

 

Now, some women that consider themselves ugly might look at me with scorn and already have defenses up and weapons drawn before I even say a word.

 

I avoid them. Not that it really matters.

 

Shy attractive women have the same problem? No. Unless they're angry shy and hostile. I mean, who wants to be around that?

[sm2281]

Yes... maybe outright rude is not the right word, but they will ignore her and not include her in things.

 

Same goes for a pretty girl whose personality they don't like (i.e. shy/quiet).

I can affirm the pretty shy girl thing. I am not chopped liver but I never get included and men tend to treat me like crap.

[gaius]

Usually depends on how they carry themselves. Just like ugly guys.

[Toodaloo]

Usually depends on how they carry themselves. Just like ugly guys.

 

Second this.

 

When I felt ugly and didn't take much care of myself I was treated like dirt by a lot of people. To put it bluntly they were bleeding me dry and I had nothing left to give.

 

Then one day I woke up realized that actually with a bit of TLC I am quite the looker and quite the catch. I stopped taking all the crap that was being thrown at me. I actually have my bosses to thank for that. Bless them.

 

It was horrible to start with and people accused me of having issues and being mentally unsound but I stuck to my guns and now I get treated with dignity and respect. Some are still a bit stand offish with me but thats fine.

 

It all starts with you and how you treat yourself. Others will follow your example.

[Shepp]

Can't say I've noticed looks affecting friendships in the same way they effect relationships..

 

 

I certainly don't factor my guy friends looks into our friendship, if they're funny, trustworthy and we have stuff in common then they're good by me!

I see plenty of average-unattractive women who have lots of friends and plenty who don't take any **** either.

I don't think being unattractive makes you a push over anymore than being attractive inspires assertiveness.

[most_distant_galaxy]

No. I think what matters the most is how well groomed you are and how self-assured you seem to be.

[StalwartMind]

If your looks can make people avoid you or be rude to you, then be thankful that you've been blessed with the most awesome feature to filter out crappy people of this world. Looks have zero influence on how I treat, perceive or am attracted to a person. I value the personality and individual qualities above all else, as your looks doesn't tell me a sodding thing about how you are.

 

Everyone is of course welcome to judge, treat others as they see fit, I just think I would just be scared if "looks" was the deciding factor with how I interact with other people, because you're not going to look "beautiful/youthful/perfect" forever. Anyway beauty is different to us all and if someone treats anyone poorly based on a personal highly biased/socially influenced mindset, then take joy in knowing the real beautiful people out there would never do so.

[PegNosePete]

Yes... maybe outright rude is not the right word, but they will ignore her and not include her in things.

Because being paid attention and invited to things is some kind of right, rather than a privilege, which everyone should be afforded?

[No Limit]

She's definitely going to feel it in her life. Treated differently to some extent, especially regarding customer service; a few weeks ago I went to the taxi area and one guy just drove up to me while waving the woman that had been waiting there before me to one of his colleagues. Not a gentleman I guess...

[scatterd]

I try to treat any person with respect it does not matter how they look.I go by how I am treated if you treat me with disrespect I will avoid you but what makes me any better then anybody else? Beauty is skin deep and do unto others as you want done unto yourself. If a person treats somebody a certain way because of how they look or maybe not knowing how to act they are considered the one that does not deserve attention. A body is nothing more then a shell. Treat people good and they will treat you good

also.

[beatcuff]

If a woman is unattractive/unappealing, is it common that people aren't going to want to talk to her/be her friend/invite her out. Will people just enjoy being rude to her for no reason?

 

 

No, but good looking women are treated much better/have more leeway.

Edited December 4, 2014 by beatcuff
spelling

[Emilia]

I think it depends. I've seen really big girls being treated pretty badly, not unattractive girls as such.

[carhill]

IMO, in general, no, but, for some people, it doesn't take many specific incidents with specific people to imbue one's psyche with the emotions of feeling generally treated poorly. How many depends on the person. I seriously doubt anyone, no matter gender or level of unattractiveness, is treated overwhelmingly poorly by the entirety of the human species they interact with. Often, we choose what we pay attention to and negative emotions are often far more pronounced than positive ones, meaning emotional memories are more commonly formed by negative emotions.

[Shining One]

I rarely observe them being treated rudely, but they certainly get less or no special treatment. Here's something I see on a regular basis with my staff (which I yell at them for):

 

 

Unattractive woman calls IT Tech directly:

Unattractive Woman: My computer is really slow. Can you help?

IT Tech: Have you contacted tech support? They need to troubleshoot your machine before our team can look at it.

 

 

Attractive woman calls IT tech directly:

Attractive Woman: My computer is broken.

IT Tech: I'll be right there!

[carhill]

Ha, are they using that video call feature?

 

BTW, did you ever catch a glimpse of that lady who did the 'at the tone, the time will be xxx' voice? As a kid, we used to call up time and make up fantasies about the time person. Cheap fun! Back then we didn't have the internet, so we had to guess about attractiveness and it was natural for a male to make the lady as beautiful as possible in his mind. In reality, this is the time lady, Jane Barbe.

 

My general observance is that men my age tend to treat unknown women pretty well. Sure, beautiful ones get more attention but, hey, that's the perks of being beautiful.

[GemmaUK]

I rarely observe them being treated rudely, but they certainly get less or no special treatment. Here's something I see on a regular basis with my staff (which I yell at them for):

 

 

Unattractive woman calls IT Tech directly:

Unattractive Woman: My computer is really slow. Can you help?

IT Tech: Have you contacted tech support? They need to troubleshoot your machine before our team can look at it.

 

 

Attractive woman calls IT tech directly:

Attractive Woman: My computer is broken.

IT Tech: I'll be right there!

 

 

This is my experience that they are helpful always.

Heck! I went to the bank this week with a few bits of paperwork but no ID at all and the guy helped me out massively!

 

 

I always get great service from people. ALWAYS.

I'm mid forties so could not be classed as a 'hottie'. Lol!

 

 

I think it depends on your attitude.

 

 

I did however sack a solicitor once - but I never met him face to face until I demanded my paperwork - he was very apologetic.

[FitChick]

This is something you have more control over than you think. I notice that people respond to me differently depending on my appearance and attitude. If you want people to respond to you more positively, dress better, fix your hair and makeup, and stand up straight. Don't look as if you are waiting to be kicked.

[elaine567]

A lot depends on attitude, some "hot" women are actually not that good looking but act hot, dress hot and demand attention, they tend to get it.

Some beautiful girls, can be left unnoticed, because they succeed in making themselves invisible.

[Phoe]

I think it comes down to the person who is being mean, really.

 

A nice person will be nice to everyone.

 

A mean person might be mean to everyone, or mean to people they think are ugly, or mean to people they think are pretty.

 

I've had people who think I'm ugly be rather mean to me about it. I've also had people who think I'm pretty be mean to me about that. Mean people will be mean!

[LisaSmith_1970]

I think it comes down to the person who is being mean, really.

 

A nice person will be nice to everyone.

 

A mean person might be mean to everyone, or mean to people they think are ugly, or mean to people they think are pretty.

 

I've had people who think I'm ugly be rather mean to me about it. I've also had people who think I'm pretty be mean to me about that. Mean people will be mean!

 

There's been times when I dressed up, wore make-up, got my hair did to a friends wedding and I thought I looked decent and still people ignored me and didn't bother on giving me compliments and no guys looked my way...so. but that might be a different situation, than just going out in public and how strangers treat me.

[Phoe]

There's been times when I dressed up, wore make-up, got my hair did to a friends wedding and I thought I looked decent and still people ignored me and didn't bother on giving me compliments and no guys looked my way...so. but that might be a different situation, than just going out in public and how strangers treat me.

 

Well, it may be best to not "expect" compliments. If I dress up nice I don't expect compliments, nor do I get them (except from my mom, but moms get like that, haha).

 

It's not an indication of something wrong if people are not complimenting you. Most people have very neutral interactions with others, myself included.

 

I don't get compliments, I don't get special treatment, but I don't get kicked around either. I get treated like a normal person, which is what most people probably get 99% of the time.

 

Nothing wrong with it

[StalwartMind]

no guys looked my way

 

I'm not going to say this wasn't the case at your friends wedding, but please do know that it's entirely possible some were looking, but that you perhaps didn't catch it. I more than understand that a lot of people want to be noticed, complimented because it's a part of what makes us feel alive. From personal experience with what others have told me as well as how I am myself, you'd be really surprised at times how someone has noticed you, without you have any idea at all.

 

Not to go into a long ramble about people's personalities etc, I do believe that as Phoe said, it's best not to expect anything really, because you can so easily set yourself up for disappointment. Especially if you want a certain person to notice you, there is the chance you may be overlooking someone whom has noticed you. It's of course all very situational but if I've learned something from my brief time on earth, it's to never underestimate others.