Soccercrazed487 Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 So I woke up this morning to a random text from my ex gf. We've been broken up since the 11th and haven't had contact for 5 or 6 days. I've finally gotten to the point where I have no desire to hear from her unless it involves her apologizes and wanting to reconcile. We had a very respectful breakup, I was very understanding of her desire to be on her own and not knowing whether she wanted to stay together or be single. I was a nervous wreck the first week or so, but I've started to come to terms with the fact that I might not ever get her back. I also found out that her 2nd rebound fell through when the girl decided to go back to her ex. So receiving a message today, just means she's lonely. She does it every time she has issues with a female, she wants my advice and comfort. I'm over it, done being a doormat and a safety net for her. Anyways, I sent her this: She sent me a link on how to get my car to stop steaming up when it rains. Lame, but I've always had issues with it. "Thanks for the link. However, unless you've had a change of heart, there's no point in texting me. I'm moving on with my life and need some time to heal. Maybe in the future we can be friends but for now I can't have you in my life." No response from her, but I think I got my point across. I didn't want to seem like an ass, or be rude, just very to the point. Was this an acceptable way to handle getting her out of my life for a bit until I can properly deal with everything? I want her to still feel like IF she potentially wants to reconcile, I will at least here her out. But I don't want her to think she can simply walk all over me anymore either. Just wanted to get some opinions on whether I handled the situation correctly. Any advice is welcome! 1
Zahara Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 Perfect. You stood up for yourself and made your point clear. Good for you! 1
Author Soccercrazed487 Posted December 4, 2014 Author Posted December 4, 2014 Thanks Zahara. An hour or so after I sent it, I started questioning whether I had been to harsh or not. Its good to know I made my point without being rude. 1
Zahara Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 Thanks Zahara. An hour or so after I sent it, I started questioning whether I had been to harsh or not. Its good to know I made my point without being rude. It wasn't rude at all. Infact, very mature and concise. She ended with you. In comparison, telling her you need to heal is hardly harsh. 1
Satu Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 Your judgment is sound. What you did was absolutely right. Some time for yourself, spending time on yourself, is a very good thing, and will help you to decide what you want your life to be like. Maybe there's a possibility of her being in your life, maybe not. Good luck.
dumbass2 Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 You did the mature things as long as your words will match your actions, so if she contacts you with anything less then what you told her is acceptable, then you have to ignore and not reply at all (not even "I told you not to contact me unless") and you must resist initiating contact with her. If you can do that, then yes, it was definitely the right thing to do and then maybe you can be friends down the road. Stay strong
Author Soccercrazed487 Posted December 4, 2014 Author Posted December 4, 2014 Thanks for all the responses. As much as I adore her, and will always love her. I started this breakup with 100% investment, 100% secure in the fact I wanted to be with her and only her. However, at this point I'm at 60% wanting her, and 40% completely unsure. The questioning what I want is coming with the absence of her in my life. I'm starting to look at things in somewhat of a more neutral perspective, and who knows if I'll even still be even remotely invested in her the more that time passes. I have no intentions of contacting her unless I get the "I'm sorry, I made a mistake, I want to work things out" text. As much as I miss her, I can't think of anything I'd like to say to her at this point. Nothing I say will change her mind, and I don't want to. I want her to realize what she wants on her own and in her own time. If I'm still around, great. IF not, oh well. So no worries on the breaking NC, I'm firm in my decision. My actions will mimic the words she received from me today. It sounds a little crazy, but I feel like there was a power shift today. She knows it and I felt it. She no longer controls me or my emotions. She is no longer a necessity in my life. Whether she's here or not will not break me. Just taking that small bit of control over me out of her hands, has made the world of difference for my mental health and emotional health. I must say I'm feeling pretty good today. 2
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