Did she ever like me?

[theoneandonly16]

Hi, I really need to get this off my chest and get some opinions.

 

3 years ago, i spoke to to this girl for the very first time on Facebook, whom i got to know through another friend.

 

I instantly thought she was attractive and used to talk to her aiming to eventually ask her out. We really got on well instantly and used to have long conversations on everything on the web at night, which we'd take in turns who starts it off.

 

However, I always had the thought at the back of my head on whether she likes me too or just likes me as a "friend" which kept me off from asking her out. This is because she used to send me mixed signals, for example, one day she'd just leave without saying bye, and one day she'd text me saying that my favourite song is on the radio.

 

I didn't meet her too much, as we went to different schools but some day or another we did meet outside a bar or something.

 

Eventually, we just kept talking for about 4 months, with the usual conversations and mixed signals, and one night I decided to tell her what I really felt, that I really liked her, and I just got shot down, as she told me she really enjoys talking to me and looks forward to doing so but doesn't really, see it as anything more.

 

I understood her even though i was a bit hurt, and we kept talking, nothing changed. The usual constant facebook messaging and comments, and one-off real-life encounters. However, another 4 months on, I had enough, I couldn't keep pursuing a girl, that I never met and rejected me. Therefore, I stopped talking to her first myself, however, she spent around a month still talking to me first, and asking whats up with me, and would use previously used nicknames on me. I felt guilty, as I did avoid her, and was blunt whenever she spoke to me, but i couldn't do it anymore, I still liked her. Then one day, she asked why I'm being so cold and I had to be honest. I told her that I gave up, not because she rejected me, but we weren't really friends neither, we just spoke on Facebook, which I thought was pretty lame even though, I loved doing so, most likely because I really liked her.

 

After this conversation, we spent 8 whole months not talking to each other, not even a single time, and we never met. Then in summer we met at a local bar, where we both were a bit tipsy. We spent the whole night together, talking talking and talking, it was the first very long live convo we, one and a half years after talking to her for the first time. She said all the things I wanted to hear; That she rejected me because she was scared, that she always messes up stuff, that she missed talking to me, EVERYTHING. Then, before we left, we kissed, and even agreed to go on a date, and give it a try. She also told me to talk to her again on facebook. I did so, and she was amazing once again, just like the old times, however she then told me that she's in the middle of something and would be best that we do not date, for the both of us. I was devastated, i got shot down by her for the second time. It killed me, I was over the moon one night, and the week after, I was back where I was, rejected. It ended there, but i never really got over her, I know its stupid, because i fell for a girl over the web, and we hardly ever met, but I felt this special connection, and whenever we met it was amazing. Then, just about 2 months ago, I met her at a concert, and went to speak to her, asked her how she was doing at school and stuff. Then she hugged me and told me to take care. And i don't know if im crazy but as we hugged and she smiled at me, it wasn't an ordinary hug, i knew it meant something. Then the next morning i found a facebook message from her, telling me it was nice talking to me after such a long time and told me to take care, and i replied telling her that it was a pleasure too. It ended there, its now been 3 years since i spoke to her first, but i still think of her way too often. I've dated girls since, but i've never been crazy about any girl as much as I am about her. I just want to know what you think, do you think she ever really liked me, i mean if not why would she text me, why would we skype till 3am, why would we have kissed and planned a date, but yet again if she did like me, why did she reject me? Please I need your side of view, I need some closure

 

Thanks