A drunken Four-some ruined our relationship. Breaking up and desperate do adv...? :'(

[beelee]

I am just beyond torn. My boyfriend and I of 2 years have an amazing relationship together. We have our ups and downs and sometimes are fights are really ugly...but this one's the worst. Last weekend we were at a hotel and casino and met this couple who we were hanging out there with...later that night we drank beyond way too much and he suggested getting into bed with them. I asked if he was sure and he insinuated so we asked them if they wanted to mess around and they agreed. So we're in bed with them and I look over and he's all over her (sorry for TMI) kissing her breath and going down on her, and the guy starts playing with me...I look over again and see them trying to have sex but since he was so drunk I guess he couldn't get hard enough to. After I had already looked over and we saw they were doing it, he and I started to but only for 10 seconds til I saw they were still trying and I kind of moved her away from him and wanted to stop it all. One thing led to another and next thing I know he's screaming and yelling, in my face calling me every name in the book. He left and I went home the next morning and all my stuff was throw out everywhere in our house. I just went to sleep and woke up to him hitting me with a jacket, I jumped out of bed and the name calling continued and things got physical. I yelled at him and told him to stop and when he got in my face and pushed me I shoved him back and he hit me on the side of my head, grabbed my hair and pulled my head down and kneed me in the face and busted my nose. It's been a few days now and he's still furious. He's been telling me he hates me and doesn't love me and if we were to make things work he'd probably end up cheating on me, and if I could accept him having "10 seconds" with someone then we could get past it. I get his frustration and I feel horrible...I'd NEVER suggest that, and I hate myself for doing it whether he suggested it or not and we were drunk I should have known better. I live here in Arizona with him and my daughter and he's telling me he wants me to go back to California because he's over me...I love him so damn much and have said everything I can. I've been a crying wreck all week and feel so broken inside. He somewhat apologized for the abuse...there's no excuse so whether he has anxiety or anger issues he takes medication for there's still no answer. But he didn't give me a heartfelt apology. He just wants me gone...out of his life. We have built our own little family and an amazing life together and I don't want it to end. I have an amazing job here I couldn't find in California. I'm torn. I don't know what to say, or what to do...I'm so weak and lost I just need help, I need advice in this mess.. losing everything I know and love is terrifying. Thank you so much guys for your time ;(

[stillafool]

First of all what did you think was going to happen when you jumped into bed with them?

 

You should be glad this happened. If he beats you up because you couldn't handle seeing him having intercourse with another woman he needs to be gone. There is never an excuse to physically abuse someone and he busted your nose and 2 weeks later he's still angy with YOU, not himself. Honey where is your self esteem? Since you like your job don't move back to CA if you don't want to. Move out! If you go back to him you are basically telling him he can do anything to you he wants and you are okay with it. If you go back I can guarantee you the next fight you have with him will make this one seem like childs play. Protect your children and yourself and move out.

[KatZee]

Wait... so he hit you in the head, knee'd you in the face and broke your nose, andddd.... you want to make it work out with him?

 

After he tells you he'd probably just cheat on you if he stayed with you?

 

Andddd... you let your daughter around this garbage?

 

Mindblown. Literally.

[CarrieT]

He broke your nose.

 

END OF SENTENCE.

 

Go to the police and file a report - immediately.

 

You should not let your child around this man.

[Zahara]

I'm glad this foursome happened because you got to see him for the phukking monster that he is.

 

He yelled and screamed at you.

 

He called you every name in the book.

 

He hit you with a jacket.

 

He hit you on the side of your head.

 

He pulled your hair.

 

He gave you a knee to the face and busted your nose.

 

REPEAT: I'm glad this foursome happened because you got to see him for the phukking monster that he is.

 

And you have a daughter and you let this man around her? You want to teach her that a man can break your face and it's acceptable? You want to teach her trauma and destruction? You want to teach her that this is what a relationship should look like.

 

For gods sake, if you want to go back to that, go. Ruin your life. But you have a child. If you can't do better for yourself, suck up every bit of courage and sense and walk away for your child's sake.

[Ann253]

Get out.

Nothing but trouble will come if you stay. I know you care for him, but you need to care for yourself and child more. If you don't want to move back to CA stay there, just get your own place and get him out of your life.

[Raena]

I agree with all the others... just get out of the house, get away from him, end the relationship. It will NEVER get better than this.

 

What's he so mad at YOU about? That he couldn't get it up with another woman or that you interfered or that you were with the other man for "10 seconds" Either way, none of those are reasons for being physically abusive to you.

 

What you thought you had is now gone... washed down the drain with the blood from your broken nose. Pack your things, stop looking at loveshack and get you and your daughter out of that house before he hurts you even further.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Wow your poor daughter, please take her to a stable life even if you don't care! I'm assuming she is a kid ...

[Zahara]

My boyfriend and I of 2 years have an amazing relationship together.

 

We have our ups and downs and sometimes are fights are really ugly...but this one's the worst.

 

Nothing amazing about your relationship. I have a feeling this wasn't the first time he's treated you badly.

 

And it is unfortunate that you allow your daughter to witness "ugly" and I hope she wasn't witness to any of the violence that night.

[oldshirt]

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love him so damn much and have said everything I can.

;(

 

how can you say that after everything he has done? How can you even consider staying with him? Why haven't you moved out with no forwarding address? Why haven't you called the police? Why haven't you filed for a no-contact order? Why are you exposing your daughter to this creepo?

 

 

If you stay in contact with him you are teaching your daughter to become involved with men that get drunk and try to screw other women in front of her and don't care if she screws other men as long as he is getting it from other women and then verbally abuses her and physically assaults her for doing what he wanted.

 

 

If he behaves this badly and is so abusive and crazy, what is going to stop him from trying to abuse or even molest your daughter?