Lokin4AReason Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 (edited) so here WE are ..... my wife left me on the 19th of nov. ( after 6 plus yrs of being together ) and she removed all of her belongings. also eased me off of everything ( even blocked me on facebook ). well .... its been rough ( w/ sleepless nights as in an hr or hr and half of sleep. and have not been eating properly ). w/ it affecting my job(s) ( which is uncool ) in trying to cope w/ it i have been faithful, loyal ( esp. in this day in age ), supporting, understanding, compromising ( and the list could go on ) etc ..... thinking of what i have have done wrong or could have done better or change. my mind is always racing because of it .... she always uses we arent happy ( which is plural and isnt her talking but her friend telling her that ) and always coming up w/ excuses and will not come up w/ any solution(s) to the situation we are now in ). she has changed very much ( as in a 180 ) ever since this aka best friend came into the picture ( which has been more than a year ago ) in being more self indulged and self centered .... always saying what i want or me me me ( scenario ) and her friend know what at is best for her ... she is being manipulated ( by her aka best friend ). i am trying to save my marriage ( but seems relentless and hopeless at the moment ) but w/ her friend brainwashing her, i do not see a positive future out of this. she is always afraid what other people is thing and judging her. but w/ her friend saying, he is holding you back and you can do better than him ( as in me ). or maybe there is more to it than what i am seeing ( someone else .... ??? ) with that, she is constantly yelling at me ( even thru the phone and using hurtful words ) and also w/ not compromising towards anything. being very resentful and hateful in any means towards me. she did not appreciate anything nor everything i have done for her. ( as in providing her w/ a car, i also picked up another job besides my full time job, helping her in locating a job, getting an apt. w/ paying the bills, etc ..... ) so i do not know at what i can do to try to save my marriage .... i am just going to let it be and will not call or contact her in any way ( even moving out of the present place of residence once the contract is up and buying another phone ), and if she wants to contact me, well, there is always facebook ... i guess i had to vent and get it off of my chest ... so some of you can relate and understand. with other(s), just understanding at how things can go down hill at when one person abuses the situation .... learning esp. i guess you can say if its meant to be, if its not, well time to move on .... Edited December 3, 2014 by Lokin4AReason
Richiebuoy Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 Her friend is not being helpful but its not her friends doing that she no longer wants to be with you, rather like my own situation, if they wanna go off they're gonna go off..... anyway, I feel for you mate and good luck with best wishes to you.
2.50 a gallon Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 The toxic friend! You have my sympathy. In my case, it was her male co-workers that destroyed our marriage. There was nothing I could say or do, that one of them could find a way to twist it around and make me look bad. They made me out to be a control freak. One kiss a day and I was a none caring man who was only after her money. However with a second kiss, or I bought her a flower, candy etc. showed how clingy I was. That was over 30 years ago. A few years back after running into her mom at the Post Office I got curious and Googled her name. The years have not been kind to her. She is easily pushing the scales at over 200, double and triple chin. While I have spent the last 19 years sharing my life with the most kind, giving loving person I have ever met. I am many years retired, and she is a 60 plus years grandma, who still has a flat stomach and an hour glass figure, and oh them long legs. Divorce, the best thing that ever happened to me. 2
Friskyone4u Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 Lookin4 With anger like that and her actions you can pretty much assume there is another man or men in the picture here. Let me guess. They go out together and go to clubs and you have no idea where they are half the time . This girlfriend may have even introduced your wife to other man. There is not much you can do at this point. If you plead and beg it will only give her more power over you. But it should be clear to you that if you ever doing get back together this girlfriend has to go.
GirlStillStrong Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 I'm sorry you are having difficulty eating and sleeping, taking care of yourself. Don't let that go too long. If you continue having difficulty, you may want to see a doctor as you may have depression which is a medical condition, and is not just "being sad." In the meantime, get yourself some meal replacement shakes like Ensure or SlimFast. That way, at least you are getting some calories in you. Also, if you are concerned about your employer, tell them you are sick, which it sounds like you may be. Take care.
GoBlue Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 I am truly sorry for your pain Lokin4AReason. It is something that I have had to endure myself. I want to recommend a book that I think would be very helpful to you. The title is Love Must Be Tough: New Hope for Marriages in Crisis by Dr. James Dobson. In a situation like your own there may or may not be something you can do to impact your wife's decision to divorce you, but there are certainly things you can do to make it absolutely certain. This book will provide very specific steps you can take to avoid the later. My heart goes out to you and you are in my prayers.
Author Lokin4AReason Posted December 8, 2014 Author Posted December 8, 2014 having a bit of a tough time and have been looking into some kind of support group(s) in my area ... i have called a support group and been contacted one that said that its like a 2 1/2 mth program ....?? ( but they are 5 weeks in w/ their current one ). so i am looking for one ( as well as they are ) for another to help me through this .... still having restless night(s) ( as in sleeping ) and trouble focusing at work ... just taking it day by day and dont have long distance goals at the moment ( probably because of the holidays around the corner, aka family time ) hopefully after the holidays, it will be better w/ this struggle i am having =0/ and thank you everyone for replying to my thread w/ your insight and experience ....
M30USA Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 (edited) People do what they do what they do what they do. I'm sorry for your situation. Gossip and false rumors destroy more lives than drugs. Edited December 8, 2014 by M30USA
Recommended Posts