Ducktape Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 Cultural issues aside, now is the time to be truthful to her as to what the issues are. Wait a couple days, call her back, and say the following: "I wanted to let you know, I lied the other day about why I broke up with you. I wanted to come clean to bring up the issue. I didnt want to be honest with you at the time, because I didnt want to hurt your feelings. I really like you. I know you have done a great job on losing the weight, and I am 100% supportive of you on that, but are you going to have any more corrective work done to tighten things up?" I know it sounds crude and crass, but some people have to be told directly, and explicitly, what their issue is. What? You're kidding right?
lauri Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 Yeah, I read a story about that recently, where american women go to Japan and are shocked, SHOCKED! to find out that no one is interested. My take on this, is that American women tend to "over-value" themselves in the US dating market. They have been trained to think that men will bend over backwards for them, that men here will put up with any amount of terrible behavior, etc, and they then think that is the case world-wide; it is not true though. Cultural issues aside, now is the time to be truthful to her as to what the issues are. Wait a couple days, call her back, and say the following: "I wanted to let you know, I lied the other day about why I broke up with you. I wanted to come clean to bring up the issue. I didnt want to be honest with you at the time, because I didnt want to hurt your feelings. I really like you. I know you have done a great job on losing the weight, and I am 100% supportive of you on that, but are you going to have any more corrective work done to tighten things up?" I know it sounds crude and crass, but some people have to be told directly, and explicitly, what their issue is. My ex girlfriend came back into my life and told me she ended things with me because she wasn't physically attracted to me. She begged for me back because the next guy didnt work out for her and she "realized she had something great". Eff that. Now, when I told others she said this, they were so upset. I didn't get upset about it and didn't let it phase me. However, I consider myself a strong person...there is no telling she will be as strong to handle those comments. Be more sensitive man.
Standard-Fare Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 What? You're kidding right? Ducktape, I agree that 6Pack just gave the worst suggestion ever, but weren't you the one pushing for that angle? OP, hopefully you don't revisit the breakup convo with the girl. It's good that you were able to get it over with. Even though this is still one of the sadder stories I've heard in a while...
6Pack Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 (edited) What? You're kidding right? I am serious. This girl HAS to know that her "loose skin flaps" are a problem. How can someone start dating, KNOWING that they have a glaring problem like this, and actually think that people are going to accept this? She sounds delusional. I hate to go off on a rant here, but American women are DELUSIONAL. They really think they can just throw men away like used Kleenexes, and at the same time, enter the dating market with GLARING medical problems and think that guys will beg like hungry dogs to have them. Yes, I am saying it like this to make people laugh a little bit, but at the same time, I am being very serious about this! She is in Japan now, and realizing that people are not desperate. Now, she may not have ever been someone who throws guys away. She is probably a nice person. But she needs to get her issues taken care of, before guys that are worth dating, are going to actually want her. What she needs to do, is get that taken care of, THEN go out and meet guys. Edited December 6, 2014 by 6Pack
Ducktape Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 Ducktape, I agree that 6Pack just gave the worst suggestion ever, but weren't you the one pushing for that angle For that angle, yes. But with carefully chosen words. And since the break up already happened and all was well, no need to rub alcohol in the wound by telling her that, right after. Damage was done, there was no need anymore. 6pack is talking like she has a problem to fix. That's not it. It's not because someone is not attracted to you because of x thing that you need to take care of it. I have a big nose, some girls might not like it. I won't get surgery nonetheless.
6Pack Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 For that angle, yes. But with carefully chosen words. And since the break up already happened and all was well, no need to rub alcohol in the wound by telling her that, right after. Damage was done, there was no need anymore. 6pack is talking like she has a problem to fix. That's not it. It's not because someone is not attracted to you because of x thing that you need to take care of it. I have a big nose, some girls might not like it. I won't get surgery nonetheless. Well I am not really referring to something permanent, like a nose. I am talking about her "skin flaps" or losse skin that she is having as a result of having lost hundreds of pounds. Look, I think the girl had Liposuction. Nothing wrong with that, but that is why she has all the gross-looking loose skin. She needs to go have the loose skin removed. The loose skin is gross and needs to be removed surgically before anyone is really going to want to date her. It's just a fact.
6Pack Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 Opinions aren't facts. That's a fact. She is the one complaining about having trouble finding guys to date. The fact is, close to 99% of attractive guys with anything to offer, are going to take a pass on a girl with meat flaps like that. It's just not attractive...just like any other correctable medical condition. It doesn't look healthy.
Mi7522 Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 Then tell her you don't want to date anymore. Let her go on with her life. Pretty clear you are not attracted so let it be. Move on
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