sourpatch23 Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 I want to begin by letting you guys know about our past. Ill understand if you dont want read about my past so just go down to the asterisk mark and read from there. We were together for 6 years. Started when i was 16 and she was 14. In the beginning we were madly in love with each other. We both were crazy in love, i dont even know how to explain it. After 3 years, things were going downhill. The love was still there and strong but our families hated us being together. We ignored our parents and secretly hung out with each other (mostly cars and hotel rooms). We were doing fine until our 5th year mark. This is when she would mostly get upset, and argue, and break up with me because of our abnormal relationship. one more thing to add i was her first and she is a good girl that doesnt **** around with guys. but she a bitchyyyy attitude. I wasnt perfect either because i had of my temper. Which i have more control of now. So after fighting and breaking up, this past January (2014) she told me she doesnt have the same feelings like she used to have. Also she wanted to break up. She would do this alot in the past but this time i felt like she really meant it. I really tried my best to calm her down but there was only so much I can do. I left her alone... After 5 months or so of no contact she texted me around like June (2014). I texted her back and we started talking again. She told me she still cared for me but didnt love me. The only problem was that I kept thinking the relationship was like before while she was being less caring and less lovable. It was killing me and my emotions always took over. My emotions (anger and depression) led to another break up. (Mid September 2014) she broke up with me but this time it was more serious. She would REALLY emphasize on the fact that she does not love me anymore. Even though i just didnt believe it because she would always say this with a goodbye and then we ended back together. But THIS TIME, i feel like she really realllyy meant it because of the way she was acting. I didnt want to break up but we did. we didnt talk for like 3 weeks and it was Halloween. I wanted to show be nice so i texted her 3 days after halloween. In the text i said "hi (name), i hope you had a fun weekend. just wanted to let you know im thinking about you." she never responded that day. 2 weeks had past and still no response. suddenly..... ****2 days ago, she texted me saying some thing in the lines of "i feel bad about not answering you from your last message. How are you doing?" The text brought so much excitement because I honestly i thought it was over. We started talking. I didnt want to sound needy so I kept texting her ever like 15-20 minutes. She was mostly creating the conversation and typing paragraphs which was a good sign. I was still being respectful and keeping the conversation going because i still want her back. Then that day we hung out for like an hour tops. I was talking to her but more maturely this time and also not bringing up the past. It went well. We were both having a good time. The only thing i said that was emotional was when she was giving me a goodbye hug. I whispered in her ear "please think about us, thats all i want" she said okay i will and then she left. AND also, the whole time I didnt try kissing her or anything sexual at any point of the hangout. Usually we always kiss or have sex. anyways she texted me after our hangout and we were talking again. Yesterday we hungout again. It was supposed to be just a 2 minute thing cuz she was getting something from me but ended up hanging out for like 30 minutes. I was acting the same way with her, but surprisingly, she went in first and kissed me goodbye (bunch of soft kisses not just one). we still continued to text and today i asked her if she wants to actually have a real hangout. She agreed for this Friday. What should i do when we hangout this Friday? I still love her and I want her back. I feel like she is giving me a chance here and I dont want to ruin it
PegNosePete Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 Well, first thing I would do is ask her if she's thought about what you said last time ("us"). You need to make sure you're on the same page here. If she's just going to string you along with the "friends" thing then you're in for a world of pain.
Author sourpatch23 Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 I would really appreciate it if you read the whole thread. Its very important to know so you can have a better understanding of our relationship. Thank you for anyone who took the time to read my whole thread. Your reply is much appreciated.
Author sourpatch23 Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 Thank you for your reply. When we hangout this Friday, I will ask her the question "if she has thought about us." Say she still doesnt know and still wants to be friends. Should i just end the date and tell her i cant do this? what do you think i should do?
PegNosePete Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 Yes, if she wants to just be friends then I would end it and say you can't be friends because you still have feelings for her and it is too painful. 1
Author sourpatch23 Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 okay. thank you for the reply
Author sourpatch23 Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 I went out with my ex girlfriend for about 6 years. To be blunt, I still love her. the only problem is that she tells me she cares but doesnt love me the way she used to. She wants to be friends but i denied it and started the NC rule. it lasted for a month and she finally texted me 2 days ago. we are hanging out Friday but idk how to act or say during the hang out. What should i do? She still continues to believe that she doesnt love me anymore but cares.
PegNosePete Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 You're just reposting the same question but with less information? Are you expecting a different answer?
Author sourpatch23 Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 no i just felt that the other thread was too long and people wouldnt read it.
Author sourpatch23 Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 putting me on the spot with that comment tho lol chill
umirano Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 Are you acting that needy with your ex gf as well? You chill. PegNose gives high quality answers IMO. Thread / answer quality isn't positively correlated with threat length / number of answers. I'm in a similar situation. LD though. My GF wanted to talk about "feelings and ideas". I said ok, but only over skype or phone, no texting / e-mailing back and forth. Then she went silent for a week or so. When I asked whether she changed her mind about us talking she took another week to reply and finally came clean. She can't be in a RS with me now. You need to get the same clarity from your ex. Otherwise you'll be driving yourself (and eventually her) mad with the back and forth of your RS. Well that's what her injecting herself into my life every couple of weeks feels like to me anyway. Good luck
d0nnivain Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 You two were together for an awfully long time, almost 1/3 of your lives. She doesn't know how to function without talking to you but she does not want a romantic relationship with you. She thinks enough time has passed so you two can "just" be friends & you can go back to being a constant in her life without her having to date you. Since you still have romantic feelings for her & you want her back, this will not work. You have to be clear. Get back together or stay apart. You don't need or want a front row seat to her next relationship. 2
Author sourpatch23 Posted December 4, 2014 Author Posted December 4, 2014 I am not needy, pegnosepete made me look needy. today was the first time i ever been on a relationship forum. i didnt know how to use it.
soyou Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 Life is long and very exciting. You're young. I understand that you love her but if she doesnt love you the same way, it's the best to go NC. Tell her to respect your decision and that you need to have time to get over her and move on. I'm a woman myself. From my experience, once a girl tells you repeatedly that she cared for you but didnt love you anymore. Believe her!!! You may play hard to get and get her for a short while but then she will leave you again, breaking your heart again!! Trust me!! A life out there is fun and full of excitment. Once you get over her, one day you look back, you will laugh at yourself and this very moment a big time. Good luck!!
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