ccla Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 I don't usually post things online but I really need some outside input. I'll try to keep it concise... I met a girl, I'll call her S. I think she's amazing, connected with her on all levels.. I've never met any other girl like her, and I've dated quite a few.We dated for a year until she broke up with me because I didn't reciprocate her feelings. We didn't speak for over half a year until I contacted her for a second chance. I told her I loved her, missed her and wanted her back, that I DID want a serious relationship with her, and that she was someone I could see myself settling down with. After a lot of heart-to-heart and slowly getting reacquainted, she agreed to get back together and it was amazing. But in the past few months, my health has been deteriorating and it's really taking a toll on me. I'm constantly fatigued, we have no sex life, I'm in a ****ty mood half of the time. I'm so tired I can barely be affectionate with her and I know it's hurting her. With my health, school, full time job (which I hate), the stress of everything is overwhelming me. A lot of times I wish I'd never wake up. I don't feel like I can handle a relationship anymore, and I feel absolutely terrible after essentially begging for her back and now I'm thinking about breaking up. She's felt a bit uncertain about how things are going to turn out because of everything, but she's been supportive of me and only wants me to get better, and has never once said anything about wanting to leave me. I care for her immensely. She's a really amazing and special girl that I could see myself marrying, but I feel like she deserves better. I'm failing as a boyfriend and not living up to my promises to her, and there's not much I can do. My health is only getting worse and the doctors haven't figured it out and I'm pessimistic they ever will. I can't quit my job. I don't want to break up with her but I don't see another option. I brought this up the other day and needless to say, she was devastated. She told me that she needed a few days to think and I've respected her wishes so we've had pretty limited contact since. I honestly feel like she would be better off dating someone who can give her what she deserves. This is hurting me so badly but I don't see a good choice anywhere in this. I either stay with her, and the relationship suffers and I keep hurting S. Or I leave her and although we'll both be miserable, at least she has the chance to move on and find someone better. I'm so conflicted and I don't know what to do.
TiredConfusedHurtSad Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 Let her be, or continue being your tormented self and soon enough she'll leave you of her own accord -- because she's only human after all. But I'm sure you know that already...so what's really going on here? Usually, "misery loves company" (even if it tends to drive away company, too)...so despite the amount of details provided, it may be that the most important ones haven't broken through to the level of consciousness yet...plumb deeper. What's the conflict, really? Because things look pretty clear-cut they way you've presented them so far. In the meantime, you don't have to do anything at all...just let things be -- let her be, let yourself be, and see what happens. "Time will tell."
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