Ashley S Posted November 23, 2014 Posted November 23, 2014 This is referring to the post "Do I make myself clear?" they combined it but it was originally "Innocent Hangout? Or is he trying to hook up with me?" Anyways me and my family went to the birthday without him, and we came home early so he calls my house phone and talks to my dad and says "Hey I am at Skybar all of you come out", I wasn't going to go, but then I found out some of my friend were going to be there, so I went. Well he acted like I didn't even exist! He barely spoke to me, and then I called a girl "hot", and he said "I knew you were a lesbian" and the whole night he kept calling me lesbian and dyke, supposedly he was joking. He would act like a pervert at times and try to grab my butt, and somehow get close to my boobs, but he was flirting with other girls, and he was talking to his buddies completely ignoring me. Also, he said I should stop acting slutty in front of my brother and that it's embarrassing, when I wasn't acting slutty and I was just talking to a guy! I am so done, and now I am not going to be nice to him anymore, I am glad I rejected him, and honestly he completely turned me off. But Why would he invite me out and then ignore me? He chose to call and invite us out, so it was all on him, yet he ignores me? I just wonder why he would do that!
J2911 Posted November 23, 2014 Posted November 23, 2014 This is referring to the post "Do I make myself clear?" they combined it but it was originally "Innocent Hangout? Or is he trying to hook up with me?" Anyways me and my family went to the birthday without him, and we came home early so he calls my house phone and talks to my dad and says "Hey I am at Skybar all of you come out", I wasn't going to go, but then I found out some of my friend were going to be there, so I went. Well he acted like I didn't even exist! He barely spoke to me, and then I called a girl "hot", and he said "I knew you were a lesbian" and the whole night he kept calling me lesbian and dyke, supposedly he was joking. He would act like a pervert at times and try to grab my butt, and somehow get close to my boobs, but he was flirting with other girls, and he was talking to his buddies completely ignoring me. Also, he said I should stop acting slutty in front of my brother and that it's embarrassing, when I wasn't acting slutty and I was just talking to a guy! I am so done, and now I am not going to be nice to him anymore, I am glad I rejected him, and honestly he completely turned me off. But Why would he invite me out and then ignore me? He chose to call and invite us out, so it was all on him, yet he ignores me? I just wonder why he would do that! Game player it sounds like 1
Author Ashley S Posted November 23, 2014 Author Posted November 23, 2014 It is all weird because he was like "I have been trying to go out with you guys for over a year" "I want to go out with you guys" Yet he had the opportunity last night to hang out with me and my bro, but my bro left, and I was just there with him and a couple of friends and his friends, and he completely ignored me like I didn't even exist. Periodically he would talk to me and act like a pervert, but majority of the time he was flirting and messing with other girls, and ignoring me. I am so done, and angry. I can't believe how the way I was treated! I wonder though....why he would do that? Ignore me when it was all on him for me to be there! He didn't have to call, he didn't have to say "ALL of you should come out" if he just wanted specific people.
Andy_K Posted November 23, 2014 Posted November 23, 2014 You've got an unhealthy obsession with figuring out this guys motives. It doesn't matter. You will never get the closure and understanding you want, and the very fact you can't figure him out is what keeps him on your mind. You've got two choices 1) accept you'll never really know what he was thinking and ignore him/cut him out of your life 2) sleep with him and find out Treading the middle ground not only gets you nowhere, but keeps your mind occupied with him instead of with other, better prospects you could be getting to know. 2
Toddbt12y1 Posted November 23, 2014 Posted November 23, 2014 My dear, it is simple: He is a dick. You needn't worry about such an *******. **** em. You have better things than someone like him to worry about....Always someone better - as they say. 4
angel.eyes Posted November 23, 2014 Posted November 23, 2014 He's obviously not a good dating option, so it matters not why he does what he does. 2
carhill Posted November 23, 2014 Posted November 23, 2014 But Why would he invite me out and then ignore me? Because it works, perhaps not all the time but he's got enough potentials in play that it keeps him immersed in the female flesh at the level he wishes to be. Men are pragmatists. They'll try different strategies for hitting the bullseye and then hone their technique to achieve consistent results. Women, generally, are amongst the more challenging of conquests simply due to the inconsistent nature of the target so the man generally needs more iterations to get it right, though some men are gifted in this task. Regardless, men enjoy challenges so they often relish the specter of the unknown. Since he's probably been doing same with others and going out with others and having intimate relations with others, he can afford to 'ignore' any one particular potential and come back to it later. Some practiced 'smooth talk' smoothes over the rough edges and the games begin again. Good luck! 2
ExpatInItaly Posted November 23, 2014 Posted November 23, 2014 (edited) You've got an unhealthy obsession with figuring out this guys motives. It doesn't matter. You will never get the closure and understanding you want, and the very fact you can't figure him out is what keeps him on your mind. You've got two choices 1) accept you'll never really know what he was thinking and ignore him/cut him out of your life 2) sleep with him and find out Treading the middle ground not only gets you nowhere, but keeps your mind occupied with him instead of with other, better prospects you could be getting to know. All of this. He knows it works - you claim you want nothing to do with him, yet accept an invitation from him. He's a tool. You yourself have already said that. So why do you keep wasting energy trying to figure it out? You won't. Time to move on. If anything, it's an ego thing. He likes knowing he can still pull in the chicks that resisted him. It's not about you. It's about him. That's what players do. You already said he is a player, so he behaved exactly the way you feared he would. What did you expect from him? Edited November 23, 2014 by ExpatInItaly 2
Author Ashley S Posted November 24, 2014 Author Posted November 24, 2014 You've got an unhealthy obsession with figuring out this guys motives. It doesn't matter. You will never get the closure and understanding you want, and the very fact you can't figure him out is what keeps him on your mind. You've got two choices 1) accept you'll never really know what he was thinking and ignore him/cut him out of your life 2) sleep with him and find out Treading the middle ground not only gets you nowhere, but keeps your mind occupied with him instead of with other, better prospects you could be getting to know. I am just curious because it really does baffle me that he would invite me out, and then ignore me? If you have a problem with someone then don't invite them out. Makes no sense to me... and I just wanted to hear what people had to say because I see how intelligent people are on here, and I thought maybe somebody who had experience with this could relate or give me some insight because it is so bizarre to me. I think option 1 is good haha. You have a point. Thank you. My dear, it is simple: He is a dick. You needn't worry about such an *******. **** em. You have better things than someone like him to worry about....Always someone better - as they say. Thank you <3 Yeah I know I have better things to worry about, you are absolutely right 1
Author Ashley S Posted November 24, 2014 Author Posted November 24, 2014 Thank you everyone! It sucks because I can't let it go. I feel humiliated, and angry. I feel like I want to rip him to shreds. Now looking back at the night, I just keep getting angrier and angrier at myself for even staying. When you are intoxicated it is a little different, I noticed he was acting like an ahole with me, but I didn't see the severity of it. Now that I am sober I see how severe and wrong it was, and I am mad at myself for even staying. I should have just went home, and I stayed like an idiot and I can't believe how humiliated I am. He kept telling everyone I was lesbian! Like what the ****! It is one thing to joke around, but it's another when you are actually making a fool out of that person, and trying to humiliate them. It really baffles me as to why he invited me out then? He obviously has a problem with me....it's so weird how he was saying to my mother that he has been trying to go out with me and my family for over a year and it finally happened for him, and he treated me like ****. He acted like I didn't even ****ing exist. He flirted with other girls, and humiliated me. I hate him, and I hate myself. I am so hurt and angry. I don't feel bad for rejecting his loser ass. I am going to cut him out for good, but it's the fact that I have to live with this humiliation, anger and hurt
Author Ashley S Posted November 24, 2014 Author Posted November 24, 2014 I am thinking he invited me out to get back at me for rejecting him. I think it was some sort of a punishment like "F U, I am going to show you that you are unimportant, and I can get chicks and I flirts with other girls because you don't matter" I am so angry, and I can't do anything about it.
Leigh 87 Posted November 24, 2014 Posted November 24, 2014 Um... Because he isn't that into you? I mean.. come on, he flirted with other women in front of you? He didn't great you with a big kiss and a hug? Yeah. He is a creep. He wanted to touch you ass and boobs all the while taking no actual interest in talking to you and getting to know you better, as he flirted with other women... Please get some self respect and don't even waste your breath on men who clearly don't really like you much? I mean, he doesn't even like you enough to want to have an actual conversation with you? 1
Author Ashley S Posted November 24, 2014 Author Posted November 24, 2014 Um... Because he isn't that into you? I mean.. come on, he flirted with other women in front of you? He didn't great you with a big kiss and a hug? Yeah. He is a creep. He wanted to touch you ass and boobs all the while taking no actual interest in talking to you and getting to know you better, as he flirted with other women... Please get some self respect and don't even waste your breath on men who clearly don't really like you much? I mean, he doesn't even like you enough to want to have an actual conversation with you? We do have somewhat of a history. I rejected him multiple times, and I ignored him for a while because he kept asking me out, and I said "I am not into players, sorry no I won't go out with you" So I have been ignoring him, and he kept calling up my parents and asking if we all would go out with him, and he said to my mom "I have been trying to go out with you guys for over a year now! You (my mom), me, Ashley, Dan (my dad) and Jason (my brother) should all go out. So HE called a week later and HE called my house phone, and my dad picked up and he said "Hey! All of you come out I am at Skybar ALL of you come meet me." My dad told me about it, and I wasn't going to go, but then my friends were texting me saying they were up at the same bar, so I figured I would go, and I went with my brother. So me and my bro went, and he acted like I didn't even exist. It's baffling to me because I understand if he is not into me, but then why invite me out? Why complain about the fact that you have been trying to go out with my family for over a year, and then totally ignore me when it actually happens? It doesn't make any sense because HE is the one that initiated EVERYTHING. I didn't! So it is weird. I mean, yeah, It is noticeable he obviously has a problem with and doesn't like me. But why would he invite me out though? If you have a problem with someone then don't invite them out to places, point blank. It make no sense.
havocser Posted November 24, 2014 Posted November 24, 2014 I think you're wasting more of your time on this than you should. Stop over analyzing his words - this is how men make women vulnerable. He's a dick, you knew he was a player and that's why you rejected him in the past. Things don't change overnight. He may have said "you all" because he literally wanted you all there. Either way, he treated you like a piece of meat and that's unacceptable. Be angry, feel embarassed with yourself, **** one of his friends and walk away. 2
Author Ashley S Posted November 24, 2014 Author Posted November 24, 2014 I think you're wasting more of your time on this than you should. Stop over analyzing his words - this is how men make women vulnerable. He's a dick, you knew he was a player and that's why you rejected him in the past. Things don't change overnight. He may have said "you all" because he literally wanted you all there. Either way, he treated you like a piece of meat and that's unacceptable. Be angry, feel embarassed with yourself, **** one of his friends and walk away. He has been trying to go out with me, and he knows my parents don't do the bar scene and my parents don't go out to bars, so I thought it was a way for him to get to me through my parents. So if anything he should have been relieved that it was just me and my brother AND my brother left and I was just with him and his friends, and some of my friends. That's even better if you think about it, but he still treated me like ****. I thought the whole parent thing was a ploy. But whatever. I am so angry. I refuse to **** one of his friends lol. I hate him and his friends. I feel so stupid and I am probably the laughing stock of the group, they are probably like "Dude she's a doormat we clearly didn't want her there, and she just took it, and did nothing hahahaha" "She's pathetic, she still stuck around" When really it was because his friend was driving me home, and I didn't have a ride home other than his friend, but I contemplated at one point just walking home because I was upset, but now that I am sober I can see how bad the situation actually was, and I am really hating myself for it.
CatalystNX Posted November 24, 2014 Posted November 24, 2014 Just drop this guy. Stop thinking about him, worrying about him, and caring what he thinks/says. He's a dick and that's all there is to it. IMO, you're way too hung up on him. He doesn't deserve the thought you're giving him. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 24, 2014 Posted November 24, 2014 I don't get why you're so baffled by this. You deemed him a player and distanced yourself from him for this reason. He's behaving exactly the way players behave. Why are you so confused? I think you went hoping he would be would hit on you and focus on you. Honestly, to be blunt, I think you really enjoy the attention you get from him and you thought he was still nurturing a true interest in you. It boosted your ego. Unfortunately, he showed you that's not the case. He ain't into you if he's hitting on other girls in front of you. he sounds immature as hell too. I wouldn't give a clown like that the time of day, let alone worry about why he's such a d*ck. After three threads about how much you think he's a tool and a player...well, I think you need to go back and re-read your own posts. 2
TheFinalWord Posted November 24, 2014 Posted November 24, 2014 It is all weird because he was like "I have been trying to go out with you guys for over a year" "I want to go out with you guys" Yet he had the opportunity last night to hang out with me and my bro, but my bro left, and I was just there with him and a couple of friends and his friends, and he completely ignored me like I didn't even exist. Periodically he would talk to me and act like a pervert, but majority of the time he was flirting and messing with other girls, and ignoring me. I am so done, and angry. I can't believe how the way I was treated! I wonder though....why he would do that? Ignore me when it was all on him for me to be there! He didn't have to call, he didn't have to say "ALL of you should come out" if he just wanted specific people. There are some people in this world that just like to sow discord and cause pain. If you are a peaceful person, it will never make sense to you. It's not rational so trying to rationalize it won't work. Off hand, it sounds like you were either a back up plan, or he wants to make you jealous for rejecting him. In either scenario, he has a childish mindset and that should be enough for you to not waste more time on him. I am glad you have the self-respect to recognize how poorly you were treated and that you will no longer tolerate it. It also seems that you seek some validation from this person. Sometimes rejectors get upset when the person they rejected actually does move on and doesn't continue to pursue. The best thing you can do is not communicate with this person and not interact at all in a social way with him. 1
Author Ashley S Posted November 25, 2014 Author Posted November 25, 2014 (edited) This is in reference to my previous post http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/503061-why-did-he-invite-me-out-but-then-ignore-me-2.html Well, I am cutting him out, and I want nothing to do with him because he's a jerk (to put it nicely), well my dad dropped the bomb. My father has his own business, and so (douche boy) called up my house phone, like 2 days after the horrible night out with him, and he is talking to my dad, and begging for work. My dad is going to start using him on jobs when I already told my dad about what happened, and I told my mother, but my mother is on my side, and my dad actually had the nerve to say "You brought this on yourself, did actually think it was going to be a good time with him? I need workers, his and your personal life has nothing to do with his work ethics." I feel betrayed by my own father! The loser wants to work for my dad because he told my dad he hit his co-worker with a pool stick that night I was out with him. I didn't see that, nor did I know that. It resulted in the guy having a broken rib, and I bet he thinks he is going to lose his job. I am so angry, and my father is the a**hole now! He doesn't care or understand that I want nothing to do with this guy, and I don't want to see him, and to say I brought this upon myself? Wow! What should I do when I see him? I actually need advice, should I walk away, go to a certain part of the house? What do you think is an effective strategy to let him know I hate him and want nothing to do with him? Thank you for reading and for sharing your input. Edited November 25, 2014 by Ashley S Messed up the paragraph
beautifulinside2 Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 I agree with your dad here. Business and personal are two separate areas. As long as he isn't physically or verbally threatening to you or hurt you then I believe it should be ok for your dad to utilize his services. I mean what if you dated the only Dr. in your town would you refuse healthcare based upon a relationship gone bad? Farfetched I know but trying to make a point I would suggest you tell your dad to have a talk with the ex and let him know under no conditions is he to have any contact with you or he will be fired or dismissed. I say put conditions on his employment.
d0nnivain Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 I think you can safely ignore the guy when & if you see him. Do your dad's workers have to come to the house? If not, you are probably safe. I do worry about your father's hiring practices. If this guy hit somebody else hard enough to break the other guy's ribs, your father better make sure that the guy's temper doesn't get your dad in in trouble. 1
Author Ashley S Posted November 25, 2014 Author Posted November 25, 2014 I agree with your dad here. Business and personal are two separate areas. As long as he isn't physically or verbally threatening to you or hurt you then I believe it should be ok for your dad to utilize his services. I mean what if you dated the only Dr. in your town would you refuse healthcare based upon a relationship gone bad? Farfetched I know but trying to make a point I would suggest you tell your dad to have a talk with the ex and let him know under no conditions is he to have any contact with you or he will be fired or dismissed. I say put conditions on his employment. I can see where my dad is coming from, but my dad makes all of his workers pick up their pay checks at my house, meet at my house, etc. So I am here most of the time when his workers come in, and either meet him to go to work, or pick up a pay check. I think my dad should at least have enough decency to tell him about his wrong doings, and say "Just don't talk to her" And tell him to just steer clear of me. By my dad letting him work for him, he's basically giving him the impression "You can say and do whatever you want to my daughter and I will hire you without consequences or any hassle". Douche boy is getting a one up on me, because my dad is doing nothing, and he probably thinks "haha! I can do and say whatever I want and still get a job with her dad! HAHA!" It pisses me off. Thanks.
Author Ashley S Posted November 25, 2014 Author Posted November 25, 2014 I think you can safely ignore the guy when & if you see him. Do your dad's workers have to come to the house? If not, you are probably safe. I do worry about your father's hiring practices. If this guy hit somebody else hard enough to break the other guy's ribs, your father better make sure that the guy's temper doesn't get your dad in in trouble. Yeah because my dad's office is located in the house, and they always meet here. You are exactly right! I said the same thing to my dad, but it went in one ear out the other. He doesn't care, and I am sick and tired of both of them. It's like I am beat when I am down
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