lazymatt Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 (edited) Ok so I'll make the backstory short. My ex and I broke up a few months ago and after a few weeks we saw each other and had a short fling for about two weeks. The reason she broke up with me in he first place was because she said she no longer loved me, but later on said she still had feelings for me and still wanted me in her life. After reading all of the amazing advice on here I came to the decision on going NC and I kept to it for over a month when suddenly she happened to kinda force herself on friends to go on a trip that she knew I was already going on. Long story short. Nothing happened we ended up hanging out alone with each other drinking and having fun. But nothing romantic even happened. After we got back from the trip I wrote her telling her how much fun I had and how good it was to seer her. She responded saying it was good to catch up. Which totally felt like I was being put in the friend zone. Since then she's been writing me and was even with my friends when I met up with them recently. She seemed happy to see me, but it really hurts to see her and just act like I'm ok with being friends. I never wanted it and I never made a big fuss about it. I left her with absolutely zero contact before and told her it was because I am still crazy about her. Well now she's still texting me like everything is cool and it's driving me crazy. So do I ask her if this is going somewhere? Do I ask her if she forgot I told her I couldn't be friends? Or do I just simply resume NC again. I was actually starting to do alright until she came back. I'm so confused as to how to go about this and my feelings are just as strong as they were before. Is her friendliness a sign she still wants me? I cannot stop analyzing this and it's driving me crazy! Edited December 3, 2014 by lazymatt
Light Breeze Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 I personally haven't experienced that kind of situation before but my friend did and I've seen it first hand. Basically, my friend had a similar story with yours and to make the long story short, he read the signals wrong and found out he was just being friend zoned by the girl. Well, This happened because, instead of being candid he jumped to conclusions and got his heart broken. So, in my honest opinion your best bet is to talk to her and if she says she just want to be friends then that's the time you tell her that you're entering NC again to heal. I hope all goes well with you brother. Stay strong.
EgoJoe Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 Stop responding to her texts quickly. Minimize her as a priority. Be as busy as you can. She texts: "Hey this kitten just meowed lol" at 10pm The next day you text: "Super crazy night, I love cats." Respond with emotional words about things and use language that will incite thoughts of feelings. Never initiate and be unavailable. She will either escalate or dissipate her efforts. If she tries to guilt trip you about being a bad friend or says anything about being such great friends, wait a bit and then remind her, "We're not friends, you're just some girl I know ;)" If and when that conversation appears back off for weeks at a time and live your life.
Author lazymatt Posted December 10, 2014 Author Posted December 10, 2014 So I didn't wrote back to her aftee she texted me and finally asked of I was mad. I said I wasn't because I'm not mad, now I feel I just gave her more reason to keep talking to me like a friend. Did I screw up?
KBarletta Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 So I didn't wrote back to her aftee she texted me and finally asked of I was mad. I said I wasn't because I'm not mad, now I feel I just gave her more reason to keep talking to me like a friend. Did I screw up? She's trying to minimize her guilt over being the dumper in the situation by being "friends," making sure you're not "mad" etc. The less guilt she feels, the easier it will be for her to move on. Why should you be making it easier on her? You should be making it easier on YOU. That means NC. My advice: No contact means no contact. If she texts, unless she says "I'm sorry about everything, I now know how stupid I was and I truly want you back.." Leave it alone. Don't respond, don't initiate, don't be a friend, don't do anything.
Recommended Posts