marcjb Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 Hello everyone, I have been absent from this forum for months now after having collected myself from my previous breakup over 8 months ago. I have been recently been going out on A LOT of dates with women via meeting online. Previously I never really tried online dating or traditional dating, I've just met people in life and let things happen naturally. Anyway, yes, I've gone on quite a few dates with different women. Mainly talking about actual dates where there is no intimacy and just getting to know one another. Some people I've only had one date with, others I've gone out with up to four times. Over a week ago now, I happen to have met this one girl and we are both totally smitten for each other. A bunch of chemistry. Everything feels natural. We have seen each other 5 times now, been intimate, talk everyday and will be seeing each other again tomorrow night. Yes, I know, it's been an extremely short time in the grand scheme of things, but she has expressed to me that she is not interested in dating anyone else. I have expressed this with her as well. I am already getting the sense that she is expecting me to ask her because she has said she is not interested in being casual. Now taking this into consideration, in my last relationship I was the one brought up being exclusive. That relationship did not work out. I'm not saying that it's the reason why it didn't work out, but I feel I would rather have the woman be the one to bring up the exclusive talk. I've also read that a lot of people recommend this. I don't have a problem doing it as I've done it in the past, and I would totally be exclusive with this current girl I'm dating in a heartbeat, but I am thinking it would be best if she brought it up. I'd like to hear other people's thoughts on this situation please.
Under The Radar Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 Just work into the conversation your thoughts on multi-dating ...... tell her that's not really your thing ...... but you respect different perspectives. Then casually ask her what her views are? If she likes you as much as you think she'll let you know directly, or in a round about manner, she's not interested in anyone else. Honestly, there is no "right" time to have the exclusivity conversation ...... and it doesn't matter who brings it up. Tomorrow is your 6th date ...... take it a date at a time ...... but clearly you two have a connection. Usually sex, for me, is a pretty good indicator of exclusivity ...... which generally occurs within the first couple of months.
Author marcjb Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 Thanks for the reply. Yes, we have already brushed upon this issue. We both know neither of us are multi-dating with different people, but we have not committed to an actual relationship yet. I would prefer if she brought it up, but I at the same time I don't want her to think I'm using her... although my actions do not say that at all.
Under The Radar Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 Thanks for the reply. Yes, we have already brushed upon this issue. We both know neither of us are multi-dating with different people, but we have not committed to an actual relationship yet. I would prefer if she brought it up, but I at the same time I don't want her to think I'm using her... although my actions do not say that at all. Try not to overthink it. Again you met less than two weeks ago and are already scheduled to meet up for a 6th date. She likes you and I'm sure she knows you have good intentions ...... especially if the subject of multi-dating has been broached ...... and the two of you are on the same page.
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