JK79 Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 Ok let me rephrase my question... How can I make him like me and develop feelings for me and not just see me as a bootycall? I really thought he liked me especially cause he took me home. He said I'm the 2nd girl that knows where he lives and the first one he let's inside. Kinda thought that meant something. Words are cheap meaningless entities and you should never assume anything from them. Actions speak far louder - when he pulls out of a big game to be with you because you are ill or need him then you can think he really cares and deserves you. Till then I am afraid you should look after yourself, your feelings and your self respect and assume you are just woman 13246 - ready to be 'hired or fired' at his discretion. I would not accept any more gifts or anything that makes you feel either you should give him what he is after or lower yourself to his level - if you really like him then make yourself stand out by being different to every other girl - do not be bought and do not buy into his words. He may respect you more and actually one day cancel that big game :-). If he doesn't and you never see him again ... best to know now before your feelings grow.
elaine567 Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 You have to be aware, some men will do and say anything for sex. Watch -
Redhead14 Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 About a week ago I met this guy at a Cafe and he came over and we started talking and he ended up giving me his number and told me to text him. Turns out he is a professional basketball player but I didn't know who he was because I simply don't watch sports. I gotta say that I immediately felt some sort of connection and I definitely thought that he was really attractive, he was amazing eyes and a really nice smile. However he is 16 years older than me. (I am 21 and he is 37 but it doesn't bother us) Anyways, we started texting all day and agreed to meet for coffee again two days later. Then another two days later we hung out again and he took me shopping and actually paid for everything that I picked out. I didn't really know what to think because I expected to pay for it myself. He has really good manners too for example he never lets me walk on the side of the street and always holds the doors open. He also has a nickname for me, not babe or baby but something more personal I guess. Not sure if that means anything though. And when we have our little coffee dates he always finds a way to somehow touch me whether it is a high five or a playful "slap" in the face (Not sure how to describe it but maybe you guys know what I mean?) After shopping we went back to his apartment and we ended up having sex. Yes, I know it sounds terrible. We met again the day after and then again 3 days later. When we are together things just feel right, he makes me laugh and he is really nice and we don't just have sex, we talk too and cuddle. On Monday a class of mine got canceled and I told him and he said I should come over so I did and we took a nap together. I know this probably doesn't have a future because he is so much older than me and because he is a professional basketball player but I am starting to really like this man. I am just not really sure what he thinks of me. He told me he likes me and that it is not just sex and fun for him but then again it is very easy to just say stuff like that. Opinions please? If you don't give them sex, you'll never have to wonder if they are using you for sex. 2
Author Cheerbabe93 Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 If you don't give them sex, you'll never have to wonder if they are using you for sex. The sex is amazing though.
Lokin4AReason Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 w/ him being a sports player, he is probably getting alot of attention of other people also ( IMO ) just take it slow and get to know him ( and hopefully he ll see at what you are doing and wanting it to work )
Redhead14 Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 The sex is amazing though. Then enjoy the ride, my dear No one is saying there's anything wrong with that, however, I'd advise you to move on as soon as possible from this one and get on a path that will lead you to the kind of relationship you really want. It's a winding road and you may stray from the path, but each time you do that, it will confuse things for you.
MrNate 2.0 Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 Ok let me rephrase my question... How can I make him like me and develop feelings for me and not just see me as a bootycall? I really thought he liked me especially cause he took me home. He said I'm the 2nd girl that knows where he lives and the first one he let's inside. Kinda thought that meant something. If he liked you, he would've made you his woman right now. You're clearly underestimating the lengths a man will go for some ass. It's a lot.
TigerLilly78 Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 The sex is amazing though. Right so what maybe 30 mins of pleasure is worth all this worry and heartache? surely you can find a man who wont make you end up questioning things on a message board? Who can give you the same pleasure in the mean time in this day and age they make fabulous vibrators and the sex is amazing with them no BS involved...they wont buy you things how ever im afraid..lmao
GildedLily Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 The sex is amazing though. Really? Do you orgasm? I doubt it, guys like that are selfish in bed. If 93 is when you were born , placing you at 21, you have a looonngg way to go before you know what amazing sex is. Get rid of this absolute trash, didnt your dad tell you how men should treat you? 1
Leigh 87 Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 If he liked you, he would've made you his woman right now. You're clearly underestimating the lengths a man will go for some ass. It's a lot. I know. I have two men texting me every day because they want some ass. He probably enjoys hanging out with you. Some men enjoy talking to a woman but still only want to bang her and that is it.
Million.to.1 Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 I know. I have two men texting me every day because they want some ass. He probably enjoys hanging out with you. Some men enjoy talking to a woman but still only want to bang her and that is it. you should watch that video on page 2 leigh.
Author Cheerbabe93 Posted December 6, 2014 Author Posted December 6, 2014 Really? Do you orgasm? I doubt it, guys like that are selfish in bed. If 93 is when you were born , placing you at 21, you have a looonngg way to go before you know what amazing sex is. Get rid of this absolute trash, didnt your dad tell you how men should treat you? Nooo it's not about him it's about me. He even asks if he can finish now or if I want him to wait and go longer.
elaine567 Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 Nooo it's not about him it's about me. He even asks if he can finish now or if I want him to wait and go longer. That is all well and good, but that is meaningless as to whether he likes you or is only using you for sex.
changchewsoon Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 I think you know he is using you just for sex, but you want something more than that. 16 years is a pretty huge age gap, and that puts him in a position where he has a lot more experience in that department hence the sex is definitely good compared to what you've experienced. You're only 21, you have your entire life ahead of you. If you want a guy like him to be committed to you and only you, I'm afraid you're up for a heartache. The fact he could say such disrespectful things like "firing" and "hiring" a girl, it shows that he probably doesn't view women the same way like most normal man does. It is so demeaning to women, and I am really disgusted by what he said. Consider yourself warned. 1
amkxoxo Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 Sounds like a user with multiple girls besides you. Your a convenient piece of asss what he buys stuff for. Be a better woman. Be confident. If you take his being with other woman and thinking you should be honored to be with him he will never see you as anything worthy. Find a real man who will treat you nice, not buy you off, and doesnt have or expect sex when you barely know each other. Trust me they exist.
Author Cheerbabe93 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Posted December 8, 2014 Sounds like a user with multiple girls besides you. Your a convenient piece of asss what he buys stuff for. Be a better woman. Be confident. If you take his being with other woman and thinking you should be honored to be with him he will never see you as anything worthy. Find a real man who will treat you nice, not buy you off, and doesnt have or expect sex when you barely know each other. Trust me they exist. But how can i stop him from sleeping with the other woman?
TigerLilly78 Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 But how can i stop him from sleeping with the other woman? I think you missed the point of that post entirely you cant stop him all you can do is choose not to be his cheaply bought play toy you deserve better.. 1
Danda Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 OP you are being love bombed and conditioned to tolerate disrespect at the same time, and you are already excusing poor behavior and feeling jealous/insecure. This sack of **** is a pro, he's been at this for a while. He's not even some clumsy NPD in an experimenting phase, he's like full-on ASPD. Please read this article: Red flags of a psychopath | If you don't or won't absorb a single thing in that whole article or in the rest of this thread, you don't EVER LET THIS LEAVE YOUR MIND: It is NEVER okay or anything less than a GIANT RED FLAG when a man 'playfully' SLAPS YOUR FACE. That **** is for like kinky BDSM couples who have been together for a long time and have established a massive amount of trust and emotional intimacy. Aside from that one scenario your instinct should be AWHELLNO. And the fact that it's not means your instincts are not working properly, please be careful.
cif Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 Nooo it's not about him it's about me. He even asks if he can finish now or if I want him to wait and go longer. A man that cares about you and your body knows when you've reached orgasm. He would not need to ask. This charmer is asking because he wants you to say yes so he can stop humping. Get it?
Author Cheerbabe93 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Posted December 8, 2014 OP you are being love bombed and conditioned to tolerate disrespect at the same time, and you are already excusing poor behavior and feeling jealous/insecure. This sack of **** is a pro, he's been at this for a while. He's not even some clumsy NPD in an experimenting phase, he's like full-on ASPD. Please read this article: Red flags of a psychopath | If you don't or won't absorb a single thing in that whole article or in the rest of this thread, you don't EVER LET THIS LEAVE YOUR MIND: It is NEVER okay or anything less than a GIANT RED FLAG when a man 'playfully' SLAPS YOUR FACE. That **** is for like kinky BDSM couples who have been together for a long time and have established a massive amount of trust and emotional intimacy. Aside from that one scenario your instinct should be AWHELLNO. And the fact that it's not means your instincts are not working properly, please be careful. Thank you so much for posting this article. I actually had to read it twice cause I was quite in shock the first time. Every single thing matched to him. It's a little scary. I assume the best thing to do would be to stop seeing him? Not only because he's clearly a douche but because of my feelings for him. I know there's no future for us so I should probably stop getting my hopes up and try not to fall for him even more. He does **** with my mind a lot like he always calls me baby and tells me how special I am to him blah blah blah However one thing I do not like about him is how demanding he is. Like he would ask me to take pictures and he doesn't accept no as an answer and if I don't do it within a few minutes he gets pissed and says stuff like maybe this won't work if I can't even do simple tasks Again thank you for opening my eyes. I will try and stay away from him. Ps. The playful slap in the face really wasn't anything bad. It was suuuuper light. He just does stuff like that. He also likes to pull down my head so it covers my face. I thought he was just teasing...
elaine567 Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 Do not get any further involved, as he will eat you up and spit you out, you cannot "save" him and he doesn't love you. He calls you baby, because he is scared he gets your name wrong, not because he cares for you... There is as you say NO future, if he ticks the psychopath boxes. DO not "try" to stay away from him, I would advise you to RUN actually and never look back. People like him can be very persuasive and once he "owns" you, you will find it very, very difficult to get free, as he will get inside your head and will start messing with your sanity. Thank you so much for posting this article. I actually had to read it twice cause I was quite in shock the first time. Every single thing matched to him. It's a little scary. I assume the best thing to do would be to stop seeing him? Not only because he's clearly a douche but because of my feelings for him. I know there's no future for us so I should probably stop getting my hopes up and try not to fall for him even more. He does **** with my mind a lot like he always calls me baby and tells me how special I am to him blah blah blah However one thing I do not like about him is how demanding he is. Like he would ask me to take pictures and he doesn't accept no as an answer and if I don't do it within a few minutes he gets pissed and says stuff like maybe this won't work if I can't even do simple tasks Again thank you for opening my eyes. I will try and stay away from him. Ps. The playful slap in the face really wasn't anything bad. It was suuuuper light. He just does stuff like that. He also likes to pull down my head so it covers my face. I thought he was just teasing... 1
TigerLilly78 Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Thank you so much for posting this article. I actually had to read it twice cause I was quite in shock the first time. Every single thing matched to him. It's a little scary. I assume the best thing to do would be to stop seeing him? Not only because he's clearly a douche but because of my feelings for him. I know there's no future for us so I should probably stop getting my hopes up and try not to fall for him even more. He does **** with my mind a lot like he always calls me baby and tells me how special I am to him blah blah blah However one thing I do not like about him is how demanding he is. Like he would ask me to take pictures and he doesn't accept no as an answer and if I don't do it within a few minutes he gets pissed and says stuff like maybe this won't work if I can't even do simple tasks Again thank you for opening my eyes. I will try and stay away from him. Ps. The playful slap in the face really wasn't anything bad. It was suuuuper light. He just does stuff like that. He also likes to pull down my head so it covers my face. I thought he was just teasing... All the things you are describing are sighs of mental/emotional abuse its his way of conditioning you go get the response he wants he could care less how it affects you..think of it this way if he knew you were upset and on here asking for help do you think he would be concerned for you? NO he would prob be more upset you were blabbing about him on here.. Far as the slap and him pulling your hood over your head thats not really normal behavior for a grown man a teen boy maybe but not a adult man. Me and my BF play fight all the time but its light tickles and such never would he even think to slap me in the face no matter how light..you have the right idea now just stick to it and cut this toxic man out of your life.. 2
Blade96 Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 (edited) But how can i stop him from sleeping with the other woman" - You can't. No one can make people do anything they don't want to. Well people can be brainwashed, but as someone else said if you know yourself well and what you want and what you don't want, and be firm, you can train yourself to be immune to it. Knowing yourself well is what will protect you from douche nozzles like this guy. Edited December 14, 2014 by Blade96
Recommended Posts