kaysia Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 So I was with this guy for a while. From the start of the relationship we clicked and it just felt right. He was nothing like the guys I've been with before, everything he did was sincere and honest. He was the perfect gentleman. As we grew closer, he would say things like "this is real" and "we won't be breaking up, we're perfect for each other". In the beginning I had problems with opening myself up and letting my guard down because I was afraid of getting hurt but he convinced me that he was "one of the good guys". Last week we had a great week together. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, he even mentioned to his friends on Thursday that he'll be spending Christmas with my family and that he wants to spend New Years Eve with me. Now, he went to away for a night for a friend's birthday on Saturday (I didn't message him during that so I could give him time with his friends) and on the Sunday he called me and broke up with me on the phone. However, I MADE him come to my house to do it in person because I've only been good to him and treated him the way I want to be treated. I saw him on Sunday night at a beach party and he said he's not ready for a relationship (even though he was the one throughout our time together to say that we're in it for the long run) and that he doesn't want me anymore and that I deserve someone who likes me as much as I like them. On Tuesday last week, he sent me a message saying "I'm with you all the way these holidays my baby". How does one change their mind about being with someone in the space of a week? No signs at all. For the start, he said he was ready for the long term and I got a message from him yesterday saying we won't get back together and he feels foolish for not knowing what he wants. The message was condescending and insincere. I really thought he was the one for me. I'm having such a tough time and I hope he regrets losing the loyal woman who would do anything for him. I'm so confused.
StalwartMind Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 I'm not sure how long a period of time all this took place, but he sounds like he is all over the place, at least in recent time. What are you to think of that and how should you react, yeah good question. When you wrote that he "convinced" you that he was one of the good guys, do you mean he literally told you those words or is that more of an extension of all the other things he said too, about it being real/not breaking up etc. I'm of the opinion that, no one should have to convince anyone about anything, you should be able to feel it yourself. Some people have the amazing gift of speech, where they can make people follow them, because they present their ideas in such a powerful way that it simply draws you in and you believe it. Take but a small glance back into history and you can get a pretty good idea of the power of speech. He is quite clearly at present time someone whom is not the best relationship material, that is if you are looking for something you can rely on. Hopefully he can clear up his "****e" and be a better man in the future, because this is just emotional turmoil for you. This of course is/may be too late for you and unfortunately sometimes you meet a person at the wrong time in your life. As has been said before and will be said many more times as long as there are humans in this universe, there are better men out there whom will not drag you through such drama and misery. No doubt one will be able to value your loyalty and other qualities and sincerely make you feel appreciated. Don't let this make you feel worse or make it even harder to open up to your next encounter with a man, but do let it be an experience and memory that even what we perceive as good, can have many underlying problems. Unfortunately there is no real way of knowing, it always comes down to putting our faith in someone or something else. 1
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