Should I just forget about him?

[Paige33]

Hi and thanks for reading. We met two months ago we are both in our 30's and got physical very quickly. We

both decided to just be 'friends' as he just got

out of a relationship and I myself was not

ready.

 

It got really intense really quickly and we spent

a lot of time together. The sex was absolutely

mind blowing and we both said there was a

connection. I met his friends,he texted me

every day and he even met my friends and

family. We just really clicked.

 

He came over for an evening and just let it

loose that there is nothing between us,that he

doesn't want a girlfriend and then carried on

telling me everything that was wrong with me.

I told him once again that I was quite happy

being just friends where he then calmed down

and told me that eventhough there was

'nothing' I still really turned him on.

 

We went for a drink later that evening and

then went to his place. He then literally tore

into my character telling me what a terrible

person I was and basically attacking my inner

being. I told him to f off and wanted to go

home but he wouldnt let me. I ended spending

the night to my better judgment.

The next day I got drunk because I was terribly

heartsore, I did nothing to him to warrant his

reaction. And then I texted him some drunken

stuff..maybe a bit overkill..nothing rude just suggestive.

 

The next morning I sent him a message that I

could not cope with how he treated me,told

him to leave me alone. He did not

apologise..sent back I was very cute and had

potential and wishes me all the best till next

time. I caved with no contact 5 days later to

tell him some really good news and he replied.

I then left it and got really upset because he

wouldnt make an effort to see how I was. Took

my facebook down and blocked on IM. He then

randomly asked me how I was on FB (could

still send me messages) a few days later.

I waited a few more days and contacted him

because I was tired of the games and he asked

if me and him were ok now. I said I couldn't

stay angry at him. We made plans to hang out

the next week.

 

I contacted him the next week asking what he

was up to,should we hang out and he ignored

me for 2 days then sending me a text that he

was so busy dont think we will be able to and

maybe over the weekend. I told him I'm not an

afterthought and I am still in a bit of state

after eveything and dont have the strength for

it. He ignored the text.

I unfriended him off fb and he blocked me.

Sent him a last text to wish him well as he is

leaving for work for next 8 months. Said we

could go for a farewell drink if he had time

and he said cool.He then unblocked me off fb

after a few minutes,waited to here from him

whole weekend and then thought checked in to

see what was happening and he blew me off

saying he had an early start the next morning.

I didn't reply and haven't contacted him since.

This whole thing left me badly bruised,I

haven't felt this way about anyone in years..it

feels like a piece of me is dead. I know it

wasnt one sided.

 

Please help with advice? Should I just forget

about him? It's now been 2 weeks no contact.

[StalwartMind]

Run as fast as you can over the nearest hill, hide behind the next mountain, build a fortress of branches and leafs and hope you'll never speak to him again. At the very least until he learns to behave much better and treat you better. I'm sure drunk texting whatever suitable response you found necessary at the time wasn't your best moment either, but really this just smells toxic.

 

I'm confident some will be okay with a relationship that is purely amazing in the sex department but going through such emotional drama, yeah no thank you. Of course everyone is welcome to do and suffer through whatever they please but you seem to not enjoy the verbal abuse, and it takes a good bit to improve such attitudes. He likely has a lot of problems and things he need to overcome and from a completely neutral perspective, you most certainly hope that people will be able to heal/correct their mental issues.

 

There is just no way in most sensible environments and relationships that someone going off like a random bomb like that is of benefit to either of you. I'll be completely honest and say that, all this ignoring, blocking, no contact, is just so utterly childish. It makes me feel like an old man but I really can't be bothered to deal with that crap, and I'm in my early 30s as well. If you can't have a sensible dialogue with someone, then that ship has a captain whom screams all day "SET SAIL FOR FAIL"!

[Paige33]

Thank you for your reply..the deleting was for my own benefit as I was driving my self nuts by looking at his fb profile...just wanted to heal and then it got childish.. I do agree...feels like he is one upping me the whole time.

 

Absolutely no proper communication.. I deleted his nr from my phone so I wouldn'tbe tempted to contact him again. I'll probably get ignored or blown off again..I would like nothing more than to have an adult conversation with him but thats probably not going to happen.

Edited December 2, 2014 by Paige33

[LoverOfDance]

Sorry to say this but YES IT IS. It is very one sided. This guy is such a jerk and you don't really seem to see it. He does NOT like you. I've seen guys like this. He only wants you for sex.

 

He's giving you SO little of himself emotionally. He's giving you almost nothing in fact. But says you turn him on, lol. This is how you know a guy only wants you for sex. At least from my experience. Please run as fast as you can and never ever look back.

[whichwayisup]

This makes me sad for you. This guy is CRUEL, he's said awful things to you, put you down, ripped your character apart, yet you keep on going back for more! He has no respect for you - He treats you like sh.it, and you keep going back for more after telling him to f off.

 

You must think very low of yourself.. That's what is sad. You don't respect yourself so why should he?

 

I wish you strength and courage to end it once and for all, block him and cut him out of your life forever.

[lovemetobits]

The guy's a complete jerk. Don't waste your time on him. You're hurt, but it'll soon be over. Better to get rid of him early than waste your time on a dumba*s. Be strong dear. Spend more time with your friends and keep yourself busy.

[almond]

You're in your 30s...it's time now for you to address the issues that have you running back to a guy that treats you like absolute trash.

 

I'm sorry, but everything you wrote really has me concerned for you. Your logic is all over the place, and the treatment you are accepting from this abusive ahole definitely indicates some significant issues that need to be worked on asap.

 

Therapy would really help you. If you want a happy, stable relationship and future, it's necessary to start working on this stuff. Old habits die hard, and a professional can help you identify and bury what you can't on your own. Get help, you owe it to yourself <3

[Toodaloo]

Please help with advice? Should I just forget

about him? It's now been 2 weeks no contact.

 

Yes you should forget about him.

 

This one is no good and if you go back again you will only be used as a hole to poke his penis into.

 

Its is that blunt and it is that simple.

[spiderowl]

The guy is no good. He's abusive. You are allowing him to abuse you. Your efforts to 'get rid' of him seem to be mostly designed to get his attention again and his attention is not nice. He's doing something similar in that he's not letting you go - he's drawing you in again then being abusive. If this is what you want, carry on. If not, stick to your guns and block this guy on every front and stick to it. If he tries to contact you, don't respond and cut off that option if possible. Basically, you want this guy to pay you attention but you won't get nice attention from him. It's a recipe for a long-term abusive relationship.