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Being someone's first


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My ex and I are starting to date again after being apart for a year. We have talked about things and decided to work on ourselves but also still see each other as we want to be in each others lives as more than friends. I've been having some concerns, that I will bring up to him in the near future, but was hoping to get some advice here first!

 

I am the only person he has been with as far as sex goes. I am worried he will regret that and maybe resent me later on? I'm not thinking marriage right now ( we are early 20's) but he knows I don't want to be together again unless we both see a bigger future together so marriage is of course possible. Right now we kiss and make out but I won't go any further until I know he is committed and serious. It's hard for me to think he is serious because I can't imagine him not wondering what else is out there and wanting to "explore" other people and experiences.

 

Maybe this is just me having low self esteem but I don't want him to settle. I know the person you lose your virginity to can be really special but how long does that last in someones mind before they forget and want something else? I've been with other people so I wouldn't blame him at all I just don't want to get hurt again because I saw it coming and did nothing.

Has anyone had a successful, maybe 5 years or more with someone in a similar situation? I'm afraid to tell him these concerns because obviously I don't want him to want to see other people but he might realize I have a point... Or maybe my point is stupid idk

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